Music: "Daddy's Little Girl" by Frankie J. A rather depressing song, but I think it's so beautiful.

I worry about Jenn. She's been exercising a lot lately and trying to eat healthy, because she wants to get back to the weight she was after high school. I think it's great that she wants to be healthy, but I worry that she might not be able to get there.

Of course it doesn't matter to me how she looks. In fact sometimes I wish she'd see herself the way I see her. I just worry that her desire to be that skinny again might keep her from ever being happy with the way she looks. I'm especially worried because, part of the reason she was that skinny is that she was basically starving herself. I don't think she'd do that anymore. She's too smart for that now. But it still makes me worry.

The thing is I don't know whether to say anything, or just wait it out. I want her to be as happy with the way she looks as I am (with the way she looks). I try to tell her how beautiful she is... usually in subtle ways or with body language. But I'm beginning to wonder if I'm being too subtle. Maybe I should just tell her straight out that she's beautiful. Not sure if she'd believe me or not.

Man sometimes I really wish I knew what she was thinking. It's rather frustrating to feel like you don't know the person you're in a relationship with. Doesn't happen all the time, but every once in a while I feel really out of my depth with her. Then I feel stupid, as if I should have been paying more attention all along. Like I missed some key piece of information that would help me understand her.

Then again, maybe it just takes time.

I wonder if she feels like she really knows me..?

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A lot has happened in the last two days.

Jenn and I fought. We made each other cry. We said a lot of things that needed to be said. The good news is that things should be okay now. We both realized that we were both doing things to the other that were hurting us. And we're both going to make an effort not to do those things.

Long story short... we're okay.

God I hate making her cry.

Time for some new music. Something a little more upbeat. This is With All that I Am by Chris Green.

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