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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Nightmare again
Monday, March 7, 2011
I think lately I dreamed more of snakes especially cobras than any other things.

Anyways, my nightmare this morning was not about snakes. Thank god. But far from comfort of home.

It was at night. I was wandering around at the street hawkers. I don't know what I was doing at that area, but it seems I was doing something. As I was walking around, some thugs in black came. There were cloths across their faces. One of them approached a customer on a table with a machete across the neck demanding for money into a bag. I ran at full speed when I saw many more thugs coming. I saw my dad running too. So we ended up running together. It seemed only the two of us managed to escape from the scene.

Later, we were in the car driving away. But I don't know why we ended up in a huge bus and reached a dead end because the road to get out of the area was fenced. So we just parked the bus and stayed low. I could feel myself trembling. I could hear words whispering that the whole residential area was raided by the thugs and nowhere was safe. I have never felt so sad in my life in the dream. And my mind was only focusing on my money jar in the apartment. I finally understood that feeling was was the feeling of losing a home, of seeing a home being demolished in front of your eyes, of the feeling of losing something precious. I was on the phone with mum and sister, but they don't sound sad at all. And they were not in the same area as I do.

I woke up feeling sad, which I could not really comprehend. Why would I dream such thing in the first place?

The ending? There was no ending. The ending was seeing myself in the bus staying low awaiting for judgment.

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Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I actually came up with an article on depression ... I was about to write it here until I met some F****** bastard male chauvisnistic pig (MCP)on facebook who happens to be one of my new acquaintances.

When he just added me he commented on my profile picture: "You are not bad looking." And he viewed picture I uploaded on FB. Then on the messanger, he said "I'm a nut case". Nuts enough to go to a loony bin. He said I have psychological problem and am very good in hiding my true self. Well I do agree. I was having some level of depression and experiencing some poor mental health. Yea? But so what? Did he need to go all out and to be that straightforward? People with depression sometimes are withdrawal. I seriously don't appreciate such confrontation. And I was being too polite to hold myself from screaming at him MCP. I told him in the end and he said he is proud of it.

I dislike this kind of people. I pity them since they are misunderstand lot. We are supposed to meet next Friday for some business matter. I think I'm going to cancel because I cannot work along with this kind of people. I don't want to get hypertension.

And I recommend all girls to stay away from him. This guy is good for nothing. I'm referring to his mouth.

Throughout our conversation, he kept on saying "there's something wrong with you" or "you are the one with problem." Just imagine someone slaps you in the face for 5 minutes in a row. This is what he did to me.

What a pathetic guy. His friends must be so resilient to his MCP's personality. His bunch of friends are crap too. I could not make myself from not saying it.

The final word to destress myself: THAT F****** BASTARD F*** OFF.

I feel so much better now. That is why I always say the majority of men I met are assholes. Now you know why.

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En Kaadhal Solla
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I always thought Indian songs are not my cup of tea. I always thought their songs are not as good as English. Why? Because my mum had told me not to.

But for the past two years, the bus driver has been playing Bollywood songs in the morning and evening. And so I have become accustomed to them.

Last year, the bus driver played this song because he likes it. And also a few bus passengers too.

So hope you like this song too.

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Evening nightmare
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I always nap whenever I go home from work in the bus. The Indian driver usually plays Hindi songs or English songs, but last week I don't know what possessed him to play a horror film called CHUCKY. I wanted to nap so badly, but he played the movie making me wide awake. And the worse thing was I sat right in front of the tv. I could hear the conversations so clearly that I just could not sleep.

I thought Chucky is a horrifying movie, but it cleared my misunderstanding of the movie because I thought the movie is about some supernatural stuff, but it is not. Phew. Good on me. Now I'm fine with watching Chucky part 2, if the bus driver wants to play it.

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Walk and sleep
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
My mum told me before that I have walk in my sleep when I was younger. I have taken the blanket and walked in circles in the living room and then returned to sleep. And I have no recollection of it.

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Monday. 2.14.11 1:19 am
I'm now banned from a high retail boutique because I screwed their mystery shopping assignment. I was supposed to check out their clothes, but I checked out the accessories instead. Though I checked out the clothes and asked the questions like the assignment asked me to, the company still didn't approve of my report.

I really feel like shooting at this company. First they pay mystery shoppers peanuts. Second they ask for the moon with extraordinarily number of requirements they want the mystery shoppers to check on. It's crazy. I deserved toe be paid at elects USD 20 and above.

And now I screwed up the assignment, I don't get paid at all and get banned. Right. Let them beg me to do the assignment again since they have not enough of shoppers to do their assignments.

I think I just need to take a break from mystery shopping. But I want USD for my pay pal!

I dread to think this retail banned me for good. And how can I screw up this assignment? Now I have wasted some money on transportation to do this check.

Well, I need to be extremely careful. Does anyone need a mystery shopper?

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