For the first time ever i'm having christmas with my family. Just my family.

No grandma, no relatives, just the 4 of us. I'm excited about it. Really.

This seems to be the only thing that's going REALLY well in my life currently. I have a warrent out for my arrest. I have to take care of it as soona s I get back to Fort Worth. It's for having no inspection sticker, I have it now. I also have 2 tickets for expired meters. The total of that is 27 dollars. Could be worse. I don't think it'll be a HUGE deal....but it'll be sizeable. I haven't paid my Target credit card....this really isn't a good. .......Actually, that's about it. It's not that much when I look back at it. But when it's in front of me it seems terrifying. TERRIFYING. But all things shall pass. Eventually.

I'm sitting next to my tree. I can see all our ornaments.
The MardiGras one - where we went to New Orleans.
The koala holding a key - the year I got my car.
The "Thank me I voted for Kerry" - The year I voted.
The red ribbon and bell which say "For she who can hear the bell..." - The year I found out about Santa.
The little mouse sitting on a camera - The year I got my first camera.
The purple wizard - The year we went to Las Vegas.
The yarn with mistletoe picture - mom and dad's first christmas together.

I love our tree. One day i'll have on of my own with all it's own memories. The thought of having enough things to fill a christmas tree weirds me out. It let's me know just HOW MUCH I have yet to still go. And where will it lead me? ....psh, no clue. It's a comfort though, this tree. It's constant. It's memorable. It's a place to remember.

I think i'm getting scared. But not for me. I think I should have been scared. I think perhaps I always was. But not for me. All I can really do is Sam it up.

Someday everything will be ok. Perhaps not in the way we wanted it to be, but still. I believe this - I know it's silly and slightly naieve, but perhaps the song is right "sometimes the realiest things are reached by making believe".

I won't be online for awhile so in advance I'd like to wish everyone on NuTang a very merry christmas. I pray you're spending it in a way that is meaningful to you and with people who care about you.

So basically you're an outlaw?

So you could get arrested at any time? All that for no inspection sticker? Don't they usually just tell you to get one or issue you a fine or something?

Merry Christmas!! Have a good one.
» Zanzibar on 2008-12-23 01:52:25

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