I wish I wasn't so dependent. It's rather stupid - and I know it. Not to mention I didn't used to be - where did this come from?



in any case...



These past few days have been.....intresting.
I'm still on cloud 9.
But I'm not sure how to tell people.

Also, I got a job. Waitressing at Red Lobster.

They tell me it's good money - or that there's at least the opprotunity for good money. *fingers crossed that I don't drop a full tray covered with food all over someone*

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Our Massive Planet (the wonderful world of whales)

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Our Massive Planet (whalespeak)

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I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me
Love was out to get to me that's the way it seems
Disappointment haunted all my dreams

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried

I thought love was more or less a given thing
The more I gave the less I got, oh yeah
What's the use in trying all you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine I got rain

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried

What's the use in trying All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshineI got rain

And then I saw her face Now I'm a believer
Not a trace Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried

Then I saw her face Now I'm a believer
Not a trace Of doubt in my mind
Now I'm a believer
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm a believer
Then I saw her face
I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm a believer

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ok, so my mom talked to me earlier today.

There are actually a few things going on in my life actually worth talking about.
My mom hurt her arm. Not a shocking statment I know - but hear me out. A few weeks ago she woke up and thought she was having a heart attack (shooting pains down her left arm), we took her to the ER and they told her she had pulled something wrong. She doubted them and instead went to our general doctor - he told her something was wrong and ordered x-rays. Turns out he was extremely right - she had a pinched nerve. He said it's probably no big deal, but he referred her to some specialists just in case. So, this past week she went to San Antonio to see this guy who is supposed to be really good. He had some bad news in store for us indeed.

Apperently what happened is this: the cartilage that cusions the bones in her neck dried out and ruptured. The ruptured peicies of cartilage now stand dangerously close to one of the largest cluster of nerves in her neck. The one nerve that is currently in most danger is the one that controls her left arm. So, within the next two weeks (they told her if she waited 'till Spring Break it could be too late) she's going to have major surgery. It's a complicated and major surgery - they're going to be going into her from the front of her neck, wrapping around and then adding a piece of bone where the cartilage dried up. Because it's living matter it should be able to heal itself. The doctor is also going to have to remove the bits that are precariously close to her nerves. The risks include losing the use of her left arm, partial paralysis, paralysis, or death. So - needless to say - I'm a little concerned (as is she). However, since she's diabetic it is very possible that she could lose the use of her arm anyway; that somehow the damage has already been done and the surgery would just slow down the progression of it. (Side note: both the diabetis and the bone drying out thing are genetic. Apperently the bone thing is completely undetectable and unpreventable. *yay*)

Then some light came into the arena. My dad is on the verge of losing his job. He works with the county and therefore his bosses are the 4 main judges who preside (sp?) over all 4 districts. This was an election year so they got new judges. Most don't like my dad. Needless to say my father is neither a tactful, friendly, or inviting person so they don't exactly want him to stick around. This accounts for alot more than it should. His recent mood, his overeating, his apathy towards anything that isn't family oriented and his total engrossment in anything that is family oriented. My mom told him that even if he does lose his job - my brother and I would finally qualify for financial aid. He didn't appreciate the thought too much. It sucks that he's going to have to go through this again. Last time he lost his job he didn't find one for another 2 years and I believe those were some of the hardest times on him. He's a VERY proud man and the idea of having no job and not being able to fully provide for us threw him for a huge loop. I'd hate for him to have to go through that again. However, if he learned a few social skills perhaps this wouldn't be such the huge issue that it is. Then again - is it really fair to have that be the reason why or why not you should be able to keep a job that you're relatively good at?

*blah*

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