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Chapter 3
Thursday. 11.24.05 10:11 am
a perfect example of this is again in 12 monkeys. dude has these scientists pumpin his head with propaganda and he starts to believe it. the beauty of the movie is that they never really show if its all fact, or if he was crazy and made up the future world. the only thing proving it was all real was the 2 unexplained dissapearances. Barring those, you could safely argue that he was the grown man in the 90s and went to loony town when he saw the future. but what if its not loony town, what if he sees that in his dreams? this takes some recapping of previous entries. mainly that i think the other 90% of our brains we cant use could be some phat ass shit like telekenesis or foresight. and i think its possible that our brains work while we sleep. so what if that other 90% we cant work, is workin on its own while we sleep. hence the dreams when you see something, then it happens. or when you become lucid in a dream and whatever you create with your brain really happens. obviously it doesnt REALLY happen, but think about it, you saw it, you perceived it, it could be real. id rather think i was eating a bangin steak when im really eatin poop, instead of eating a moderate meal (barring the obvious nutritious facts, stay with me here) and they hit on that in the matrix. but we're not talkin about that movie. fuck neo.

so in 12 monkeys, maybe while he dreamt he saw the scientists and the post-apocalypse and maybe that was his brains foresight. thats just a possibility, but what did happen is he vividly saw repeatedly in his dreams himself and chickie runnin thru the airport and gettin shot up like a bucket of shoes. because shooting buckets of shoes is fun. but keep followin me here, he saw it repeatedly (she said she saw it too) and it happened EXACTLY like he saw it. that happens to us everyday and i dont think its coinicidence. i think we have that ability to unlock it and access said goodies. even if its all mental and not really real but agian this whole point is who can discern the difference, especially for others? take this 'dont get caught up in the CROSSFIRE!' example: have you had that dream where you were falling, or the 3957 foot monkey knee was chasing you and you knew you were going to die, but you wake up. now, it didnt really happen did it? but were you sweating in real life? was your adrenaline pumping? again reference to the matrix where your mind makes it real. because you perceive it, thus making it a reality.

dude in 12 monkeys perceived the end of the world and made it real. whether he was really from the future or not is still up to debate. the beauty is, he dies and the movie ends. they never show if dude actually goes around and kills the world. so its up there, in the cabinet labled debate, but Kim spelled debate wrong. dizzy fuckin broad. but listen, what happens if people perceive something that isnt real? his example, he perceived it, it could have happened, you have reason to believe it did happen, but everyone calls him crazy. which is understandable. its hard to acknowledge someone else's reality if you havent perceived it yourself. take for instance the black guy he meets in the psyche ward. he says hes not really from space and goes on to tell him about the planet hes from and everything.

first off let me say he wasnt a dick like most people and was polite and generally concerned about his new found friend. considering most of the world is assholes, if thats how crazy people are, put me with 'em (not that i probably dont belong there anyway). but this dude says hes from all over the place in space, and the other guy in the movie, as well as probably most viewers were like 'ok hes' crazy' i think its not that easy. maybe he really was from the freaky ass planet he was talking about. and if he was, then said ok im a regular born on earth, then hed be crazy for making shit up and distorting reality. thats why the movie is so awesome, becuase he knows he is from the future, he knows the world died, he knows he was sent back in time. all very unlikely, but he knew it. so he wasnt dumb, he knew he could have said whatever the doctors wanted to hear to get released. but he didnt say it because it would plant the seed of denial then hed get confused and not know which reality was really real.

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follow up (chapter 2)
Tuesday. 11.22.05 6:54 am
[note, i went to town and made like a 10 page entry in about an hour, so instead of posting it all at once, im doing it in chapters if you will, but its all really good and if you miss one chap you should go back and read it before moving on]

first off, good to see no one argued with my statement of never letting anyone down. not that i have anyone would comment or read this rambling garbage anyway. because i would have flipped. second, a fun fact, the initials for the gym on post are KFC, kind of ironic. and thirdly, just a thought of mine, they should make socks with a little velcro piece on the inside of either ankle, so when you take em off you can stick em together (being on the inside the right would only match right with the left) then either you lose the whole se or niether sock. or if you have a wide variety of socks like myself you keep the matching ones together. nothin fancy, just sow some washable velcro on the outside of the sock so you dont even know its there.

so onto the follow up about insanity. which comes at a good time having just watched 12 monkeys (and downloading it again after remembering the greatness there in). i hate seeing brad pitt because hes on about every magazine and i know alot more about him, jennifer, and angelina than i would willingly allow. but regardless he does play some kick ass roles in some kick ass movies. 12 monkeys a perfect example. he plays a crazy guy, but by whos standard? by his standard the rest of the world was crazy for the whole consumerism idea, which makes sense to me. his point, my inerpretation, was that people are brainwashed by advertisements and the status quo of what you should do how you should look. and people scrap and starve to obtain that. thats pretty crazy if you ask me.

my definition of insanity, like ibe said in a previous post, is trying to bend reality ar make up new realities, in which reality is simply perception. So being 300 pounds and thinking you can dance like brittney spears and wear what she can is falsifying your perception and thus falsifying reality and thus youre crazy. so if you follow the logic (if a = b, b = c, then a = c) then if you weigh in at the slim 300 pounds and think you're brittney, you're crazy. safe to say right? so basically the whole bending of perception, the making shit up, is lying to yourself. so following the same theorum, lying to yourself makes you crazy. which i agree with 100%. short people are short, dorks are dorks, white people are dirty nasty crackers, dont make shit up. when people make shit up and try to ignore reality, or distort it, they start to do crazy shit. like the white people that like to think theyre black and wear Fubu and talk with a forced slang because its not their natural way of talking are crazy.

now i think theres definately extremes of insanity. the average wigger/fat brittney is a moderately harmless loon. they only make themselves look silly. which in doing so, other people see how low someone can be, thus realize the reality of how low people can be, and compare it to themselves which makes them feel better about themselves. so their craziness is in turn helping others. or pissing them off/making them puke as is usually my respective response to either group. but the harmful crazies are the people in power, or people that can easily persuade others to believe their crazy. namely if they have a malicious agenda as a result of such crazy. dumb honkeys like to alter perception (distort reality) and think one race is better than other, thus they spread that idea (spread the crazy as i like to say) and get other hooded morons and burn crosses and some fucked up shit to people just minding their own business. ya know, if they were at work, they wouldnt be dragging people down the street with their truck. dirty fuckin rednecks.

so its proof that other people can definately spread insanity. you have a perception, a reality. and farmer billy-bob fucked his sister Jeff comes along and drops seeds of doubt and deception into your head, making you question the reality youve already sanely come to accept. so by his words/actions he has twisted your perception, twisted your reality and then you share the crazy view. or he doesnt even have that view, he just changes your mind so you have it and give him your money. now im not saying i felt like that in church which is why i stopped going or any thing .... *achoosarcasm. excuse me.

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abandoned
Monday. 11.21.05 8:48 am
a good song by bif naked on her new CD (which has a kick ass cover of 'Nothing Else Matters'). in lieu of the awesome song i hate that word. unless its like an abandoned house or mine or something. its more the quote 'you abandoned me' i hate both aspects of it. (though ive never said it or had it said to me)

i hate the idea of being abandoned. for me, mainly because i never want to have to rely on someone so much that you could pull out the big guns and launch a word as heavy as abandoned. sure ive been disappointed, sold out, stabbed in the back. never abandoned. the only people ive relied on to that extent have been mom and dad dukes, and theyve never abandoned me. sure i could say let me down, broke promises, but again, nothing to justify the use of the A word. fuckin scarlet letter. and i hate the people that would abandon someone. if someone relies on you to that extent, just do your fuckin job and do the right thing and get it done. it ties in to the whole honor and work ethic which is why id hate to hear the onther end.

id probably gouge my own kidneys out and bake them in a shit cake if someone could say that to me with validity. ill be damned. ive proved my loyalty and reliability to everyone i feel deservant of it so they know goddamn well ill probably never hear it. ill be damned. im too stubborn to quit. we all know this. im too stubborn to break a promise. and the only way 'abandoned' would be a applicable term is even someone depended on me for their life, or livelihood, or something extreme. like someone gettin raped. again; ill be damned. i would have to be dead or incapacitated beyond all belief. now, i understand the idea that some things are beyond your control, but thats not a theory in my brain book. i think theres always something to be done. again; too stubborn to quit. no matter the negative outcome to myself, if someone relies on me to that extent, im not gonna let em down. its that simple.

and its amazing, as simple of an idea as it is to me, the less extreme version is still beyond comprehension of some people. i understand no ones perfect, but breaking promises is like the worst thing ever. if you made a promise, and things beyond your control occur (i dunno, getting ran over or something) then its understandable. but these people that make promises with no intention of keeping, or they 'abandon' the promise at the fist sign of conveniece are below the recognition of existance in my book. despicable is the word im lookin for. wheres the honor in human kind anymore? holy shit i read stories or watch specials of people who have won the medal of honor, then talk to someone who cant keep a simple promise they made 30 days ago. the contrast is mind numbing. and im not saying everyone should be a medal of honor winner. those people go above and beyond even superior humans. its just amazing to see how selfless some people can be, then how selfish others can be.

so then im labled a 'skeptic' because someone promises me something and i say their full of shit. first off, dont 'label' someone you dont know based on one action. i could randomly kick a can of shit out of a car, and then youd label me as someone who works in a shit can kicking company, which just isnt true. better yet you could see someone make a touchdown pass, thats all you see, and you label them as a bomb diggity quarter back. when really they suck. but no, Princess Knows Everything Ever saw one thing and BAM IN YOUR FACE has all the answers. well fizzy funky fuck no bitch, you dont. its like i read page 167 of Moby Dick, now im an expert on the book. i think im more pissed because i hate the idea of a skeptic. a true skeptic, in my take on it, is someone that pretty much doubts everything which is borderline crazy. tying everything to any one thing (this case being a high chance of failure) to me is a way of bending reality and thats when you become crazy. ill do more on my crazy stint tomarrow.

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invention
Friday. 11.18.05 7:51 pm
One of the greatest inventions i have come across is the Frito Scoop. so good. they rock especially hard with ramen or fried rice. it disproves the famous qoute "if it aint broke dont fix it." fritos were delcious to begin with, they were a working thing. then someone came along and made it better. i hate that quote. we always make good things better, thus negating that logic.

its like saying "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" why? what fucking bass ackwards logic is that? if the bridge is on fire, and i say now "hey cliff, we need our fire walking boots" he'll say "well cross that bridge when we get to it" but we wont because he didnt fucking listen to me and bring the goddamn fire boots. what a fuckin idiot. that cliff guy. so in turn we WONT cross the bridge when we get to it, have to double back to where we started and get said fire boots. when a little goddamn planning would have solved it.

no one (good) in chess says 'ill cross ....' dont feel like tyoing the whole quote again (so i type an explanation of my laziness which is longer than the acutal qoute. ha!) but still he doesnt say that because he plans ahead and doesnt make a dumb ass move now. ooohh i hate that nasty saying. its someone willingly saying "fuck you brain, i dont want your waves of sense clouding my thought" and i have to deal with it all the time. 'hey we can save 2 hours of work with 2 minutes of effort here' .... 'yeaaaaaaaah ya know what? (fart noise) ITS SILLY DAY TODAY!' fuckin people. or they just say 'we'll cross that bridge...' and i dont get it. im trying to cross it now. why walk 2 days up river to get to the bridge and walk back when we can cross it right here, at this bridge right in front of us?

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fun in Korea
Thursday. 11.17.05 6:08 pm
Ever bored in Pusan on a Thursday nite? heres an idea: go watch an anti-american demonstration. holy shit its like a black guy goin to a KKK rally. but listen, its a bunch of lazy whiny college kids who wouldnt fight to defend themselves let alone start some shit.

the main lines of said demo were no APEC and No bush (as mentioned by antiapec.com). many of said demonstrators are unemployed. my take it that if you dont contribute to the economy, you cant complain about how it works. its kind of like not voting then bitching about who becomes president. i love the shirt (tshirthell.com) that has Bush holdin a peace sign and it reads 'ill bet you vote next time hippie' thats good stuff.i hate protestors. im not sure why. even if i agree with what their protesting. theres some inherent hatred for it. i think its because of so many people protesting against the US government and military that fight and die to protect their right to protest. damn commies.

it reminds me of those cd's that were recorded in america, by an american record label, that i bought with US dollars that i bought in america, that is bashing america. "rrrraaawwwrrr i hate america ... unless its making me rich of course!!" then said band tours america. kinda like green day, the seatle-based (seattle still part of the US last I checked) band who now has english accents and makes fun of america and americans while most of their albums and tour dates are within the states and i hear the song on the american game 'tony hawks AMERICAN wasteland' that again i bought with US dollars in America (well on an american post in my case). "hey youre an idiot, buy my CD for $20" which personally i think if you do, you are an idiot so they wouldnt be far off.

so here i am walkin around the demo and theres honeslty more people walking thru the area, kinda shakin their head disagreeingly, because the demo was blocking a fairly large market road. so this economic debate took place and blocked the actual people contributing to the economy from doing what they do. good deal, bitch about big companies pissin on the 'little people' then block said people from selling their goods for a demo that barely made a headline on their own website.

it reminds me of the peta demonstration in seoul. two girls locked themselves in a cage and bitched about the chickens. i can only assume one of two things: either they took a vacation day from work to do it, or that idea need not apply to said protestors. the real irony is thatall the KFC talk made me hungry for chicken, and i went to the KFC for lunch. and i saw about 10 people i saw at the protest there as well. i love to see the 'backfire' protest technique at work. and i feel sorry for the cops because they all have to spend their night at said demo and for what? a few hundred jobless hippies want to be recognized for something. and i would think if they were so serious about their cause then there would be alot less signing and dancing and partying and more actual speeches trying to get the groups point across. but what do i know im an 'american idiot'

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Tony Hawks American Wasteland
Sunday. 11.13.05 7:25 pm
normally you would expect alot of exclamation marks and hootin' and hollarin' from 'ol crossley here, but nay i say unto thee. i think 'waste' is a prime word to put in the title of this one. listen, i love me some tony hawk, but with each new game my interest has dropped exponentially. heres my chart of interest in tony hawk games starting from the beginning: | | I i : . thats, 1, 2, 3, 4, thug, thug 2, and the space after the period is the new waste game.

i didnt think it was possible but they finally did it. they made "Hot Topic: The game" Tony hawk one, you toss it in, turn it on and just fucking skate. they tell you what you have to do and you do it. simple clean fun. same with the first few. but now, i turn the game on and about an hour later i can finally start fucking skating. THEN i still need to 'unlock' the simplest tricks like manualing. what the fuck is this shit? and of course the whole story is all about 'getting your look' so you look like every other 'outcast' in the game. which if they're all outcats why do they look/talk/act identical? hard for a fucking clone to be an individual.

so the idea, (as far as the first maybe 2 hours i actually played [which comes to about 4 hours of gametime with all the stupid cut scenes and story]) is to skate and impress everyone to become part of their group. way to teach the youngins that you're essentially useless unless you dedicate your life to becoming good at something they all are and impress them. the first goddamn 'mission' in the game is to change your clothes because you dont 'look the part' theres the fun im looking for in a skating game, deciding what clothes make me look more like everyone else.

now, i hate the term sell out, but come on. they took an awesome game, nay, an institution and turned it into 'MTV's Skate Off 2005 Yo'!!!1!' fuck that. if they spent half the time they took designing all the useless 'story characters' and all the 'hip clothes' and spent it desinging good skatable boards and just making the game play more fun. it would fucking kick ass. the fist game rocked because all you did was skate. with all the new technology and better systems they could keep the same mentality just make it better. i understand games, like bands (they always get accused of 'selling out') have to grow and expand or they become the same crap over and over *cough cannibal corpse cough* but growth and graduationg to suck-titude are two different terms. if you listen to any one thing i ever say, dont buy tony hawks american waste of $50.

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