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Laugh
Monday. 3.5.07 8:39 am
Holy hell some people need to lighten up about almost everything. Does it really matter that much? Some people, myself included, get so wrapped up in something they forget to laugh and it gets worse and worse. Thank god for that ADD again because i'll be overwhelmed, then i'll hear a fart, and i'll laugh, then its all good and the problem gets solved. So i guess the solution to most problems is gas.

But sometimes people get so wrapped up in the dumbest bullshit that they blow it out of proportion and what is essentially a menial situation is the great depression in no time. allow me to draw a parallel. we all have to shave before a formation, too easy. WhineyGuyX213 didnt shave on a certain day, gets in trouble and says its not fair. whats not fair WGX? the fact that you have to do the same thing EVERYONE has to do? so instead of tearing into him, i just laugh at him and call him a cry baby. I feel instantly better and it presents him with a choice: to keep whining even more, or laugh along and let the whole thing blow over.

needless to say in that example he chose the whine up harsh approach and then everyone else made fun of him as he cried himself into a corner. but if he would have just laughed he would have made fun of me, went back and forth with insults, then no one would have cared about the initial situation.

but some people lack the ability to laugh at all. I hate those people. Alot. I think everyone has the ability to laugh, and has a sense of humor to some degree, no matter how small. but people bury it because they want to seem professional or like a hard ass or because flamingos told them to do it. i really have no idea why people choose not to laugh, and you can see it on some people: they CHOOSE not to laugh. so naturally its my goal to make them laugh, especially in front of the people they initially didnt want to laugh in front of.

and the irony is the fruits of my labor are ultimately enjoyed by them because they laugh, then the people the non-laugher wanter to impress realize that he is indeed human and can laugh, then have a new, more positive outlook on that person. its amazing how making somebody laugh over the dumbest thing at the right time can completey change their day. even change their entire outlook on a situation. now, there are some situations in which you cant just laugh it off, i got it. but the other 99% of shit we deal with, if you just step back and laugh at it, it becomes a million times better. i've had so many just retarded tasks to do to which i had the same decision to make as WhineyGuyX38whateverface. and i always pick laughing at it, then it becomes like a game and is more enjoyable and you finish the task laughing.

and attitudes are completey infectious. im sure if id whine it up, then everyone else would and it would be gloomy. but i like to laugh at the task/myself/the other people and so then everyone else does. so then everyone is much more lighthearted and the task gets done faster and is more enjoyable. hence i've argued to my supervisor that my insults and overall smartassed-ness is a force multiplier but he doesnt buy it. i think im going to slash his tires. and thats no laughing matter.

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Goldfish
Saturday. 3.3.07 8:06 pm
So last night, after maybe a few beers, the conversation turned to "what animal would you be?" most people had the common answers: a bird to fly free, all the touchy-feely bullshit. fuck that. I'd be a goldfish and heres why.

A goldfish has a memory of like 20 seconds, and im already not too far away from that. A day in the life of a goldfish consists of: Hey a pirate ship! sweet! hey look food. i like food. yum...Hey a pirate ship! gaddamn that would be sweet. i think thats why god gave women two breasts. so you can be like Hey a boob! hey another boob! hey another boob! etc. and again im not too far behind that now.

listen, ADD is like my best friend. im never bored, well not for long. i do get bored quicker than shit though. but then i see something shiny/edible and its like im reborn. needless to say that screws me at work, hence i have about 29376 unfinished products. The funny thing is the other day i wrote on my to do board: "buy another To Do Board" I really need to get a big ass sandbox for the office. everyone goes outside for a cigarette break, id have my sandbox fun time break. and id bet the smokers would quit just so they could jump in the sandbox too. its a noble cause. screw this im going to find a sand box

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My Curse
Wednesday. 2.28.07 10:14 pm
speaks for itself, by Killswitch Engage:

I watched you walk away
Hopeless, with nothing to say
I screen my eyes
Hoping to see you again

This is my curse (the longing)
This is my curse (to)
This is my curse (the yearning)
This is my curse

There is love burning to find you
Will you wait for me?
Will you be here?

Your silence haunts me
But I still hunger for you

This is my curse (the wanting)
This is my curse (to)
This is my curse (the needing)

There is love burning to find you
Will you wait for me?

Still I want
And I still I ache
But still I wait
To see you again

Dying, inside, these walls (2x)

Can I see your face in these tears? In these tears
And I see your face...

There is love [8x]

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Enemy
Saturday. 11.18.06 2:10 am
Simple fact of the world is we need enemies. Because of our nature everything we do would fail if we didnt have enemies. One reason Capitalism is still running the world and Commies hide in the shadows. We need enemies because we need conflict. Human nature is completely dependent on struggle. Even simple shit like buying a bottle of water. You pick which bottle you want based on a plethera of reasons, cost, quality, etc. which is the result of the battling companies makin their respective products.

I think this idea was unintentionally portrayed in the movie "The gridiron gang" but it is a sad truth of the world. i shouldnt say sad, i love conflict so youd think id like people more. anyway, the movie has all these gang members who get put in juvenille detention and the counselor guys want to give the kids a better life. so they start a football team. in this whole struggle two kids from rival gangs who want to kill each other become best friends on the field. its only for the simple reason that now they have a shared enemy. the gang effect doesnt apply anymore once their inside so they unite to beat their shared enemy being the other football team. its amazing the things people will do to gain more power. and not necessarily power, but power which yields more results which can be seen by others. you can't bragg to everyone about robbing a liquor store, but you can bragg about scoring a touchdown to everyone.

it was a great movie, which is based on a true story, so i think those guys flat out exploited those kids in the detention center. which is fine with me, but it should have been more obviously painted that way instead of the whole 'heroic story' thing. because its too easy to stop 2 gangs from fighting: put them up against a gang as big as both of them combined. we need enemies, we will never NOT have enemies hence we will NEVER have world peace. dont get me wrong i like the idea of it but its unrealistic and impossible with humanity. its survival of the fittest bitches, not survival of the ones with the biggest hearts. im not condoning ruthless needless violence or anything, but to advocate no violence in any fashion is inhuman. and having enemies doesnt necessarily mean violence and war, but its bound to happen anyway. no matter want some people will want power, other will be repressed as a result, then they will rise up with force because its the only way. then they will become power hungry and repress others, rinse and repeat.

but like i said its good to have enemies, its the basis of capitalism hence we still run everything. theres no heroes if theres no villains. for instance, everyone forgot how great soldiers are until we started blowing people up again. we always struggle because we always want to be the best and we want to have the best. this applies to survival and (shutters) society. god i hate that word. because god i hate people. but its true, people do so much more stuff to make themselves look better in society's eye so they create conflict and in turn create enemies. another reason i stopped going to church, everyone went to display their fashions and outdo all their enemies in that sense. fuck that, and fuck society.

what pisses me off the most is people will needlessly create enemies for dumb shit, then roll over and get fucked in the ass for stupid shit because they wont stand up or take action. Fuck them. You know who this doesnt apply to? Jonathan Eddington. That creepy old fuckhole made himself an enemy and Ol' Jonny took care of that cocksucker. Took care of him 12 times in the chest. So what happened was creepy old fuck created conflict without necessity, then out of necessity Jonathan created more conflict which ended the conflict permanently. Fuck yeah Eddington. And fuck you warren jeffs. You sneaky cock sucking monkey fuckin dildo stealin piece of shit.

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pure old fashioned...
Tuesday. 10.10.06 7:52 am
bullshit. sweet shirley temple how can human beings be so completely full of shit? its to the point that when some people talk, i offend them because i automatically assume whatever it is they're saying is 100% bullshit so i do the opposite. even people whom i am supposed to take orders from. actually, ESPECIALLY from the people i am supposed to take orders from.

there are many reasons why people bullshit others, some of which are necessary. bullshitting someone about the magic powers your car possesses are an ill-needed form of bullshit. first off, it is physically impossible for me to give less of a shit about your care. secondly, i somehow find a way to car less when you just talk out of your ass everytime you mention it. its sad when your car is the ONLY thing you have to be proud of in your life, and unless it won somesort of medal or magazine cover, you probably shouldt even be that proud of it. and heres another tip: when i pull the bullshit card on you because youre talking out of your ass on topic X, dont try to dig yourself out of the hole you made by 'falling back on' your car because of the two reasons listed above.

so how are these people able to walk and maintain balance when they are so full of shit.i just picture the state puff marshmallow man walkin around. all wobbly and jello-ey. the one hint of pleasure is my innate ability to piss off bullshitters without even trying. for instance:
Chief: Hey i got alot of X.
Me: Sior theres no such thing as X. Theres Y and Z, but never an X.
Chief: Um ... welllll.... hmmmm.. MY CAR IS BLUUUEEEEEEE!!!!?!!! (pouts for the rest of the day)
I shit you not, this is how conversations with this man goes. and im not trying to bring him down, just stating a fact so he doesnt screw up his elaborate bulklshit technique. and why bullshit me of all people? im well versed in the topic you're trying to bullshit me in, so im obviously gonna know when youre full of shit, and even if you are honest about your 'accomplishments' i still couldnt give a damn. why does anyone try to impress someone who couldnt be more apathetic towards you or ANYTHING you do?

another fine example is his Super car from dimension Q. i know i jest, but some of the horeshit he preaches is in his car you would think it was transmitted from a different planet. so anyway, because of the way shit happened at work i had no choice but to ride in his flying machine (hereafter referred to as his 'car', i dont want to insult it and bring down to the level of primitive motor vehicles like you or i are used to, but for brevity i will). i avoidied it at all costs but had to in this situation. and i have never seen a grown man so depressed as i did as a result of my complete lack of care for his vehicle. which i guess i understand. his car is literally the only thing hes proud of and he wants people to bend down and suck his cock everytime he sees it. well guess what poncho? not happenin. and it offends him that i dont care. im not a dick, i just dont care. so you would think hed realize i dont care and drop it but noooooooo that would be too goddamn simple. he has to bug me every ten minutes at work with all his 'accomplishments'.
Chief: He i tied my shoes today!
Me: (looks down) your right shoe is untied.
Chief: Um ... welllll.... hmmmm.. MY CAR IS BLUUUEEEEEEE!!!!?!!! (pouts for the rest of the day)

they say stupidity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result. so if you try 1000 times to impress me with your bullshit and it never works, does that mean youre completely brain dead buy the 1001st try? or are you just so full of shit that it severed the connection between your brain and your mouth? yeah, probably the second one.

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Daegu, Korea
Monday. 10.9.06 8:57 am
Shithole. I almost want to apologize to anyone living here but i won't because i hate this place. if you were to dig a hole, pour some cement over some wood in the hole, then shit in said hole, it would be daegu minus 6 million people. i dont even know where to start blasting this place because the things that were 'gross' when i got here at first, i see are the norm, so the really gross things are fucking disgusting. i.e. the girl being encouraged by her parents to piss on the sidewalk as opposed to going inside the stores they were in front of, is no longer gross as a result of living here.

dont get me wrong there are some cool things here, for instance i went down to the chu'sok festival along the river, and kids had fireworks and there were lights and for 5 bucks i bought a plastic sword that lights up. it was pretty cool ... except for the inescapable smell of urine everywhere. now i m not trying to bash koreans as a whole but i am honest to god amazed as to how 48 million people are still able to dodge deodorant. its really impressive. im drafting a letter to send to president Roh with my idea to air drop deodorant sticks country-wide because heres my idea: if you never use it, then you dont know how good it works.

and besides the stench, koreans are as racist and elitist as nazi's, again to the point its almost impressive. and my take is that if its ok for them to be racist as all hell to mee everyday, its ok if i stereotype them and bash them as a whole. and the racist thing doesnt bother me that much, its the stupid fucking college kids whining about both the US and ROK military being here. and i think i figured out the reason: the koreans that were alive before/during the Korean war know how shitty it would be in NK ran their shit, hence they love the US being here. but since these whiny, sniveling younger koreans think they know eveything and can do eveything better than the old people, they want to radically oppose their ideas. and by 'radically' i mean hold candle light vigils and hang up signs.

come the fuck on. if youre going to protest something i think you should meet 2 requirements: a) have SOMETHING VALID TO FUCKING PROTEST, and b) have a pair of balls and actually protest. if you were really THAT upset with whatever youre protesting i would thing baching a couple riot police in the face would be a small price to pay for youre ideals. its ironic to think how much fighting these 'pacifists' will do once they come under control of communist north korea. take away spikey hair gel and americanized hip hop clubs and these whiny shits will finally have something to protest and might actually do it right.

i want to move on but im still pissed about these cry carnivals which are dubbed 'protests'. i had the pleasure of visiting a "One Man Protest" here in daegu. that is verbatim what it was called and it really was one man protesting. and i gotta tell ya; one man crying in a bull horn is a sob story, not a protest. having nothing better to do than getting attention by crying in the streets in banwoldang is one thing, but then acting all noble and for the people makes you, and your people, look like bumbling idiots.

so i submit this to the powers that be: looking at how the troops want to go home, and these whinning fucks want us gone, we should leave. then both sides are happy and we dont have to worry about kias and hyundais breaking down in the states anymore because 3 days after we leave and kim jong-il finishes what kim il-sung started, you wont see many more of either shitty car coming out of the newly unified communist south korea. fuck korea.

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