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green grass
Monday. 8.30.04 6:40 pm
they say the grass is greener on the other side but i heard somethin todaythat kind of bothered me. i was in line at walmart and this broad was talkin to her friend about the olsen twins and being anorexic and the lady was like 'yeah i wish thats what i had so i wouldnt be this big' so we're at the point where we're jealous of each others diseases. unfortunately its the whole desire for what you cant have. sure his grass looks green but once you get over there he has as much dog shit in his yard as you do, if not more. i say, if my grass isnt green enough, ill chem-lawn it or take better care of it or whatever to make my grass greener. fuck other peoples grass. i fell vitcim to it with my car. for whatever reason when i had my civic, id see eclipses and be like wow those cars rock i want one. then i got one (in essence making my grass greener) and i hate that car. ill never buy another one of those. and i want my civic back so bad. so naturally im checkin the auctions and crap for a civic to replace my car. i think that even just working towards having greener grass is so much better than wishing your grass was as green as his. or you could invade his grass and kick him out, but then youll do to his grass whatever you did to your grass and make it as bad as the grass you just left. so instead of one crackhead, a brown yard, one good guy, and a green yard, now there is one crackhead and 2 brown yards. and isnt that human nature? like agent smith (best character ever) said 'you are a virus on this planet' because as soon as you go to his yard and start turning it brown, the brown grass you left will start regrowing without your interference and be green. thats when the real irony comes. since the grass is greener on the other side, then you leave your side to go where its greener, then you look back on your side and now that side is greener.

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End of Days
Sunday. 8.29.04 12:49 am
fantastic movie. im definately no religious buff so i look at the bible as a book of stories. and this movie has so many references and cool shit to go along with it. jericho being the main guy is all fucked up and ends up killing the devil more or less. the one scene that stands out the most to me is when he goes into satans lair and the guy at the door can see inside him and sees the hate and vengence in his heart which wrath is definately one of the 7 sins (which has more irony because the bible always talks about the wrath of god but thats a different subject) anyway this dude who is pretty much a warrior for god has all this evil inside. which is more of that idea of balance. you cant be completely good or completely evil. its also awesome because jericho is also the name of that city in the bible that had huge thick walls filled with evil people in the city and they thought the walls would never be broken, but according to the story the 'good' isrealites knocked down the walls and the goodness got in. which is the best name for jericho in the movie cause hes the same thing, hes strong and what have you so he keeps his evil inside, but when it counted the good got in and he killed lucifer. fantastic. plus you cant argue with a movie where one guy puches a hole in another guys head, and when dude shoots rockets at the devil. you get the deep philisophical/religious goodness, plus rockets. cant go wrong.

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Saturday. 8.28.04 12:27 pm
Heres something eles id like to event, or just buy once it is invented. you know how they have hearing aids and they stay in your ear so you can hear. it would rock if you could have an earpiece like that which could receive wireless transmission from a walkman and be wireless head phone. i always run and work with head phones on and the wire gets in the way no matter what. you put the wire behind your back and something always grabs it. and you start sweating profusely and the cord gets all wet and sticks to you. plus, if you have the earpiece then its not obvious that youre listening to music and you can look someone right in the face and ignore them so good. i also want to make a remote for the car stereo, thats like the remote you stick on the steering wheel, except im a stick guy so my hand is always on the shifter. so if i made a remote that would screw on in place of the normal shift knob, or just made a screw on shift knob with the remote built in that would rock. because lets face it; not only is a remote for the car stereo the epitome of lazy, im too lazy to even reach for that remote.

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dreams in digital
Tuesday. 8.24.04 5:45 pm
so orgy's song (fantastic by the way) raises some philosophical questions as i listen to it. "shes lost in coma where its beautiful" makes ya think, when youre in a coma maybe all you do is dream, and those dreams could be the offspring of your imagination which could place you living in paradise. so maybe if someones in a coma or is like a vegetable but all they do is dream, that could be the best life ever. but on the same token maybe all your conciesce conjures up is horrifying nightmares and at that point you are living in a virtual hell. whne youre freaming you cant tell if its real or not, all you do is feel. so if all you do is dream, then you are always feeling either that pleasure or pain or what have you and your reality is based on that. which is like the whole matrix theme that we are all dreaming but dont know it. thrad and i were talkin about this a while ago, that maybe dreams are a part of our brain that we cant unlock. we only use a small percentage of our brains and maybe our dreams are like a peephole into what is really up there. like a preview to a movie. maybe our dreams are a small glimpse into the future. have you ever had deja vu and thought you saw this thing before in a dream. well what if our brains have the ability to tell us what will happen and we can prepare for what will happen. you dream, and see a small sliver of that future, and if dreams are a preview of what we can do, than maybe we have the ability to see our own future. but what if those dreams that dont make sense and you cant explain are a vision of someone elses future? you would never know because you arent that person so you didnt see it in the 'real' world. but has anyone ever told you a story of something that happened that day but you already knew even though you werent there? fun stuff. maybe the dream world is the world we are actually in but our brains arent smart enough to see what is actually there. only when we sleep and have no control over our thoughts can we see that world. which is why i think dreams are like looking though the keyhole and we can only see a small percentage of whats really there. and then the idea of telepathy comes up. have you ever become lucid in a dream? thats where you realize youre in a dream but instead of waking up you control that dream, and bend the laws of the real world because you can in that world. i have become lucid a handful of times and the first thing i always do is fly. everytime. so what if that other 90% of our brain we cant use know gives us those abilities. what if then we're living in what seems like that dreamworld where we can take the enviornment around us and shape it to what we like. and how would we even unlock it? is there something in our dreams that we have to get to kind of stay in that world? and by unlocking the rest of our brains wouldnt that be the same as staying in that world? or would we slowly gain the rest of our brains by evolution? we can do alot more mentally then the cavemen and that was only 10,000 years. how much smarter will we be in 1,000,000 years? or what if there is some medicine or practice that we can do to open that? and im not talking about these bullshit self-help whackos that say you can open your mind and do tarot or what the fuck ever. im not impressed that you opened your mind into a way to scam the gullible. but im talking about reaching that genuine enlightenment. did you ever have a dream where you didnt know where you were but you have that feeling that you shouldnt be there and you wake up? what if we stay there and find someway into that world. i think our dreams are like some kind of (and i hate to sound like a bad sci fi movie) alter dimension or something that we can gain the ability to travel back and forth freely? maybe lucidity is the key to do that. now i see why people smoke pcp.

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oscar the grouch
Monday. 8.23.04 7:19 pm
oscar is everywhere. he was a green guy that was basically trash and he talked. and everywhere you look someone is talking trash. politicians are the worst at this. but its always someone trying to gain attention by stepping on someone else. i dont care about people having a low opinion of me, but when they make shit up and tell it to other people who dont even know me, then they meet me and have this notion of who i am which is way off because someone spreading shit, i hate it. and i hate when people talk trash to me about someone else. i never believe it. i dont discredit its likeliness but i dont jump ship because of someone talking about someone else. and the worst thing is when someones talking shit on someone else, and you KNOW they're making it up, but the talker gets mad at you for not agreeing or chiming in and talking trash. come on there Captain middle school. ill make fun of people more than half the population combined, but either its based on something true, or im making a ridiculous story like "essam has a horny elephant that he feeds monkey toes to" or something. and usually such things are said in that persons presence. but alot of times theres a perfect chance to make fun of someone else based on the conversation at hand, and ill do that all the time, but only about things that that person knows im making fun of. like if im driving with jen and we see a crackhead on the corner, ill say "look its Jason" because he knows i call him a crackhead. i dont even call him by his name anymore, i just refer to him as "crack" its so funny, everytime i call him i leave a message like 'whats goin on, Crack? hey when youre done heating up the spoon, but down the baking powder and call me" (that being the process of making crack)and its harmless fun, because he'll do the same thing. except he really does smoke crack so his messages dont make a stab in the dark towards making sense. its the pure making up stories and crap that i hate. or when someone is talking trash on someone by saying a story involing that person and what they did. its so funny to hear that story and be like 'yeah, i would have done the same thing' and the person talking smack gets all pissed. i love it. i love someone acting 8 and getting mad over something an 8 year old would. "no brian, you're supposed to hate him too. LOVE ME!!!1!!" fuck you. while youre trying to make something up to give me an impression of someone else youre just giving me a true impression of who you are. and this isnt talking trash, but i love when someone tells me how they did a job in a manner that the third person is retarded. and im like 'yeah thats the way youre supposed to do it' making the person telling me the retard. i dont know why i love that so much. i guess i hate the behind the back stuff so much that i love defending the person being trashicized. making up words is fun.

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Sunday. 8.22.04 9:14 pm
So we were talkin about mexican mary today and his idea that the US should be the world police and i think hes lookin at it the wrong way. a cop is someone that 'protects and serves' the people who pay taxes that pay his salary. so essentially the people pay for that cop to do his job. if we would get paid or some kind of compensation for being the world police that would be a different thing. another problem is that a cop could be called in for something dumb like a dead cat while a block up the street someones getting robbed and shot. we would have to pay attention to dumb things that arent our job and really none of our business. plus i think the fundamental idea that we cant properly police our own country means we shouldnt police the world. we would confiscate weapons from other countries and keep them like 'crooked cops' confiscate drugs and use them. but im no political major. i dont even vote. and that is because i dont follow politics. its not that i dont care, i just learned to sieve out bullshit when i hear it. thus i could listen to politicians talk all day and none of it would stick, so i dont bother. and because i dont follow, i shoulndt have any say in the elections. picking a politician or political party is like picking a religion. i think you have to thouroughly understand the philosophies involved and agree with them all to sign up. even if you believe 99% of something a politician says you would still be voting for that 1% you dont agree with. for example, say you like kerry. and you agree with everything he says (which never happens) but he says he likes abortion and you dont. you would still vote for kerry, which means you are voting for abortion which you dont like. and i know it is physially impossible for any humans to agree 100% but thats why i think we shouldnt govern each other sometimes. especially the most sneaky assholes ever. these are my political views which are exactly why i dont vote. and heres something distrubing i saw on MTV (as if i didnt hate it enough already) theres this guy, putting a premade grilled cheese in the toaster oven. then he says "during this time you could have registered to vote" or some such crap. then he burns the premade grilled cheese. thats ridiculous. if you are that dumb that you cant make regular girlled cheese, let alone premade grilled cheese you just set in an oven, then you should have absolutely no say in who the next most powerful man in the world would be. none. there was another commercial not too much later with some broad saying "i dont know what the reform party is, i dont know wat electoral college is, i dont know what senate does, but i know what george bush is doing is wrong and so im going to vote" no bitch. how do you have any idea what hes doing if you dont follow politics at all? you have no idea. you just heard some other hippie whinning about having to get a job and blaming it on bush and so you sided with him against the current president, which is no way to have a political outlook. you shouldnt vote. i think, to vote you have to pass a small test about the election, just pretty much a few questions about the candidates and their views. because if you cant answer them, then you dont truly know who youre voting for. and the idea of democracy is that we pick the people we want to be in office, which means you have to know whos running and what theyre saying. yes its your right to vote, but then its not your right to bitch about how bad everything is when the person YOU VOTED FOR is in office. people think that just because they have a right means they must act it out. yes rights are awesome, thats what makes our country so great, but we have to be logical with them. dont go buy a gun just because you have the right to. yes you have the right to free speech but you also have the god given right to be considerate so try to use both. we all have the right to be intelligent but i dont see everyone flocking to act out that one.

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