Whenever I am in a plane, I always begin to think, "What if this plane crashed?" I think about when we'd know that it was going to crash, the terrifying/fun feeling of being in total free-fall... trying to get yourself together enough to clutch your head in the fashion of the featureless, emotionless victims on the tri-fold safety brochure. One has a baby in her arms. One is a child and so is bent in half, everyone else has their arms against the seat in front of him. When the plane slams into the ground, will his arms break against that seat? Will the paltry strength of his arms be enough to hold the rest of his body back from the catapulting, crushing effects of inertia? Probably not. The seat belt will be his only hope.

In the first scenario, I usually die. How tragic! She has died... on the brink of life's adventures, at the tender age of 21, she was killed in a freak plane accident.... Depending upon my emo level for the day, this one lasts longer or shorter, but usually shorter. Then we move on to even more fun fantasies.

In the second scenario, I am the only one in the whole plane to survive. It's for various reasons, sometimes it's where I'm sitting or because I'm the only one without a person sitting next to me, etc. So I live, but the plane is in ribbons and on fire, and after the wave of the crash is over I look up, trembling, to find the person sitting next to me is DEAD. I usually look at the person next to me at this point and try to imagine what they would look like dead, and whether or not I would be able to climb over them to get out, or if they fell on me, would I be able to lift them off of me, or would I suffocate from bad fumes, still alive but unable to wriggle my way from beneath my neighbor! No, I would definitely escape- even if I were severely injured, as long as it was an injury on one of my extremities, I would endure the pain of yanking my leg, broken in four places, from where it was stuck (perhaps I'd have to rip it off!) and escape the burning plane. Everyone would say, "oh no! She was on that plane! Everyone died! Oh no!" but then it would come out that no, one person survived, it was me, I'm in a bad way, but I'm alive. I'd have to do some serious rethinking of my life and priorities, probably. Having been spared by God, I'd have a new soberness in my personality. I'd be a little less exhuberant, more pensive. Sometimes, if I were at a party and everyone was having a good time, I would just disappear. Oh wait, I already do that.

In the third scenario, my personal favorite, I save everyone. Well, not everyone but mostly everyone. I survive the crash, realtively unharmed. Maybe a broken arm or something, but hopefully not. The first people I have to save are the other people in my row. I have to take stock of them as we sit in the plane, ready to take off: Too heavy? Too bulky and awkward? If I had to choose between the two of them, which one would I save? Where are the nearest children? You've got to save them, of course because they are children... not to mention light and easy to throw over your shoulder. Depending on how badly the plane is on fire, I make quite a few trips back to make sure everyone gets out. I assign some of the not-as-badly-injured folks to help people get down the evacuation slide. For this reason, when they tell you to take note of the nearest exit, keeping in mind that it may be behind you, I always do, because you never know- it could be really smoky and you couldn't see the exit sign, or really dark- you have to know where your nearest exit is and whether it is a window or a door. What if there is a water landing? Well then I'd have to remind everyone to remain on the raft so nobody gets wet and we don't have anyone dying of hypothermia or being eaten by white-tipped sharks. Everyone would be panicking because the plane would be slowly sinking, they'd try and do something stupid. I would have to say, "Calm down, everyone, I need you to calm down for me so we can get through this. I'm not leaving this plane til everyone is safe."

I wouldn't add that I was going to leave before we got the dead people off, because frankly, sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a plane isn't the absolute worst place to be buried and I'm not willing to risk my life or the lives of my plane-mates for people who are already dead. But I wouldn't say that because I think it would just remind the living people of their dead friends and relatives and they would get more panicked and we just can't have that.

Then the flight takes place and it's fine and we land and that's exciting because at any moment we could turn the plane the wrong way and it could start doing mad cartwheels down the runway, the wings tearing off, the tail tearing off, the back of the plane is now open, people could fall out! But really that's the best way to crash land a plane because the wings take up all of the energy that the plane previously had traveling at such high speeds when they break, so there won't be as much energy left when we SLAM full speed into the terminal, much to the chagrin of waiting passengers!

But then we land and it's fine and then we don't get hit by any airplanes that are taking off or landing around us on the runways, and we get to the gate, and after all that it's almost a bit of a let-down.

... Your dreams are rather depressing, depending on your emo lvl of course.
» Dilated on 2006-01-29 12:36:21

what a let down
a perfect landing? that sinks! lol, your fanasties are a bit blood thirsty
» middaymoon on 2006-01-30 06:46:09

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