I didn't know what I was exactly thinking or even thought about it, but before I realised, I found myself hopping onto a feeder bus to Bukit Merah Interchange for a long ride back home after work. I found myself urgently in need of a toilet to relieve myself and walked all the way until McDonald's where I sat down and pondered back when I used to live in Tiong Bahru when I was young (3 or 4 years old). Back then, life was simple, not like now where everyday is a rat race for survival, racing to the top, and be able to catch the fresh scent of "fresh air" before anyone else does before me. Why, I remembered how my parents used to bring me to Bukit Merah every weekend where we would have an early supper at KFC. I'm sure many people, especially those born before the 1980s remembered that KFC used to place their chilli and ketchup sauce (in bottles) on the tables and customers can help themselves to however much sauce they like, not like now, sauces and condiments came in disposable satchets and packets. I also remembered my father buying me toys from KFC once in a while whenever they have new stocks available (much like McDonald's Happy Meals now) and my mother would wait with me patiently, sitting on the benches that are right in front of the cashier counters eagerly awaiting what new toy(s) KFC would have. Those were really happy days, everyone was happy, the cashier counter staffs were really sweet and nice (partly because I was small and cute lar...). Family outings were considered a rare occasion for me in which I never really truly cherished until now, I realised that having a family outing is almost near impossible as everyone in my family is working to earn more money to have a better and stable life.



Simlpy put, I may sound greedy, wanting all that's good in life and yet complained so much endlessly. But what I would really want most in this world, is just my family. A family outing where everyone enjoyed ourselves without having to worry about anything (except my mother who would worry if the laundry would be dry the following morning). And back in tiong Bahru where I used to live, I remembered my grandfather who would always buy me everything and anything I wanted. We were not exactly well off but everyone tried to give me the best that life had to offer, even if it means trying to live and survive within their own means. Now that my grandfather is in and out of the old folk's home (he's old, slipped and fell and got admitted to hospital and everybody claimed they are too busy to care for him), I also realised that I had never ever truly cherished what he had done for me until now. I know it's too late for any regrets, and that one day, he might not be here anymore to talk to, or to style his wispy long white hair a la Son Goku (DragonBall) style. But still, memories of my wonderful grandfather would always be in my heart even until the day I breathed my last, surrounded by how many children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren. But then, if I could have one wish, I really wished that I could go back and start my life all over again and started caring for my family more, listened to my mother's advice instead of not believing her.



And while these thoughts flashed across my mind, I somehow thought back to the time when my mother told me that my grandmother (from my mother's side) used to have a sister who was unfortunately killed when a bomb was dropped onto their house during WWII. Emotions definitely run high, as I would definitely have to bid farewell to those I loved and knew and yet never got the chance to know people who are supposed to be in my family but yet unfortunately passed on. Life sucks when this type of stuff happens, yes it really does all the time. But every time when I thought about these things, I would nevertheless remembered to look on the bright side and think about what the future might hold or bring for me. And as the saying goes, 'Life is always greener on the other side' and I would absolutely love to believe that.

i have the same melancholic sentiments as u. i sometimes wish that time just freeze and money is the least thing to worry and lead a carefree life but it's impossible in this age now. i sometimes i could go back time and revive those carefree boisterous laughs which i could not muster them now... how to laugh so carefree when there r so many problems at stake?

i cherish my happiest moments but i could feel that those moments r slipping away from my mind and i really don't want that to happen ....

if only time could just freeze.
» renaye on 2008-04-30 12:53:18

renaye: true. if only everyone had the chance once, to just go back in time to correct the mistakes, life would have been perfect...
» PuNiaoPuNiao on 2008-05-03 08:58:10

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