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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

The Profile

Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. that of my father and his father before him
Location Altadena, CA
School. Other
» More info.
The World

The Link To Zanzibar's Past
This is my page in the beloved art community that my sister got me into:


Extra points for people who know what Samarinda is.
The Phases of the Moon Module
Croc Hunter/Combat Wombat
My hero(s)
Only My Favorite Baseball Player EVER

Aw, Larry Walker, how I loved thee.
The Schedule
M: Science and Exploration
T: Cook a nice dinner
Th: Parties, movies, dinners
F: Picnics, the Louvre
S: Read books, go for walks, PARKOUR
Su: Philosophy, Religion
The Reading List
This list starts Summer 2006
A Crocodile on the Sandbank
Looking Backwards
Wild Swans
Tales of the Alhambra (in progress)
Dark Lord of Derkholm
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
The Lost Years of Merlin
Harry Potter a l'ecole des sorciers (in progress)
Atlas Shrugged (in progress)
A Long Way Gone (story of a boy soldier in Sierra Leone- met the author! w00t!)
The Eye of the World: Book One of the Wheel of Time
From Magma to Tephra (in progress)
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Harry Potter 7
The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency
Introduction to Planetary Volcanism
A Child Called "It"
Is Multi-Culturalism Bad for Women?
Americans in Southeast Asia: Roots of Commitment (in progress)
What's So Great About Christianity?
Aeolian Geomorphology
Aeolian Dust and Dust Deposits
The City of Ember
The People of Sparks
Cube Route
When I was in Cuba, I was a German Shepard
The Golden Compass
Clan of the Cave Bear
The 9/11 Commission Report (2nd time through, graphic novel format this time, ip)
The Incredible Shrinking Man
New Moon
Breaking Dawn
Armageddon's Children
The Elves of Cintra
The Gypsy Morph
Animorphs #23: The Pretender
Animorphs #25: The Extreme
Animorphs #26: The Attack
Crucial Conversations
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
A Great and Terrible Beauty
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Dandelion Wine
To Sir, With Love
London Calling
Watership Down
The Invisible
Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Host
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Shadows and Strongholds
The Jungle Book
Beatrice and Virgil
The Help
Zion Andrews
The Unit
Quantum Brain
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
No One Ever Told Us We Were Defeated
Memento Nora
The Name of the Wind
The Terror
Tao Te Ching
What Paul Meant
Lao Tzu and Taoism
Libyan Sands
Sand and Sandstones
Lost Christianites: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew
The Science of God
Calculating God
Great Contemporaries, by Winston Churchill
City of Bones
Around the World in 80 Days, by Jules Verne
Stranger in a Strange Land
The Old Man and the Sea
Flowers for Algernon
Au Bonheur des Ogres
The Martian
The Road to Serfdom
De La Terre � la Lune (ip)
In the Light of What We Know
Devil in the White City
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Red Mars
How to Be a Good Wife
A Mote in God's Eye
A Gentleman in Russia
The Fatal Conceit: The Errors of Socialism
Seneca: Letters from a Stoic
The Juanes Module

Juanes just needed his own mod. Who can disagree.
Tuesday. 7.20.04 12:08 am
Today a young sparrow flew into the warehouse and tried to eat a little piece of fertilizer off the floor. They are little orange glassy spheroids, and they are all over the dock these days of fertilizer mobilization. He was clumsy and silly and didn't run away when I came to see what he had in his mouth. Finally he skittered away across the slick floor and fell right off the side off the dock onto the asphalt. I told him to drop that fertilizer if he knew what was good for him and he finally did, chirping merrily although no one was answering, until finally I had to go back inside and he walked/flew back under a dropped trailer to chatter with a dour and impatient adult. That must have been one of the dumbest, clumsiest little birds I have ever seen. And also the one that I had most desired to see again.
Maybe my little darling wasn't killed after all.

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Sunday. 7.18.04 1:30 am
I think She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named may have killed my little clumsy bird.

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Sunday. 7.18.04 1:12 am
People tend to remember different sorts of thing more vividly than others. Some people remember the best steak they've ever had, and where, and exactly why it was wonderful and how it tasted, but they might not be able to remember with whom they ate it or why they went there in the first place. I remember every soccer field I've ever played on. I also remember the times when I've seen the very best stars.
The stars in the Rockies are amazing. Once or twice my dad woke me up and we went outside to watch the meteor showers- there's little I'd rather do than watch a meteor shower- when the Leonid shower came Andy Lin encouraged us all to go out and Ann's sister brought hot chocolate and it was beautiful.
Once we lay on the hood of my dad's old Toyota where the engine was still warm and just watched it seemed for hours. When I used to go to tae kwon doe I'd spend a lot of time lying on that car hood staring up there, into the Heavens. More often than not, depending on the time of year, I'd see at least one falling star

When I went sea kayaking in the Channel Islands, I saw some of the most amazing stars I've ever seen in my life. They were brilliant, infinite, sparkling, breathtaking- everywhere. The Milky Way arched across the sky and you could actually see it as an arm of a galaxy as supposed to a smudge in the darkness. The first night we slept up on the cliff, and after watching the most amazing sunset in my life sending dusky rays of light across the shimmering sea and turning the other islands to fire and ash before my eyes, the stars came out. We were an hour's speed boat ride across the Channel and none of the islands had electricity. The moon had not risen yet. I had some pains in my chest as I lay in my sleeping bag and I imagined that this was my very last day on Earth, and when everyone awoke the next morning I would be dead. As I lay speculating this disaster, I realized that to die on this perfect island, among these fascinating new people, after that perfect sunset, beneath these breathtaking stars... wouldn't be too bad of a way too go after all.

But then, I hadn't been kayaking yet... I haven't been to Africa or Asia... my parents deposit for my tuition at college probably couldn't be redeemed... it would put a bit of a damper on the rest of the student's OA Adventure... so I figured maybe I shouldn't die without meeting all the people that I was going to meet in college. Not that dying or not dying is my choice. So I said a prayer and made my peace with God and told Him that whatever He thought was best was fine with me.

It was a beautiful morning.

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Wednesday. 7.14.04 10:13 pm
My job is rather strange, if you think about it. What a weird job I have. Like the other day we were happy that a truckload of drums of glue never came in because that meant we had more room for the dog food boxes that had come in earlier. hmm. drums of glue? Never have the same day around that looney bin. Today I told one of the drivers that I didn't want him to bring me dog food anymore, that I wanted something yummy instead, so when he came back he said that he'd brought me chocolate. That is.... a whole truckload of Nestle wrappers! After that I stacked a bunch of sewer man-hole ladder steps and moved around some sump pumps.

How would you feel about eating those Rolos if you knew that their wrapper was right next to a bunch of sump pans in its previous life! how about a Nu-Go Nutrition bar that was chilling out next to the cement pigment and driveway salt? Mwahahahaha. I got to finally try a Nu-Go bar. They sell them at Costco. I would recommend the Chocolate Banana ones but not the Chocolate Blast. What if I told you that the American-made motorscooter you are buying was actually made in China, made into an American bike by razoring out the "Made in China" part and subsequently buried behind a pallets and pallets of cat food boxes before finally being sold to you!

Yesterday I bumped this truck when I was putting a dock plate in and this little baby bird fell down from above right under my forklift wheel. I slammed on the brakes and herded the little fellow towards the exit (he had wings and feathers and could hop with them, but he couldn't fly yet and still had his wide baby mouth). So he hopped around clumsily until he fell between the dock and the truck under the truck, so I went to see if he was ok. He was a little sluggish so I tried to scare him to make sure he hadn't broken anything and he skittered about on his too-large feet and wedged himself under the truck tire to hide, beak first. Knowing that any weight on the truck about would surely crush him and that Smitty was about to come along and drive his clamp in there, I ushered him out from beneath the wheel and he hopped crazily into the grass where there was an adult sparrow chirping shrilly and hopefully she was his mother. She was very nervous and urgent, but the little man himself was quite happy and was chirping merrily all the way through his crazy ordeal. I'm not sure he'll make it, as clumsy as he is, but if you ever got any points in the animal world for being cute and good-natured, he would come out on top. I wish I could have scooped him up and made him mine, but as any republican will tell you, sometimes the best way you can help someone succeed is by leaving him alone! (especially if you smell like human being and his mother doesn't like that smell!)

one sighting among many!

I got stuck in a rail car!

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The Basement
Monday. 7.12.04 10:34 pm
I love my basement. Every time I go down there it smells like Kid Pix. Ah, but Kid Pix is a computer game, and so therefore has no smell, you say, you clever thing, you. But when I was younger I used to go down there during the summer and play Kid Pix to my heart's content, back when there was no warehouse and no summer reading and no worries at all.
So whenever I smell that summery basementy smell, it immediately makes me recall Kid Pix. Smell is my strongest memory-sense, as they say is usually the case with most people, so when I smell an old smell that I hadn't been around for a long time, the memory comes back with such force that I am completely transported to that time and place long ago. So it is with my basement.
I used to spend a lot of time down there, doing all kinds of various and sundry things. I used to do my homework down there, and I used to close the door softly behind myself and then throw my back pack down the first flight of stairs and I'd throw myself down after it, and I'd hit the turn in the stairs with a WHAM! and then I'd pretend that I just woke up from being unconcious and I'd pretend I didn't know where I was and sometimes my leg would be broken and sometimes my arm or collar bone and I'd discover it as I was trying to get up to look around at this strange new place. I'd have to favor it and try to not use it as I levered my tired body enough to look around. Sometimes it was a prison, and I'd run to the top of the stairs just to pretend that the door was locked and there was no way out. I'd pretend to pound on it, but not really because then someone in the house might have actually heard me and come to see what I was doing and there was no good way to explain that ... . Sometimes I'd pretend that I'd been transported into another world where I had spent many years and had many adventures and then suddenly, inexplicably, I was back in my old childhood basement and no time had gone by at all, like in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. If this was the case I would see my backpack on the ground beside me and I'd go through everything inside like I hadn't seen it in a million years. My old stapler! My old desk, new again! I would have completely forgotten how to do complex division, of course, because no one uses that in real life, but I'd have an entire assignment on it that... my god! was it 1999! I was in highschool! It was due tomorrow! Then I sit at the desk and do my homework and marvel at how I still remembered My Antonia even though I had only half read it many years and many memories before. If it was the prison scenario, I would get bored of shouting, "I'm innocent!" and I'd wander down the stairs to see what the deal was. There I would see that I was being well kept, there was a piano and a foosball table, and I'd tinker with these before I discovered the backpack- which was full of history assignments and science worksheets that some lazy student (who could it be? the last inmate?) had never done. Knowing that I was going to be here for a while, and enchanted that I knew all of the answers as if I had just been studying this stuff that very day (how convenient!) I would occupy myself by doing the student's homework for him or her.
Sometimes I'd lug my dad's legal dictionary into the basement and pretend that I was afraid to open it because it was dangerous. Instead, I'd run my hand along the swirls that the pages made when the book was closed and pretend that the magic was tempting me to open the book... it was irresistable... I must open it! BUt NO. I put it away. My will was stronger than that!
le sigh. I never pretend like that anymore.
Ah the basement. Cool- musty- strange dead bugs in dusty corners. You can hang up a Sky Chair under the deck and trail your hand along the rough cement and absent-mindedly pet the dog. Find picture albums from Super Bowl Sunday of 89, that model plane I started making but never finished, the canvas that Carol and Katherine and I painted of a swamp just because everyone else was painting something happy and we wanted to be contrary, a framed drawing of a fish. Just messy enough to be interesting.

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Saturday. 7.10.04 1:53 am
in an unrelated story, here is my geo prof, apparently very thirsty:


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Freakin Out!
Saturday. 7.10.04 1:30 am
Wow, html can be extremely frustrating! Now all the words in my modules have turned black. aieieieie! Oh well, I'll just have to spend some more time on it when my leg doesn't need to be stretched so badly.

Warehouse quotes:

"We should get a delicious pizza for dinner... from McDonald's!"
-my sister

"I'm a little worried about you- you're going to become one of those women that don't even look like women...."
-Marka Stewart, who knows just what to say to make a girl feel special!

Marka: For you this is a summer job! I'm a year round worker!
Madame Fifi: Well, yer round/...

random thought: if English was your second language, the phrase "Time is of the essence" wouldn't make sense to you at all.

This dude totally whacked the hell out of one of the trailers parked at our dock. I was in the middle of unloading it and thankfully I wasn't in the trailer at the time that it was hit because that would be a thrill I wouldn't be too keen on experiencing! The guy dropped the trailer, so when the other guy hit it the whole thing leaned to one side... here is the damage:

this is what a truck foot should basically look like, unharmed

this is what the other truck foot looks like now...

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He died to make men holy, let us live to make men
Monday. 7.5.04 1:56 pm
watching: SPIDERMAN
listening to: ballroom blitz
mood: fiercely patriotic

I had a long day yesterday, I went to church in the morning and we sang a lot of fabulous hymns. I learned that "God Save the Queen" is in our hymnal, a fact that I think I should report to the appropriate authorities as evidence of my church's loyalist leanings. The sermon was about freedom and we learned that Jesus set us free from the bondage of sin and death. We said my favorite prayer, the prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Especially the last bit.
Anyway, there weren't any doughnuts so I gave my quarters to the offering plate and went to King Soopers to buy one and it was only 39 cents! I got one with a star on it, it was so patriotic that I ate it immediately. Then I bought a lotto ticket, cause fresh outta church, I was feeling LUCKy.
Then I went home and made a grasshopper pie, into which I put a considerable amount of booze.
Finally, I went to the Rapid's game, which was awesome, the most exciting part being the halftime show where all the mascots from Colorado and Wyoming schools went at each other in a soccer game. Mostly it was just Cam the CSU Ram fighting with Chip the CU Buffalo without regard to where the soccer ball was and the Broncos mascot trying to push both of them over. The only serious soccer player seemed to the the Eagle, whose feet were too big for kicking, and the Wyoming University Cowboy, who was actually not too bad. His team won with a big goal against the Bronco. Most adorable mascots: The Colorado School of Mines Miner and the Colorado Mammoth. Aww. The Chick-fil-a cows were wailing on Ronald McDonald for a while, but how can you get mad at a clown? Seriously!

Yey for the 4th of July! Next big holiday: Bastille Day! Oh, that I were in France.

watching: SPIDERMAN
listening to: ballroom blitz
mood: fiercely patriotic

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