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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

The Profile

Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. that of my father and his father before him
Location Altadena, CA
School. Other
» More info.
The World

The Link To Zanzibar's Past
This is my page in the beloved art community that my sister got me into:


Extra points for people who know what Samarinda is.
The Phases of the Moon Module
Croc Hunter/Combat Wombat
My hero(s)
Only My Favorite Baseball Player EVER

Aw, Larry Walker, how I loved thee.
The Schedule
M: Science and Exploration
T: Cook a nice dinner
Th: Parties, movies, dinners
F: Picnics, the Louvre
S: Read books, go for walks, PARKOUR
Su: Philosophy, Religion
The Reading List
This list starts Summer 2006
A Crocodile on the Sandbank
Looking Backwards
Wild Swans
Tales of the Alhambra (in progress)
Dark Lord of Derkholm
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
The Lost Years of Merlin
Harry Potter a l'ecole des sorciers (in progress)
Atlas Shrugged (in progress)
A Long Way Gone (story of a boy soldier in Sierra Leone- met the author! w00t!)
The Eye of the World: Book One of the Wheel of Time
From Magma to Tephra (in progress)
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Harry Potter 7
The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency
Introduction to Planetary Volcanism
A Child Called "It"
Is Multi-Culturalism Bad for Women?
Americans in Southeast Asia: Roots of Commitment (in progress)
What's So Great About Christianity?
Aeolian Geomorphology
Aeolian Dust and Dust Deposits
The City of Ember
The People of Sparks
Cube Route
When I was in Cuba, I was a German Shepard
The Golden Compass
Clan of the Cave Bear
The 9/11 Commission Report (2nd time through, graphic novel format this time, ip)
The Incredible Shrinking Man
New Moon
Breaking Dawn
Armageddon's Children
The Elves of Cintra
The Gypsy Morph
Animorphs #23: The Pretender
Animorphs #25: The Extreme
Animorphs #26: The Attack
Crucial Conversations
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
A Great and Terrible Beauty
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Dandelion Wine
To Sir, With Love
London Calling
Watership Down
The Invisible
Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Host
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Shadows and Strongholds
The Jungle Book
Beatrice and Virgil
The Help
Zion Andrews
The Unit
Quantum Brain
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
No One Ever Told Us We Were Defeated
Memento Nora
The Name of the Wind
The Terror
Tao Te Ching
What Paul Meant
Lao Tzu and Taoism
Libyan Sands
Sand and Sandstones
Lost Christianites: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew
The Science of God
Calculating God
Great Contemporaries, by Winston Churchill
City of Bones
Around the World in 80 Days, by Jules Verne
Stranger in a Strange Land
The Old Man and the Sea
Flowers for Algernon
Au Bonheur des Ogres
The Martian
The Road to Serfdom
De La Terre � la Lune (ip)
In the Light of What We Know
Devil in the White City
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Red Mars
How to Be a Good Wife
A Mote in God's Eye
A Gentleman in Russia
The Fatal Conceit: The Errors of Socialism
Seneca: Letters from a Stoic
The Juanes Module

Juanes just needed his own mod. Who can disagree.
Baby blue eyes, your head on my shoulder
Wednesday. 2.28.07 11:46 pm
Friday. I will update on Friday.

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Tuesday. 2.20.07 7:09 pm

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Monday. 2.19.07 7:08 pm
Craiglist is pretty awesome. I mean, I can't really say that it's as awesome as Wikipedia, because Wikipedia is the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me, but Craiglist is pretty great.
I mean, when I moved here to Providence I got my apartment off Craiglist (all the way from Germany!) Then when I got here I bought a lot of junk to furnish my room from Craiglist, and not only did I get lots of cheap stuff, I got to meet some nice people and get to know where everything is, since I had to drive all over kingdom come. That's come in very helpful many times since then. Anyway, tonight I'm on Craiglist once more, because I am considering moving out of my house. Just considering, mind you, but I thought I should give it some mental energy, especially since I've been complaining about my roommates so much this week and the walk to work has been getting colder and colder every day. (I was placated a bit when I came home today and Chris had cleaned the entire kitchen and done all the dishes, then he told me that he has a bunch of boogie boards and we're going to go boogie boarding this summer. He also knows like EVERYTHING about New England, so he's the best resource ever.) But anyway. Craigslist.

Now everybody knows that the funniest part of Craigslist is the "Missed Opportunities" forum, but today I was looking at the personals, and some of them are pretty hilarious, too. Like... what are these guys THINKING?!?!

I started thinking about which ones I would even consider answering, and I think the best one I came across was this one:

The tagline was "If I lay here"

And on the inside it said:

"If I just lay here"

And that was it.

Now there's my kinda guy. But I dunno, does it look like those are two guys? And what exactly is going on in that picture?

And then there is this guy


Well, I guess I'll stick to looking for housing and free shit.

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Go tell it on the mountain
Sunday. 2.18.07 6:56 pm
Today was an interesting day. My usual Sunday involves packing up really early and going to the Rock (the library) and staying there in the same chair at the same table and doing hardcore work straight for between 6 and 7 hours. Then I go home. Last weekend I went shopping for necessities, and the week before that I went to a Super Bowl party. But this Sunday was a bit different because of President's Day. Half of my professors decided that this was a good time to go off on their various trips, cancelling class for the entire week (Inverse Theory and LVS! woot!). One of my professors was like, "Well... let's see, we're not allowed to have official classes over the holiday... so let's just have an unoffical class, same time same place. See you Monday." Greeeaaaat.
I have to try and do some research this week. Recently Jim's given me a really interesting project, and if I work really hard on it I could win myself some time living in Paris with Francois and Jean-Baptiste et les autres. Magnifique! Still, I rather hoped to hoodwink my way onto an Antarctic expedition next year. I've been drawing up my personal Five Year Plan, and right now it involves living like I've been living (eg saving hella money), paying off all my debts (it's possible, I swear) and then saving $6,000. That's perhaps a tall order if you add up all my debts, but we'll see. Then, when I graduate, I'll sign up for the expedition to Patagonia that I learned about at Pomona. I've got all the necessary qualifications and more, so they'd have to be crazy to turn me down. Especially if I had a field season in Antarctica under my belt. During the expedition you fly down to Patagonia and then you go through crazy intense training so that you learn everything about being safe in the wilderness. Then you go expeditioning. The point is to study the geology and ecology going on in the alpine regions of remote Patagonia. I think you go for three weeks at a time like several times throughout a year or something. And it's only $5,000 something for the whole thing, including housing and food. Of course, we'd be living in tents, so that's not particular expensive per day, but come on! We'd be LIVING IN TENTS!!! SWEET!
So I think I'll find a good picture of Patagonia to put on my wall and focus on gaining skills in my classes in order to be more useful to my hypothetical expedition team. That'll keep me focused and motivated.

So anyway, Sunday-- God has been calling me to church for the last couple of weeks... I always drive past the old Episcopal Church on the way to the library just as the service is starting... so since I wasn't going to go to the library this week, I decided to go to church after all. Sam said that the Episcopal Church was a little too full of costumes and incense and all that for my plain, Lutheran sensibilities, so I went to St. James, the Lutheran church in Barrington. The pastor there is a woman, apparently. I wonder what synod they are a part of. They have a little bitty church with a lovely wooden sanctuary and everyone comes up and kneels at the bench for communion. A nice lady gave me her service guide paper thing when I came in because I came in a minute or so late.

The pastor gave a good sermon (and short!). It was about the part of the Bible where they go up on the mountain and Jesus is transfigured and Moses and Elijah appear next to him. The disciples are like, "Hey! We should build three houses here, one for each of them, and we should stay up here on this mountain!" Then this crazy-ass cloud comes along and it's like, "JESUS IS MY SON! LISTEN TO HIM!!"
Of course, Jesus says that they have to go to Jerusalem, because this is right before the crucifixtion.

But what the pastor talked about was how people like to retreat from the world to find enlightenment, God, wisdom, peace, etc. When you go up to the top of a mountain, it's hard not to believe in God, with all the wonder that is stirred inside of you. It is easy to want to stay there forever to hold on to that feeling. It is also tempting to associate the feeling with the place, that there is something about this mountain that stirs the spirit. That's the same way Peter felt, perhaps, wanting to stay up there on that mountain where Jesus' true nature could be seen, shining through his skin, and where the forms of Moses and Elijah could be seen with him, proving to everyone that he was what he claimed to be.

But what she said was that key was that God is not only present on the tops of mountains. God does not have a particular place on the Earth- He is everywhere at once. He is just as present in the valleys as he is on the mountaintops. He's just easier to see on the moutaintops sometimes. So the real challenge for us, then, is to find God in the valleys of civilization... the valleys of our lives. Amid the cluttered wash of humanity. This analogy works just as well if you think of the valleys and mountaintops metaphorically. It takes great vision to go through great hardship and see how God works amid all that, as well as when things are going well.

That's my friend Michael, by the way. He takes amazing pictures. You can check 'em here.

Anyway, I spent the rest of the day napping (I slept last night from 10pm-8am, then napped today from 11am-4pm!) and scrubbing the floor, on which somebody has been spilling ice cream and blueberries. UGH. I'm trying to get ready because my friend is coming this weekend. I just hope that my filthy roommates can keep it together between now and Friday.

On that note, apparently I've been mentally blaming a lot of mess on Chris which was actually Emmanuel's fault. Emmanuel is also the one who has been eating our food (especially Chris'). Like, come ON! Why you gotta eat my food? Somebody has eaten almost all of my cinnamon, which is the only spice I own. I don't even know how it is possible to eat that much cinnamon. Chris had been suspicious for weeks but he finally caught him red-handed. Then Chris didn't know what to say, so he just said that it was totally fine for E to eat his food. Greeeaaat.

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Don't that make you want to fall in love?
Saturday. 2.17.07 4:15 pm
"A little country church on a two-lane road, a bride and groom coming out the door- white lace dress and a red bouquet, "Just Married" written on an blue Chevrolet...

Don't that make you want to fall in love?
Don't that look like a picture of us?
A match made in heaven if there ever was
Don't that make you want to fall in love?

That just makes me want to give you my heart
Every forever needs a place to start
It's got to be a sign from up above
Don't that make you want to fall in love?"

--Kenny Chesney

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My unpolished poem
Saturday. 2.17.07 10:47 am
The light fades! With clinging claws,
No purchase found, just skews and yaws
I'd trade for my sight all man's flaws!
But still I slide as darkness maws.

My Eyes! They weep with parching tears
That seep from walls of stone
They send out cries that no one hears
The naught they see, they see alone.

The once bright orbs, clung with clouds and mist
At pit's bottom, in darkness deep, forlorn
The spectral silence with blue's cold death is kiss'd
Showing always rain, but keeping hid the storm.

The eyes! Where all our secrets end
Colors and lights are not all I cannot see
But the nature of our souls my friend
Is hid: Mine from you, yours from me.

What Justice blinds me? Blinds us all?
What have I done that sent me wrong?
What Justice let fall the scales of Saul,
Is my faith yet not as strong?

Let fall the scales of Saul! I cry
Let end these days in Hell
But Fate provides not the reasons why
For Justice is blind as well.

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The Question
Thursday. 2.15.07 7:48 pm
Today our Japanese exchange student told me that he had a question he wanted me to help him with. I asked him what it was, and he said that he didn't actually have the question with him right now, so he couldn't ask it. I figured maybe it was on the computer. He asked when I was leaving, and I said 5ish. He asked where I was yesterday (tomorrow? yesterday?) and I told him I'd been sick. Around five he came into the room as if he'd been running. I asked him if he wanted me to help him with the question, and he said only when I was finished with my work. I wasn't, so I said that I'd just help him now and come back.

He said his question was across the street. We went across the street. He peered into the large lecture hall. "Empty?" he said. I nodded. "You can go..." he gestured to the room, "I get question and bringing here."

I waited in the room, extremely suspicious.

It was a long time before he came back, and then I heard his feet pat-pat-pat as if he was running again. He came in and he had a large, bulky object like a gigantic table lamp, with a white windbreaker zipped around it like an awkward mannequin. He unzipped the jacket to reveal a lovely vase with 6 gorgeous red roses.
"I buy you for Valentine's Day!" he said proudly. "Because since I coming here, you are so nice to me."

Awww. They were gorgeous. I told him so. Thank you. He said, "When talking for Valentine's Day, you say every year father buy for you a flower. But you say this year not possible because is far away. So I buy you flower for Valentine's Day from shop near my and Jay's house!"

Awww. I told him I was going to put them in my office, but he didn't want anyone to know that they were from him. So I told him I would temporarily put them in my office until I left, and then take them home. We walked back to our building. He said that he was going to give them to me yesterday but I wasn't there the whole day. He left to go up the stairs to his office.
"Oh, yes!" he said.
"There actually is not any question."

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Wednesday. 2.14.07 8:52 pm
So. It is Valentine's Day. I'm sitting here in my room. It's kind of too late to eat dinner. That's not that bad, since I don't really feel like eating anything I have here. I'm communing with my computer. And my tons of work. I missed a class for two days in a row because I was sick and now they just informed me that I have a quiz in that class tomorrow morning. At eight. And my book is at school. And it's 9pm. And the weather is "freezing rain/sleet/snow". They said not to go out on any "long quests". Not that going to school is a long quest. And I have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow, during which I'll have to tell him that I basically haven't thought about our problem since the last time we met. Which, coincidentally, is the same thing I told him last week. When I wasn't sick. Then I have this geophysics assignment that I think I finally figured out after 4 hours.... but I doubt anyone else in the class will turn it in. But I have to finish it anyway... because what if they do? That means I actually have to write it up. And hope my calculations are correct, which I doubt, because my excell spreadsheet looks like chicken scratch.

To make matters worse, I still feel blah. But just to really grind my gears, someone has been cutting like a thousand onions in the kitchen, so the only thing I can smell is onions, and it's making my eyes water.

So basically it's Valentine's Day and I'm sitting alone in my room doing work on my computer while holding back small, ugly, stinging, onion tears and wishing I could fast-forward five years of my life.

In other news, my parents are awesome.

And chocolate is delicious.

And my discomfort and face swelling is apparently not deadly, as far as they can tell right now.

I guess I'll just suck it up and drive back over to school. ARG!!!

*Update*: The 'icy rain' has frozen all of the doors to my car absolutely shut. I can't open them. The door handles will come off before the doors will come open. I think this is a sign from God that He wants me to fail my quiz tomorrow. Seeing as this quiz doesn't actually have any affect on my grade, you can't really argue with that.

*Additional Update*: I think when people ask me tomorrow what I did last night, I will tell them that I had a party. What I won't tell them is that the theme of the party was "pity" and the guest list was me.

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