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Memores acti prudentes futuri

It's easier to complain
but there is beauty in the mundane
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Too much dubstep
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Last night, I attended what I'm fairly certain was my first rave. It was actually pretty fun! There were lots of people dressed up in interesting ways, and the music was acceptable to dance to. Mostly.

Beforehand, we went and got dinner at this vegan soul food place. It was pretty awesome. I guess the cuisine was like, cajun style? But vegan. We got the "everything plate", which had fried okra, red beans and rice (cost extra), collard greens, corn bread, lentils, mac and cheese, fried tofu, barbeque tofu, potato salad, yams, and... this other bean thing. I found out that fried okra tastes basically like fried pickles, except not sour. It was quite enjoyable. :3 Too bad the restaurant is in Oakland... SAN JOSE HAS NOTHING GOOD IN IT. >:0

When we got to the actual music event, which we didn't know was a rave at first, it was pretty empty. They wouldn't let us go back outside, though, unless we paid the... bouncer dudes. Jasper tried to say one of us left our medication in the car (real smooth, man...), but they didn't fall for it (who would?). Eventually it picked up, though, and there were enough people for dancing not to be weird. They played WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much dubstep. Now, I can handle dubstep in short spurts, but really... new dubstep all sounds the same. Old dubstep is more individualistic, at least. The new stuff has the same filthy dropping beat in every song. It's annoying.

I danced in public for the first time since seventh grade! Chances are I looked totally spastic, but that's fine. Not like anyone was watching me anyway. Hopefully.

No pictures, I'm afraid. I looked at the Facebook page for the event though and this girl posted the pictures she took. Link is HERE if you're interested. I gotta say, the lights didn't look nearly as cool in real life as they do in her pictures. It just looked kinda weird with the people twirling their fingers around...

My voice was hoarse afterwards/today from all the shouting I had to do just to talk to Angie and Jasper. Also, I was slightly deafened by the loud music. My hearing seems to have returned to normal today, though. (Yay)

I would totally go to another rave! It was lots of fun except for the excessive amount of dubstep, and I probably got at least a little exercise, jumpin' around like that. My feet/calves are sore today, but somehow I survived with no blisters. :D


Today I volunteered at the Green Festival in San Francisco. I was helping out with the bike valet. Basically we just parked people's bikes and watched them while their owners went to the festival. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. I was there for like... five hours. :|

BUT! I got free admission to the festival, as well as a free t-shirt. And I bought some things! Here's a list of the loot I had by the end of my moseying:

-Various samples of Dr. Bronner products
-Tiny samples of shampoo, conditioner, and lotion from... some other people
-A coupon for $1 off Mamma Chia drinks (they were weird tasting... but they grew on me after my third sample)
-A rainbow headband/bandanna/scrunchie
-Giraffe socks
-A PETA recipe pamphlet
-Random business cards

I also ate lots of organic/fair trade chocolate samples and a potato spinach knish. BURNING HOT DELICIOUSNESS.

Walking the few blocks to CalTrain kind of sucked, since my legs hurt, but the ride home was fine. I had my iPod, so the guys near me who talked about Yu-Gi-Oh! the entire time didn't bother me. They reminded me strongly of my brother's friends, though...

Finally, I'm going hiking tomorrow with my friend (I guess?) from my ES class last quarter! Alice was invited but she will be hiking with someone else, somewhere else, unfortunately. :|

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What I learned today
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Prostitution is legal in Nevada.

MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION EVER!? I guess, if you've really hit a financial dead end.............

Other than that though, my Women in Crime book is boring as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

You get the point.

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Just two more days...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
And the first week of school shall be finished.

And then there are like... ten more. Or something. I dunno.

Dance-errific, guys.

Wish I had those kinds o' moves.

I succumbed to a nap earlier today, which is why I am still on the ol' computer at 11:10 PM, when I SHOULD be in bed so I can get a nice eight hours of sleep in before I have to wake up at 6:45 AM. Man, I used to be so GOOD at this in high school. College, St. John's, ya screwed me over, man.

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Before I drop off
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Well, it's only 5:23 PM, but I'm super sleepy. It's this getting-up-at-6:45-AM business. Going from "waking up at 2 PM" to that is... a bit rough.

I'm doing okay though! Unlike some, I can weather it without the use of caffeine.

Yay, relatively drug-free lifestyle... (Still gotta take a Zyrtec for allergies...)

My dream last night was quite a wild ride. I will summarize it in bullet points for you.

-Varsha's dad had discovered all her fancy underwear and destroyed it
-She came to me, very upset, and told me the story
-My favorite pair of underwear was on the floor, so she picked it up and put it on (she was NOT naked though; people can get dressed in my dreams without undressing first)
-I observed, kind of uncomfortable with what was happening, but didn't say anything
-I told her we would go to Victoria's Secret and get her some new fancy underthings
-Asked my mom where Victoria's Secret was, because the ones I knew weren't big enough, and I was sure they were having a sale
-She told us there was a good one by "Off the Ramp"
-We went there
-An old lady was the proprietor
-She was sort of a cantankerous sort
-I somehow murdered her
-We dragged the body to the back room and didn't know what to do with it
-It turned out that day was her birthday, and she had a hot date with an old dude
-He came around looking for her
-We hid until he left
-I suddenly had the brilliant realization that everybody would be tricked into thinking everything was perfectly normal if we went to the parking structure and played tag
-We did so
-Fast forward several years
-I had apparently taken over the store and turned it into a liquor shop
-The body was also gone
-My two bored looking teenage employees were wearing red aprons as we stood in the back room
-I told them they were lucky that I was passing on the store to them, because when I was their age, I had to start from scratch with my establishment, and it was hard work
-Then we had a party where all the guests were large fat black women

I think it's kind of amusing that "starting a business" equates to "murdering an old woman and stashing her body in the back room" in my subconscious.

Despite getting sleepy towards the end, I would say I had a good day! There was the dream, and class went well. I went to Jamba Juice and tried one of their new fruit/veggie smoothies (it was okay... I can make better ones at home for much cheaper). I have a break from 10:20 - 12:30 PM every day, so there wasn't much for me to do but wander. I had anticipated this, and brought a book to pass the time, but wasn't sure where to go to read. Since I had a smoothie, I couldn't go to the library (and the library is kind of big and impersonal anyway...) and I don't like reading outside (lighting is too bright, plus all the distractions...). I settled on the Kirsch Center, which is where I had my environmental studies class last quarter.

Well, I hadn't been there long before I saw the dude I was sorta befriending from the ES class. Cement plant guy, if you prefer to remember him that way. We chatted for a bit while he checked on his class (which turned out to be online), then he suggested we go for a bike ride. I had nothing better to do, so I agreed. I was a little worried he was going to be like, a hardcore cyclist, but we actually went pretty slowly, so it turned out fine.

As we rode along, we saw a sign that said "Blackberry Farm". He asked me if I'd been there, and I said no, so we decided to check it out. Very disappointingly, it was not a farm with blackberries. It turned out to be... kinda like a country club. We rode down a paved path and stopped at a trail along the side. I guess he has a penchant for... breaking and entering abandoned buildings, so that was the only reason he pointed it out. XD

We parked our bikes in the grass and walked around on the trail for awhile (and passed an elderly bird watcher and some wild bunnies) and talked some more. Hell if I remember what we talked about, though.

Eventually we decided to go back, and ended up sitting on some tanbark next to a walkway at school. Well, he sat, I stood. I didn't want to sit on the tanbark, but he let me sit on his jacket, so that was nice. Very chivalrous. :P We might hang out again sometime, who knows!

Oh yeah, and the other guy I was hanging out with... uhh... Sunday night he called me to tell me he got me some gifts. It was kinda weird. On Monday we hung out and he gave me the stuff... it was an Uglydoll keychain (neon orange) and a knockoff Uglydoll. He told me he thought I'd like them.

I mean, it's the thought that counts, yeah, but... really... it was such a... not entirely pleasant surprise... I feel like you save the gift-giving for friends (I don't consider us close enough for this to be okay) and... well... romantic interests. And I DON'T want this to go down the latter road. Staying away from romance has dramatically improved my overall mood, it seems like.

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Makeup, you say? [2P]
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Sunday, April 3, 2011
I am not hungry, but I have this compulsion to just stuff myself until I throw up.


Also my budgies have been doing this thing where one hits on the other, and the receiver of the affection is totally not into it, and then after some time they switch off.

So you got Cici makin' a move on Romeo, and he's like "ehhhhhhhhhhhhh" when she's all up in his stuff.

Then Romeo is prancing around the cage being cheerful and getting all flirty and basically shoving his face in hers and she just sits there stoically.

Those guys... I... don't... I don't even know.

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Discussion on life decisions [DP]
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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So how 'bout that weather
Friday, April 1, 2011
I'm not playing any April Fool's tricks on anyone, but it sure feels like the weather is trying to play one on me.

"Hey, it's summer! Have some warm sunny days to go with your shorts and t-shirts!"

And then...



Yeah, life continues as usual.


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