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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Sing... sing
Wednesday. 3.12.14 4:46 am
I don't really like how I could hear the transition of my voice to higher pitch during singing. And I finally realised I could hear the transition of Utada Hikaru's voice too.

So why am I so work out?


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A new possession
Monday. 3.10.14 12:03 am
I bought myself a new laptop over the weekend. Despite that, I don't have time to play around with it. How sad.

But on the bright side, I have gotten free coffees in conjunction with International Women's day!

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What do people regret the most?
Thursday, March 6, 2014
I read on a blog and these are The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish Id had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didnt work so hard.
3. I wish Id had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

It's from a book written by Bronnie Ware. I'm not going to tell much about the writer because if you are interested you will need to do your research. You will remember the details much better later. =)

I had done number 3 recently. To a guy. With my thoughts conquering only 3 quarter of the page. And he replied me in similar length.

I did that because I want to make myself happy. So I can die with a peace of mind. I have nothing to lose and I certainly do not want to lose him.

We all know we can't escape from death but we are still twirling with time as if we live for eternity.

Why not do something today that won't add on to your regret list? Like dancing in the rain? Oh well, perhaps dancing in the sun?

I used to have a list of things I wanna do and try... but I was recently overwhelmed with emotions and work, it's high time to get back my creativity.

Everyone, live life to the fullest!

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Whose innerself?
Tuesday. 3.4.14 5:36 am
He is the third Japanese celebrity that I dreamed of.

We both were lying down on a single bed in a dormitory like. In front of us was a tv. There was a third female person in the room with us and she was lying on his bed end. The earlier part was a little fuzzy but I think she and I were talking something which I exhibited my maturity. That's because he suddenly said he could then asked me for advise. I looked at him with a puzzle look because I did not realise he was listening to our conversation. He suddenly asked what do I think of him having a simple straight shoulder length hair cut like the female on tv. I went gag. What? You were asking me such nonsensical question? I replied didn't you have such hairstyle before? He said he had but what about again. I actually wanted to reply him that he looks just fine with his current hairstyle. Why the change? I also wanted to shoot him to ask someone else or ask his hairdresser but I clammed up.

He seemed to be quite comfortable talking to me that he was now hugging like a bolster as he lied on the pillow, facing me, talking to me like how a couple having bed talk. Yea, that was what I felt.... Then he asked why was my sister single for a long time... I was really confused. But I answered diplomatically that she is now going steady with someone. He actually mumbled that he could not because he could not leave the house. Then he suddenly switched to why was I single for a long time.

I looked at him across from my bed in silence. I did not know what to answer, but as if I could feel his feelings, and I feel sorry for him because no matter how much he yearns for a life partner, I am not the one he is looking for. Even if I said yes because I am a great fan of him, he will definitely feel it is not the love he is looking for from the relationship. We will be good friends who are connected in spirit. We are never meant to be lovers.

And later... I realised his former group member mates were also in the dormitory and I just missed them coming out from the toilet!


And they just finished showering!

Anyways, it was a sad dream. I think I have to control my dreams as I think I am entering people's consciousness. I think why I dreamed of him is because one of his besties left the entertainmeng agency that he is affiliated with yesterday. It must be a shock to him.

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Thursday. 2.27.14 6:55 pm
I remember asking around my friends if they are interested to take up some part time jobs when I have a bunch in my hand, and all of them decline with the excuses busy here and there.

And recently one of them came up to me and asked if I knew any. He simply explained that he now has another mouth to feed so hence the need of extra money.

Why after not before having a baby? He again explained he was busy making baby. My god. It's the other way round, honey.

By the way, I don't really like people declining my offers without having the courtesy to reply me. And busy is not the appropriate reply. There are many jobs out there that are one-off. You have the right to be choosy but do not tell me you are busy making baby. I don't buy that..

Anyways, they will have their own way to get money...

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For ever!
Sunday. 2.23.14 7:22 pm

I learnt that my collegemate from New Zealand just got married to her college sweetheart yesterday. They both are so sweet!

They are both Japanese but from different city and I knew a long time ago that she relocated herself to be near to her boyfriend.

I'm glad they are still together and now married!!!

I'm so happy for him and for her!

I think my college is a real love nest because it has already matched so many couples!!!

We should really have a reunion. It will be so cool to everyone with their little versions. I truly miss my college life. Some of them may not play an important role, but I was glad to have met them.

I am for what I am today...

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