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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

The Profile

Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. that of my father and his father before him
Location Altadena, CA
School. Other
» More info.
The World

The Link To Zanzibar's Past
This is my page in the beloved art community that my sister got me into:


Extra points for people who know what Samarinda is.
The Phases of the Moon Module
Croc Hunter/Combat Wombat
My hero(s)
Only My Favorite Baseball Player EVER

Aw, Larry Walker, how I loved thee.
The Schedule
M: Science and Exploration
T: Cook a nice dinner
Th: Parties, movies, dinners
F: Picnics, the Louvre
S: Read books, go for walks, PARKOUR
Su: Philosophy, Religion
The Reading List
This list starts Summer 2006
A Crocodile on the Sandbank
Looking Backwards
Wild Swans
Tales of the Alhambra (in progress)
Dark Lord of Derkholm
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
The Lost Years of Merlin
Harry Potter a l'ecole des sorciers (in progress)
Atlas Shrugged (in progress)
A Long Way Gone (story of a boy soldier in Sierra Leone- met the author! w00t!)
The Eye of the World: Book One of the Wheel of Time
From Magma to Tephra (in progress)
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Harry Potter 7
The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency
Introduction to Planetary Volcanism
A Child Called "It"
Is Multi-Culturalism Bad for Women?
Americans in Southeast Asia: Roots of Commitment (in progress)
What's So Great About Christianity?
Aeolian Geomorphology
Aeolian Dust and Dust Deposits
The City of Ember
The People of Sparks
Cube Route
When I was in Cuba, I was a German Shepard
The Golden Compass
Clan of the Cave Bear
The 9/11 Commission Report (2nd time through, graphic novel format this time, ip)
The Incredible Shrinking Man
New Moon
Breaking Dawn
Armageddon's Children
The Elves of Cintra
The Gypsy Morph
Animorphs #23: The Pretender
Animorphs #25: The Extreme
Animorphs #26: The Attack
Crucial Conversations
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
A Great and Terrible Beauty
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Dandelion Wine
To Sir, With Love
London Calling
Watership Down
The Invisible
Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Host
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Shadows and Strongholds
The Jungle Book
Beatrice and Virgil
The Help
Zion Andrews
The Unit
Quantum Brain
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
No One Ever Told Us We Were Defeated
Memento Nora
The Name of the Wind
The Terror
Tao Te Ching
What Paul Meant
Lao Tzu and Taoism
Libyan Sands
Sand and Sandstones
Lost Christianites: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew
The Science of God
Calculating God
Great Contemporaries, by Winston Churchill
City of Bones
Around the World in 80 Days, by Jules Verne
Stranger in a Strange Land
The Old Man and the Sea
Flowers for Algernon
Au Bonheur des Ogres
The Martian
The Road to Serfdom
De La Terre � la Lune (ip)
In the Light of What We Know
Devil in the White City
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Red Mars
How to Be a Good Wife
A Mote in God's Eye
A Gentleman in Russia
The Fatal Conceit: The Errors of Socialism
Seneca: Letters from a Stoic
The Juanes Module

Juanes just needed his own mod. Who can disagree.
Wednesday. 7.10.13 11:31 am
Wellllll tonight will be my first night without guests since June. I can sleep in my own room, in my own bed, I can take a shower with the door open, I can do whatever I want. I could even write that Nutang entry on existentialism that has been rattling around in my head.

For two nights, I will be blissfully alone-- after which I will have a guest again. But one that I adore, so it's fine.

So why did I decide to host a strategic board game night with 8 people tonight????????

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A Tad More Sweetness
Saturday. 6.29.13 3:45 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Wednesday. 6.26.13 2:02 pm
On a riverboat ride down the Seine with some British Mars Scientists.

M: I've finally thought of an English joke.
Me: Let's hear it.
M: I just made it up.
Me: Ok.
M: I think that tonight we have improved our relationship.
Me: ...
M: That wasn't funny?
Me: ...um...
M: I have another one. Tonight we have made a great friendship
M: Because we are on a ship. Non?

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Monday. 6.24.13 6:58 pm
Busy busy busy. Went to a church retreat this weekend. Talked some seriously deep philosophy, slept for about 24 hours.

British Guy: "Who was that one French guy?"
Me: "Descartes?"
British Guy: "Yeah."
Everyone else: "?!?!?!?!?"

Met my first Young Earth Creationist. The same British guy. A very knowledgeable guy, actually, but he gets his information from dubious sources. He tried to talk to me about the limitations of U-Pb dating, but I'm sorry son, I've DONE U-Pb dating. With a laser.

Today was a meeting for a cool mission that they're sending to Mars in 2016. We went out to dinner afterwards and I sat myself down next to the PIs of the major instrument. They were older than they looked so I got to hear a lot of great war stories. The best one was about how this french guy they knew used to carry a big old bronze bust of Lenin in his suitcase every time he came to Russia. It took everyone a while to figure out that the bust was hollow and he was stuffing it full of caviar right before he left Russia each time. The ratio of men to women at the meeting was about 6-1. At dinner it was more like 20-1.

Guy 1: "What are you going to do when you get your first marsquake?"
PI: "Analyze it, of course."
Guy 2: "Science paper! Bingo!"
PI: "Hopefully we'll get a magnitude 7 right after we land."
Guy 1: "You know that's not going to happen, you never get the big one right away."
Guy 3: "It's like dating... you never get the big thing right away. You have to spend a couple of months or years waiting..."
Guy 1: "Waiting and losing money!!!"
Guy 3: "...before you get what you want."
PI: "We can write a protocol for what we should do after the first marsquake."
Guy 1: "It is so sad, he has spent so many years without getting any marsquakes that he doesn't even remember how to do it anymore."

That part was kind of awkward. I was glad that the one American didn't say anything.

They advised me that I should start thinking of missions now because it took thirty years for many missions to go from the first proposal to actually flying. And then they could fail.

I only had 10 euros so I carefully choose a cheap meal and didn't have any drinks, appetizers, or dessert. 9 euros, perfect. Unfortunately, as I should have foreseen, when the bill came they decided to split it evenly. Which meant that I owed 27 euros. I think they noticed the look on my face, because they decided that there would be a "special price" for post-docs and students, which started at 20 euros but eventually made it to ten euros. Thank goodness.

My building changed the code for the door without telling me, so when I returned home at 11 pm, I was locked out. I tried to access my wifi using my netbook on the street but since I live on the 7th floor, it was out of range. I flipped through my mental Rolodex of people who could put me up for the night.... all of the ones who wouldn't be terribly put out were just terrible ideas. Finally a random guy from my building entered the door and I nabbed it before it closed. He told me the code. What a pal.

Tomorrow more meeting, a riverboat dinner cruise down the Seine with M and the rest of my new mission-to-Mars friends. Wednesday I leave at 6:25am for the Netherlands, where I'll be talking Mercurian volcanoes for the remainder of the week.

Saturday morning, return from the Netherlands.
Saturday evening, meet-up with the "Paris Adventurers Club". The Meet-Up is entitled "Pétanque-a-donk". I am going just because of the name of the meeting.

Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday of the next week: This dude I used to have a very slight recreational crush on for like two months during my sophomore year in college is coming to visit me. We're going to have dinner or something. He's a mathematician. Legit.

Wednesday, J, a (male) friend from Brown U arrives.
Wednesday night, Will is in town from la Bretagne. He wants to go for a drink with me and M. I'll bring J, of course.
Thursday night, the 4th of July, it's the graduation of an old family friend. I've been invited to dinner... do I bring J?
Friday/Sat/Sun... Dinner with the mayor of Greenwood Village. Do I bring J?
Friday... modeling. Do I bring J?
July 10th. J leaves.
July 12th. My college roommate comes!
July 13th. Modeling. I definitely bring her.
July 14th. Bastille Day (The French National Day). The Fireman's Ball. Hot firemen are already all over town selling tickets. I definitely bring her.
July 18th. My college roommate leaves. Tragedy of all Tragedies.

I suggested offhandedly to Will that we go on the Trans-Siberian railroad. He's totally into it. I don't know. I've never really taken that long of a vacation before when I wasn't going home. Would it be sketchy to go on a long vacation to Russia with a random guy? I mean, sketchier than going camping for a weekend with two random guys? Maybe I can convince him to go to Turkey with me instead. Or to Majorca to ride the ostriches.

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Eating Ice Cream Alone
Tuesday. 6.18.13 6:03 pm
It's midnight.

The Eiffel Tower is sparkling.

My proposal isn't finished. I have until Friday, but I was hoping to finish it before then.

I was craving Ben and Jerry's. I shouldn't have eaten it before, with M. It awakened some kind of latent Ben and Jerry's hunger that had been buried deep inside of me. Chocolate is all I crave these days-- the darker the better.

I went to three different stores to find some. It was 10:30 pm. Finally I had to go to the actual Ben and Jerry's store, which is a minute's walk from my doorstep. A dangerous location. I asked for a pint of whatever they had.

They had some flavor with chocolate cows in it.

Fork it over, pal.

Did I want a bag?


It's to conserve it.

Listen, man, it doesn't matter. I'm going to eat it right away. Fucking cow ice cream's not going to make it across the threshold into my house.

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The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
Friday. 6.14.13 5:00 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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The Ever Widening Gyre
Tuesday. 6.11.13 5:11 pm
I've kicked into full job-getting gear. I literally just wrote an email to the head of communications and public outreach at ESA asking him for a job. Hey, might as well start at the VERY TOP, right????

Actually I gave a talk at a citizen space conference hosted by ESA a few weeks back and the head of communications for ESA was at the conference. He tracked down M, asked if we were colleagues (why yes, that is what we are), and gave him his card to give to me. He said he liked my talk and that my English was excellent and he wanted to know if I'd be interested in doing some communications outreach for ESA. I said yes, and he said he'd be in touch. So I thought about it for a few days, and then wrote him back and added that if he knew of any opportunities at ESA in communications, my current contract was ending in November. BAM. We'll see what happens. My English is excellent--- I've been practicing it for a long time.

I'm also writing a bunch of grants, as I said before, but I'm rolling closer and closer to actually submitting one. Terror.

I applied for a faculty position at MIT. Because... why not?

I'm going to ask some people in Berlin for a job too. Because BERLIN.

But there's still a high probability that I'll move to Italy.

I sent emails to all my friends asking them for examples of various successful proposals and budgets they've submitted. Right now I'm getting by with a little help from my friends, this is true.

Last Thursday I had a wicked pinched nerve of some kind. The pain was so terrible that I couldn't bend over or pick anything up with my left hand. There wasn't a single position in which I was comfortable. I had to wake up early that day to go to a middle school to teach little bilingual middle schoolers about what it was like to be a space scientist. The middle schoolers were awesome. They all sat in rapt attention and then at the end they all had a million questions. Standing in front of them was like being in my qualifying exams all over again--- they asked questions on every subject from conspiracy theories to philosophical questions to Kepler's laws and the Deccan basalt traps. I gave one talk about how scientists work in Antarctica (to the 8th graders), then I gave a talk about the planets and how scientists study them using light (to the 7th and 6th graders). It was a very full day, but very rewarding. The 8th graders were learning about stomata in leaves, which was a huge blast from the past. As I walked around the school I was like a minor celebrity and I had kids coming up all day with more questions. My pinched nerve still hurt like a bitch, but while I was presenting at least I could forget about it.

I basically learned that if you are feeling right awful and you have a pinched nerve, you should just forget about it and wear heels and give presentations all day, and then follow that up by going hiking and camping in the wilderness all weekend, because PAIN IS IN YOUR MIND.


Him: I'm pretty much done with my work today, I think I'm going to leave.
Me: Ok.
Him: Unless you're going to leave soon.
Me: I was thinking I'd leave in like 20 minutes.
Him: Ok.

Twenty minutes later we leave. I kind of assumed that he meant that he wanted to hang out or something, but as it turns out he just waited 20 minutes so that we could walk together during the 3 minutes it takes to get to the metro.

Do I really have to leave France?

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The Origins of The Mime
Monday. 6.10.13 4:04 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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