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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


The Profile


Zanzibar
Age. 39
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. that of my father and his father before him
Location Altadena, CA
School. Other
» More info.
The World









The Link To Zanzibar's Past
This is my page in the beloved art community that my sister got me into:

Samarinda

Extra points for people who know what Samarinda is.
The Phases of the Moon Module
CURRENT MOON
Croc Hunter/Combat Wombat
My hero(s)
Only My Favorite Baseball Player EVER


Aw, Larry Walker, how I loved thee.
The Schedule
M: Science and Exploration
T: Cook a nice dinner
W: PARKOUR!
Th: Parties, movies, dinners
F: Picnics, the Louvre
S: Read books, go for walks, PARKOUR
Su: Philosophy, Religion
The Reading List
This list starts Summer 2006
A Crocodile on the Sandbank
Looking Backwards
Wild Swans
Exodus
1984
Tales of the Alhambra (in progress)
Dark Lord of Derkholm
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
The Lost Years of Merlin
Harry Potter a l'ecole des sorciers (in progress)
Atlas Shrugged (in progress)
Uglies
Pretties
Specials
A Long Way Gone (story of a boy soldier in Sierra Leone- met the author! w00t!)
The Eye of the World: Book One of the Wheel of Time
From Magma to Tephra (in progress)
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Harry Potter 7
The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency
Introduction to Planetary Volcanism
A Child Called "It"
Pompeii
Is Multi-Culturalism Bad for Women?
Americans in Southeast Asia: Roots of Commitment (in progress)
What's So Great About Christianity?
Aeolian Geomorphology
Aeolian Dust and Dust Deposits
The City of Ember
The People of Sparks
Cube Route
When I was in Cuba, I was a German Shepard
Bound
The Golden Compass
Clan of the Cave Bear
The 9/11 Commission Report (2nd time through, graphic novel format this time, ip)
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Twilight
Eclipse
New Moon
Breaking Dawn
Armageddon's Children
The Elves of Cintra
The Gypsy Morph
Animorphs #23: The Pretender
Animorphs #25: The Extreme
Animorphs #26: The Attack
Crucial Conversations
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
A Great and Terrible Beauty
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Dandelion Wine
To Sir, With Love
London Calling
Watership Down
The Invisible
Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Host
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Shadows and Strongholds
The Jungle Book
Beatrice and Virgil
Infidel
Neuromancer
The Help
Flip
Zion Andrews
The Unit
Princess
Quantum Brain
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
No One Ever Told Us We Were Defeated
Delirium
Memento Nora
Robopocalypse
The Name of the Wind
The Terror
Sister
Tao Te Ching
What Paul Meant
Lao Tzu and Taoism
Libyan Sands
Sand and Sandstones
Lost Christianites: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew
The Science of God
Calculating God
Great Contemporaries, by Winston Churchill
City of Bones
Around the World in 80 Days, by Jules Verne
Divergent
Stranger in a Strange Land
The Old Man and the Sea
Flowers for Algernon
Au Bonheur des Ogres
The Martian
The Road to Serfdom
De La Terre � la Lune (ip)
In the Light of What We Know
Devil in the White City
2312
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Red Mars
How to Be a Good Wife
A Mote in God's Eye
A Gentleman in Russia
The Fatal Conceit: The Errors of Socialism
Seneca: Letters from a Stoic
The Juanes Module


Juanes just needed his own mod. Who can disagree.
Love and Other Forgotten Things
Sunday. 6.6.04 3:33 am

Once we watched a movie in Archaeology and I wondered the whole time whether or not someone ever loved that little 80s-era archaeological scholar woman. Whether the mere sound of her name made someone's ears perk up. Whether he would non-chalantly ask about her career, her work, anything about her. Whether he would wander about for the rest of the day savoring these tiny bits of information because it made him feel more connected to her, made him forget how long ago it was and how far apart they've become and everything in between that went wrong. Maybe, if she's lucky, his thoughts aren't so bittersweet. Maybe he thinks of the first time they met and how it felt when she wanted him too and their children and he'll hope that he dies first so he won't have to live in the world without her.
I wonder what she would say if I asked her if she had a person in the back of her mind whom she used to think about constantly, such that if she went one busy, distracted day without thinking of him she would feel as if she had won a contest of will and strength. She would say to herself that evening, "why, I haven't thought of him all day!" and this revelation would be followed by a sudden guilty realization that she thought of him just then with her revelation, and all of the ground that had been covered that day was just lost again.
Perhaps if I asked old, well-worn nursing home inmates they would be angry with me. They would start guiltily at my question- they would feel as if I was asking them to break Lent... but it would be too late. They would have already rested their mind upon that single person (or two?) and whether or not they ever intended to tell me about it, my mind-reading machine would already know everything. The story of a moment or years, the precious seconds they spent almost achieving fufillment- the eons it took to learn to cope with never actually achieving it. They would have crafted their walls through years and years of carefully reining in their thoughts. Maybe they had succeeded and shut that person from their minds completely.
Ah, but one question would ruin everything, it would bring back pain and joy and longing and daydreaming and agony and everything they'd spent their whole life ignoring, like a begger outside your car window.
Think of it. Some guilt, shame, suspicion. If you act you don't know what will happen... it could be wonderful. It could be that you saved someone's life. It could be terrible... you could be hurt, you could be duped! It could be something quite indifferent. He could take your money and you would never know how your life had affected his, if he remembered you at all. So most of us sit in our car and feel uncomfortable. Are the doors locked? Is the light green? Ah, but the radio must be attended to. That scrape on the far sidewalk is very interesting. Ignoring the fact that he is there may be just as painful as acting upon it, but it's much, much easier. You aren't about to be duped. You aren't a fool.
I suppose the little 80s archaeologist is still fighting with developers and writing letters to the historical societies. Marrying an archaeologist is a great thing, my sister reminded me- the older you get the more interested he is in you. So maybe she is married and she appreciates him more with every day. Maybe when he dies she'll preserve his body so that archaeologists of the future will find him and know that he was loved. Maybe she'll burn his bones to ash and scatter them to the four winds so that some future archaeologist won't be able to please herself by setting his skull upon the corner of her desk and looking at his marker-labelled teeth through a magnifying glass.


mood: 2:30 in the morning
listening to: where did I go right
watching: The Alabama, Secret Lives of Dentists

In other news, may Zach's cat and Ronald Reagan rest in peace.

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