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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Movie watching
Thursday. 10.29.15 10:01 am
I watched Jupiter Ascending on my laptop. It was a sci-fi fairytale but it was not well executed even though I like the story line where humans are farmed as some youthful essence or collagen for a more superior human race. Just like what you read about the Anunanki and the like. But the dialogue lines were horrible. I can't really follow those lines... and those superior human race siblings acting were horrible. And the protagonist can't stop having poor pick up lines with Channing Tatum. Stop tackling him la! The whole thing was not executed intelligently. The costumes and the setting were superb but then... what a waste of investment due to the poor execution. No wonder reviewers said it's a stupid movie.

Next movie I watched was Step Up All In. Another non-intelligent movie. The dance moves were not as interesting as part 1. Or rather the storyline is being recycled too many times that I get bored already. Part 1 was considered as a fresh idea. And part 2 was interesting too that it made people wanna feel like dancing too... The one I watched? I felt like fast forwarding the whole time!

Come on. Please don't treat the audience stupid.

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X here X there X gone
Sunday. 10.25.15 10:21 am
I recently been thinking back of my ex. I suddenly feel sad that the saying once lovers now strangers is true in my case. Before we were an item, we were good friends, but I chose to axe him from all communications when he said something I cannot forgive as a female. This song speaks it all.

Well, for now, I look forward to having a more meaningful relationship.

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Dream of him, again
Thursday. 10.15.15 8:42 am
Aww... This is interesting again.

I dreamed of Yamapi again with the same hairstyle in the video below. We were sitting on the same long table that can host 6 people - 3 on each side. There were 6 of us. He was sitting in the middle of the other side and I was sitting on the far left. I have not found a place to sit actually but it was weird to find everyone using fingers to eat. They are Japanese and I don't believe they used hand to eat but they are. And I boasted to myself that I will used Malaysia style to eat with finger. Oh, I can eat with fingers like the Malays and Indians do here. I do a pretty good job for a Chinese whose race does not use fingers.

But Yamapi looked hesitant in using fingers. He looked like a dainty figure amongst us. He looked like he was choosing his food. I could see green leaves in his plate. I went to take some foot from the buffet counter. The setting looked like we were eating in a nice environment park, and the other people were some crew members. I don't know what was my role. All I care was to eat the food with fingers!

And then suddenly, I woke up.

Damn it! I wanna a sequel!

I want to meet him in real life not dream!

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Can someone die further?
Monday. 10.12.15 7:55 pm
Mum was telling me about the latest effigy she saw during a friend's relative's wake. As you know, the Chinese burn stuff for the dead so the dead can live a comfortable live below. I know my dead grandma has lots of money, a house and a couple of maids. I once joked why don't we buy her a car? My aunt replied that she doesn't know how to drive. Ok. That makes sense.

Mum was telling me that the latest trend is to burn the iconic Bruce Lee as driver to the deceased. That was disturbing to me. How can you burn someone who is already dead to be someone else's driver? He is already dead and already below or above... and you want him to be someone's driver? I find it disrespectful and cruel. It's like we are cursing him again and again.

Sister joked that there will be too many Bruce Lee in the underworld. Where is the logic in that? And then all Bruce Lee fights to prove themselves? What a nightmare.

I believe what the seller is trying to do is... Do you guys have GPS? In Malaysia, we can get Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice to give GPS direction. I think this is what the seller trying to achieve similarly by using effigy.

Poor Bruce Lee.

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Wednesday. 10.7.15 11:11 am
Well, I have said to myself that I would work my ass of in October to finish up my literature review but I did the opposite. I did nothing except watching my anime diligently. And I could feel my inner self screaming to do something that would be beneficial for me in the future.

I totally agree except I am kinda lost in this world where society is so obsessed with mono-stuff - we have to be good in one thing at the expense of other things. I have so many passions. Can I be good in all of them? I can but I have to be good in one thing first. And then when some kids appear on tv that showcases their multi-talent, people would just go awe and comment why their kids are not like them from tv. Of course, you cannot expect kids to excel in one thing by restricting their interest.

I feel suffocated right now. But I still need to make a decision otherwise the Universe is not able to build a path for me. I believe in myself. I believe that I can be anything that I want in this life. I can do it!

Well, since you guys are already on my page, listen below leaving, alright?

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Regrets intermingling
Monday. 9.28.15 8:43 am
Lots of things happened in September.

I made a huge drama in my supervisor's room in order to get intermission from studies. I suddenly lost the interest in writing my thesis when I was once so fired up to do a research. Perhaps, the condition of my country makes me question how much can my research contribute to the country's well-being. The reply is nothing. The thesis is just to make myself happy, not anyone nor satisfy my salary scale. My supervisor winced when I said the course that I am taking does not and will not increase my salary at all. Don't believe? Try asking a Masters graduate when looking for a job. Even my senior who had the best thesis is out of job. Welcome to reality.

And then I should have bought ticket to attend my friend's wedding in Bangkok, but I didn't. Because I wanted to keep true to my words that I will not attend any weddings this year. I have several weddings to attend for 2015: Vietnam, Pakistan, Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, Vietnam/Tokyo, Sarawak. If only I could all, however, my pocket doesn't allow at all. I was so stressed in July that I almost borrow money from the bank to go for holiday, but at what cost? Even if I wanted to buy ticket to Bangkok, I seriously don't have the funds. It truly sucks. I feel more excruciating hurt when I saw my friend's wedding photos on FB. It's not about attending the wedding. It's about the other friends who attended the wedding. Every wedding of mine is a mini reunion for me and my friends which whom I may not even have the chance to see them again... And this seems to be the biggest mini reunion... ever! I miss everyone. And the groom and the bride are my good friends. Oh my god. What a regret I am experiencing now.

I am still stress and I wanna go somewhere for a break, but I really have no funds. No sugar daddy to boot. I tried asking for donations in my birthday wish list. Only a friend donated as a joke.

Oh well, then I shall just sleep.

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