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Bubbles at Stoplights
Thursday. 1.11.07 2:21 pm
Ever feel like you knew what to do about a given situation - You knew everything about it - and yet you still made the choice that seemed leaves you second guessing everything?

I was feeling down yesterday for one reason or another.
My brother noticed.

After I went to my room so that I could write everything down, he walked in and asked me what was wrong. Then we talked.

When did my brother get so smart? I know that wasn't my doing. lol. I think somewhere along the line I missed a step, or it's possible that I just never reached that step - I put myself on 'pause' I guess you could say.

"what do you want?"
I thought about it. I looked at him and he said "if you don't know, that's just sad". He's right, it is sad. I started blabbing and being stupid. He told me that I can't do this for anyone but me. I nodded and went right along being stupid. He made me laugh, gave me a hug and then left the room.

As I sat there contemplating what had just happened - I realized he's very right. I really can't do this for anyone. Anyone other than myeslf. I haven't thought of just me for a very long time. I haven't really gone after anything that I trully want in Lord knows how long. It filled me with a sense of....something. I don't really know what it was - determination, motivation, relief, or a general feeling of being content. It was something though - and it was something that's beens missing far too much in my life. As for what I want? Well, there's the short term - and long term. Long term I have far more of an idea about than short term. I'm not too worried about myself in the long run.

I made a list of goals. Short term goals - no more than 3 months.
Read a book once a month.
Strike up conversation with someone I don't know once a week.
Start running in the mornings.
Help my brother start to pick up tennis (and learn it myself while I'm at it).

Tossed in there is also "find a job" which is pretty important - but isn't quite what I would consider a goal. I had a job interview at Kirkland's yesterday. I'm not sure how it went - my heart wasn't in it and I believe the manager noticed. I'm not expecting a call back. I've applied to a few other places but the search continues. I need one pretty badly though - so I'm hopeing that I find something soon. I need to start saving hardcore.

As for the title? Well, I've had left over bubbles from Lauren's wedding sitting in my car for awhile. So today as I ran some errands for my mom - everytime I was at a stoplight...I blew a few out the window. It made me smile.
Recommended by 1 Member
ShirleyTemple
1 Comments.


awwW
like the title-story. good luck finding a job. it's good to have money for the things you wanna do.
» ShirleyTemple on 2007-01-12 09:38:28

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