1. Everyone thinks the world of you. Actually, we'd like to send you to another world.

2. Your breath smells of alcohol, you won't keep your hands off of me, and you make lewd comments. You should be the poster boy for sexual harassment.

3. Our corporation used to be in the black. Thanks to your hard work and dedication to the destruction of employee morale you have managed to put our company deep into the red.

4. The only person that ought to be laid off in this company is you. A hamster could run this company better than you.

5. Brilliant idea increasing our health premiums by 50%. I'd be careful walking on the shop floor. Your health could be at risk.

6. After twenty years of hard work and personal loyalty, you have decided to give me a day off of work. What will be next? Are you next going to pay me minimum wage?

7. You're instituting a weight reduction program? Great! You're going to fire any employee who doesn't lose twenty pounds in one month? Not so great. I hope that you're the first one to get canned. After all, they don't call you Mr. Henry �Fatso� Jenson for nothing.

8. Thank you for instituting the No Smoking policy, the No Personal Email policy, the No Social Conversations policy, the No Eating Food on the Premises policy, and the No Going to the Restroom More than One Time a Day policy. I have a new policy to offer. It's called the No Listening to the Boss policy. I think it will go over extremely well.

9. Putting two employees in one cubicle should really cut cost and reduce energy. I see that you are having the hottest secretary in the company in your cubicle. I'll be sure to pass the news on this to your wife.

10. Having five company meetings in four hours is a bit excessive. Listening to your monotone voice is worse. Looking at your boring statistics puts me to sleep. Watching you scratching your baldhead, fidgeting with the pencil, and picking at your nose is abysmal. Finally, telling ethnic jokes and making rude comments is the worst. You have about as much charisma as a dead toad.

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