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Why I didn’t choose you.
Thursday. 10.24.19 7:15 am
Chris. I think from the beginning, I felt you never truly gave to me. You gave in many ways, but not the ways I felt fulfilled by.

I didn’t choose you in the end, because I was unhappy through all of it. In the beginning you had Sonya and Jessica. In our second year, you got so angry with me you broke up with me and needed space. In the third year you went to Berkeley and I was supporting you. In the 4th-6th year, you didn’t give...anything.

I know I play the blame game a lot, and there were things I didn’t do right as well. But there were many things I felt I did right, more right than you. I gave a lot of love to you, and I gave my whole heart and soul. I guess I felt you never did that for me.

So, I get it. You’re hurt because you always felt like things were conditional. And...they were.

I hope though, with Roger, it doesn’t feel that way for me. If we end up being together through the rough times and end up in marriage and kids, I hope I always choose him. And I hope he always chooses me.

Roger, I haven’t told you yet...but I’m falling in love with you. And at this moment, I see myself always choosing you.

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Roger That
Saturday. 9.28.19 5:43 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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