I received a dinner invitation very late today, and I was contemplating whether to go or not since this friend had said something that ticked me off last Sunday. But it wasn't my decision to make because he also invited my other friend, who happens to be my driver too. So I asked her and she said yes and we went.

We both were quite reluctant to go because we know this friend would be calling his other business friends, and we somehow afraid we will be feeling small in the circle of new acquaintance despite being told our mutual friend would be there too. That didn't offer us any comfort. What actually made us accepted the invitation? Don't know. I guess we did it on impulse.

We reached the restaurant and found we were quite early, but our host's friends were already there. So we just joined them and they seem to be secretive because they kept on saying tonight's meeting is supposed to be a surprised. So we talked on other things especially on things that my friend aka host kept secret from us. I found out some interesting tidbits about him, and it made me go wow.

But I think the true wow factor was when the friend came with a high profile friend. To be frank, I don't know who he is, but he has a honorific title and the way he talked showed he is not anybody but somebody in the society. And he sat right beside me. I was on the panic alert, but somehow I calmed myself. What was there to panic when I walked with and managed all kinds of people with my working experience? The panic attack surfaced because my inner self feel I don't deserve to sit beside such a high profile person. But you know what... I got tired and I just told myself screw it.

We had great food served for dinner and later we had durian feast for dessert!!!Truly a highlight of the outing! Though my friend and I felt we were in a different world on the same table with those high profile people, we somehow enjoyed the desserts. It was brought by one of the host's friends who produced those food for export. It was truly a luck for us to taste the wonderful dessert.

I somehow strike an intelligent conversation with the high profile person beside me by asking questions that made him talked about himself. There are a lot of things I wanted to ask him, but I dare not, because he is privy on certain topics of his life. And no information online can be found about him. And yet such a high profile and humble person who doesn't mind sitting next to a green horn. Two in fact.

I don't really know what I gained from tonight's dinner apart from the extra fat from the dessert, but one thing I know is I really admire these people's courage and wit in doing business. Truly amazing.

I hope I have the same courage as them. And the high profile person beside me simply advised me "Believe in yourself." It somehow stirred a feeling in me to practice my singing despite the uproar I get from home.

To conclude this entry, I would like to thank god for two things:

1) let me meet these people though I don't gain anything from them except for their contacts; and

2) let me be 56kg despite eating lots of craps and cheese the whole last few weeks.

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

I just signed up with squidoo yesterday and I somehow find it not user friendly given I'm not IT savvy, and I can't find what I want in the FAQ. I want to add more entries on the page, but I could not find any tutorial that teaches me how to move around the modules. I truly feel trapped and frustrated, even more so today when I came to office and check on my new squidoo page, my pictures were gone. Extremely disappointed.

Squidoo is something like a blog that enables you to earn. From the testimonials, many people earn a lot of from there, but I don't see how I'm going to earn.

Oh well, if you wanna see how my new site looks like, feel free to bomb Daily whimsical of my life. I thought I had a perfect title, but I'm perfectly shot down with the frustration.

Anyone else using squidoo?

Comment! (11) | Recommend!

I think I seriously need a break from whatever I'm doing now.

I hope I don't evolve to having some psychotic health problem. Stress is heavier than my shoulders can support.

And by the way would you like to shout out your dreams tomorrow on a stage pad in order to win RM1 million to achieve your dream?

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

I'm truly sorry to hear about the tsunami disaster on Japan's shore. I am even though I may sound patronising instead of apologetic. If you think I'm not sincere, let me share with you that I donate to save the turtles and occasionally the Malayan tiger and children in orphanages.

I read a lot of news where a lot of Japanese and some Korean artists have donated money for charity. I truly feel it's really altruistic but I keep on wondering how altruistic it is in this era. One artist or two are doing it because they really want to, and then somehow it put pressure on other artists to do the same too. Can they do it silently? Then it won't be publicity anymore. And I keep on pondering can the artist do something else for the cause instead of just donating money? Is it mean to say it's boring already?

Why? Because there will be a day where money can't even save the earth. Is there anything else these artists can do without showing the money? If they do, what would their fans and other people think about them?

In short, there's even a possibility of me here criticizing a kind deed carried out by these magnanimous artists. Well, I just want to see something different... That's all.

Comment! (7) | Recommend!

I think in my previous entry, I say I would gather the courage to upload my singing. So here it is:



The name of the song is Dear Snow by Arashi. I only sang the first half, just a teaser.

Comment! (5) | Recommend!

I think lately I dreamed more of snakes especially cobras than any other things.

Anyways, my nightmare this morning was not about snakes. Thank god. But far from comfort of home.

It was at night. I was wandering around at the street hawkers. I don't know what I was doing at that area, but it seems I was doing something. As I was walking around, some thugs in black came. There were cloths across their faces. One of them approached a customer on a table with a machete across the neck demanding for money into a bag. I ran at full speed when I saw many more thugs coming. I saw my dad running too. So we ended up running together. It seemed only the two of us managed to escape from the scene.

Later, we were in the car driving away. But I don't know why we ended up in a huge bus and reached a dead end because the road to get out of the area was fenced. So we just parked the bus and stayed low. I could feel myself trembling. I could hear words whispering that the whole residential area was raided by the thugs and nowhere was safe. I have never felt so sad in my life in the dream. And my mind was only focusing on my money jar in the apartment. I finally understood that feeling was was the feeling of losing a home, of seeing a home being demolished in front of your eyes, of the feeling of losing something precious. I was on the phone with mum and sister, but they don't sound sad at all. And they were not in the same area as I do.

I woke up feeling sad, which I could not really comprehend. Why would I dream such thing in the first place?

The ending? There was no ending. The ending was seeing myself in the bus staying low awaiting for judgment.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!