A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Robbie and Bobby
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing
Meat and Plastic
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Clients from Hell
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Good ol' hoarder habits
Sunday, March 3, 2013
I'm not really a hoarder. I do enjoy cleaning stuff out every now and then, when I get around to it.
This isn't about physical stuff, though. Just got my computer up and running again, and it messed up my iTunes so that I only had my iTunes library as it was in April of last year. I have NO idea why.
BUT, it just so happens that I still had the CopyTrans Manager program in my Downloads folder (which I never clean out), and of course I had saved the email with the activation code in it from that time my external hard drive crashed like two and a half years ago. Yayyyy.
I'm doing a backup from my iPod right now. It's kinda weird, though.
That's even worse than the normal Windows time estimates.
Now that my computer's working again, I can transfer the pictures from my phone to here. Of course, I am far too lazy to do that right now, but I'll post them in the future.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Sometimes I feel like I'm falling when I'm going to sleep. I've read this is a common experience.
Last night I felt like I was lying strapped in to a roller coaster, facing the ground, and being pulled at by gravity. Or... maybe riding those Xtreme Skyflyer rides.
I guess that it would make more sense to describe it as being tied to the bottom of a beam, but the sense was indisputably that of being on a roller coaster.
I should mention that I hate roller coasters. Also that I've actually never been on one that gave me that kind of sensation. I did ride the Skyflyer several years ago, and it was terrifying.
But back to last night. The sensation of being extremely high up like that was horrible. I felt like gravity had been reversed, and even though I was currently pinned to my bed, I could fall at any moment. I could almost imagine plummeting down through the open air, paralyzed by fear. I'm not sure if I'm really afraid of heights so much anymore, but I can't look down from a great distance without imagining falling.
I did end up adding onto my old story. I think Zanzibar has access to it, but as far as I'm aware nobody else from here has read it. I think... it's the longest story I've ever written, but it's actually only four pages. >.> And then I have a bit over two pages just of notes and background info. There's so much I want to cover but I have yet to decide where it will go. I am not one of those people who can write something and say "it just wrote itself!" Actually though, I haven't really ended up writing like, a paragraph or something and then deleting it... so maybe that's a good sign.
I'm just rambling now. Gonna go watch the first season of Xena with my boyfriend while he fixes my computer.
So much for that?
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Grr, I still can't believe I missed a day. One day! So close.
It's almost too late to back out of this college path I've set myself on. I don't know why I'm saying it like that. That sounds terrible. I guess in a way I'm just kind of afraid of how I'm going to deal with the future.
I'm looking at grad school options for Psychology right now. A man from Palo Alto University, which is a Psych grad school, came to talk in my Social Psychology class yesterday, and since my professor recommended the school I thought I would check it out.
They offer PhDs, which would take five years, and MAs, which take three years. A PhD in Clinical Psychology supposedly prepares you to be a clinical psychologist, while an MA in Counseling Psychology prepares you to be a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). I would prefer to go for the PhD, but five more years of schooling, on top of the maybe two I'll need just to finish undergrad, is a really long time. I wouldn't be done with school until I was almost 30...
Since my brother is going to do med school, neither of us would really be done with school until about that age. I'm wondering if it would make more sense to go for the MA and try to get out into the job market earlier. I'm not sure what job prospects are like for MFTs though.
Looking at the Occupational Outlook Handbook, it looks like Clinical Psychologists make about twice as much as MFTs. That's... a pretty considerable difference. Both fields are projected to grow faster than average, though. I wonder if it would be possible to get the PhD in less than five years? I don't know if they require you to take courses in a certain order (probably) or if they would let you condense them by taking on more at once. Could I do that without killing myself? I don't know my limits. Even when I'm feeling "overwhelmed" it's usually just because I put stuff off, not because it's actually more work than I can handle.
My computer is still broken... I'm typing this from a school laptop. My boyfriend is going to buy a new motherboard and processor and try to fix my computer on Saturday. We don't know if it's actually the motherboard and processor, though. My dad said it could also be the power supply. I don't really care what it is, I just want it to work. :\
On the other hand, without my computer working, I've been going to bed an average of two/three hours earlier. The days seem longer. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to limit my screen time...
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
My writing group's prompt for our next meeting is to write a piece based on the excerpt from a random book at the coffee shop where we meet. The snippet is "the way he felt when things were beyond his control."
I have a lot of ideas for this one, but deciding which of them to go with is a bit tricky. Even though I have a strong tendency to write emotions I am familiar with (mainly variations of depression) into my pieces, I have an aversion to including things that are too close to my personal experiences. I don't want people to think I'm writing about myself (even if I am...).
Maybe I should just add on to that other piece I haven't touched in awhile. It would sort of make sense to have the character feel that way, since his life has been essentially predetermined for him by his genetics.
My computer broke last night. Hopefully it will be fixed today. My dad said the heatsink and fan on my other one were loose, which is why the processor might have burned out. I told my boyfriend about it and he said they must have come loose during transport. -Sigh-
Double posting because why not
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Listening to Cirrus by Bonobo. When I saw the music video I knew it had to be by Cyriak. He has such an awesome unique style.
This creepy forty five year old from OKC has been messaging me telling me he thinks I'm so "pretty and sweet" and that he wants to treat me "like a princess" and hopes my boyfriend knows how lucky he is.
"I just can tell you are a sweetheart, not just from your innocent profile, and purity. But your Angel like pics. I envy your BF, you are so pretty and sweet, I hope he treats you like the ***Princess*** you are."
Ewwwww. There are forty five year olds who are pretty cool and don't creep me out, but this guy does not fall into that category. What's worse is that he's supposedly not even trying to hit on me.
"yeah I know you have a BF. and I understand, but your a sweet beautiful girl. When I say treat like a princess. I guess I mean that in this case, as a sweet friend. If I want to do something for you. I hope you let me. if we get a bite to eat, I hope you let me pay, even though its just as friends. He is a lucky guy, I hope he knows just how lucky."
It weirds me out that he's inferring that I'm sweet from my profile, because honestly I designed it to be pretty sparse and not tell people much about my personality outright. My pictures also mostly obscure my face. There have been guys who have interpreted my profile as a sign that I'm bitchy, even. -Shrug-
Here are some pictures I took in a dd's Discounts, which I guess is like a Ross or a TJ Maxx but feels more downscale to me.
Look at these swaggalicious sunglasses.
Aw yeah what son.
(I'm glad my boyfriend humors me when I put silly things on him. He has very little sense of shame.)
The names of knockoff perfumes tend to crack me up.
I feel like they really weren't trying very hard with this one.
"Our impression of 212 Sexy Men"
So it must be 505 times better, right?
Thoughts while biking home
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I tend to zone out when I'm biking unless it's really cold and my ears hurt or something, in which case I focus on the pain and all I can think about is getting home.
Things have been pretty stable for me I guess, in the general scheme of things. Despair rarely comes knocking.
But even though my life is more or less going well, it feels weird.
I think it's just because for the longest time I've (consciously or not) considered suffering an integral part of my self identity. It's disorienting to be moving away from that. Part of me keeps expecting to lapse and be extremely depressed again, or even... hoping for that? Not because I think depression is happy fun times but just... it seemed like it made up part of my personality.
Maybe I've said this before. I think I have, in different words. I'm still discovering who I am without depression. (That's not to say it's totally gone, it's just the faintest it's ever been)
Still, I will admit I draw most of my inspiration from said suffering.
...Though the tiny details of people's lives interest me too now. That's good. I'm finding new things to be interested in. Maybe someday I'll be able to have passions again.
Monday, February 25, 2013
I've been listening to a lot of Jonathan Coulton songs lately. I sort my iTunes library by date added, and most of the ones at the top (meaning new additions) are by him.
9 out of my 15 newest additions are by him, actually. Did not realize just how many I had added until just now.
I'm spamming my ears with Artificial Heart.
His newest album is... really... poppy? (Pop-y?) That kind of turned me off it at first but I really like a couple of the songs.
I love the themes he writes into his songs. With a lot artists I might like just their music and not feel strongly about the lyrics, or vice versa. Got a good thing going here, though.
Here's my other favorite from the album, Glasses:
Gotta go to school now. I need to start sleeping more... I've been sleep deprived for awhile now and it's... not doing good things for my mood.
Oh no :C
Sunday, February 24, 2013
I missed an entry...
My boyfriend stayed over Friday night and I spent the whole day with him, so I didn't go on the computer at any point.
I was doing so well, too. D':
But I'm not surprised I forgot. I was really tired yesterday, and I spent over two and a half hours waiting for him to fix a friend of a friend's laptop in a Starbucks.
By the time he had finished I had basically lost all motivation to do anything and he felt really bad for taking me along with him.
We downloaded Amber: Journeys Beyond onto his computer last night and were playing it until we fell asleep. The game really scared me when I was little, and I was remembering that while we played. Scenes from it have been popping into my memory lately though, so I wanted to replay it for... nostalgia's sake, I guess.
Man, I am really disappointed that I missed a day.
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