watching: The News
mood: Blah

Ugh. Something has felt kind of off the past few days with me. I'm sure it's partially that I've been sick and probably PMSing, but that's not it alone. I am SOOO READY for summer to be here. I've been outside pretty much all weekend enjoying the hints of summer I've been so blessed to have, it really couldn't have come at a better time.

I have been feeling kind of lonely lately, I have 3 best friends and one of them lives in seattle, one of them works / is a student / is married with a 4 year old / still has a social life, and the other one works really odd hours and all the time and lives 30 minutes away. Then there is the whole drama with 2 other girls I honestly belived were my friends...

I totally saw it coming from one of them for awhile beforehand but the other was a pretty big shock and I saw both of them more than I did any of my other friends. The drama with them was soooooo stupid too. I swear to God, I literally feel like screaming how immature, un-fair, illogical and downright mean they are into their faces. But then that would make me just like them and that is the last thing I want. And don't led me mislead anyone, this has been probably the most passive aggressive drama in all history of girl drama. A few non-swearing, non-insulting, rather "grown-up" like sentences were exhanged in text and then we just simply never spoke again. One of them posted some status updates that I knew were directed towards me so I blocked them and everyone they knew (which also ensured my "fuckk off, I'm sick of your bully shit" message got across) and that was that. I'm still pissed though. I know I shouldn't let myself be and that lets them win but whatever, I'm only human and I have feelings and they're hurt.

Lesson Learned I suppose. Well that felt a lot better lol. Now if only my cold and over-all ickiness would feel better, I'd be set.

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That's my super excited song/chant I shout while dancing around while I'm excited lol.

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Stupid drama with so called friends: CHECK. Stupid POS car breaking down: CHECK. Possibly not being able to afford the repairs: CHECK. I even have a 10 month old puppy that's eating everything in my house again. Wow. It's like being 19 all over but without all the drunken nonsense and more of the responsibilty and worrying. Whoo FRICKING Hoo. Plus to top it all off I have a huge fear of earthquakes and there has been another one which always ups the risks of seeing activity from the fault line near my home. At least I don't live close to the ocean because tsunamis are my second biggest fear and they go hand in hand.

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I have been soo busy lately, I am pooped. I have actually been thinking of the blog I'd like to write about that day each night as I collapse into my mattress lol. Wow that makes me sound like a bit of a loser...eh well, maybe I am a little bit of one. I think it's part of my charm really . I had some super passive aggressive drama with a couple of people I thought were my friends...I'm still pretty put off with the whole situation and I don't want to talk much about it yet. It did however push me to get out and surprise my mom with a visit from Miles & I. I thought she was gonna have a heart attack lol. Her birthday was that week so I drove the 500 Miles to MS and stayed a week. It was really nice to get a break from everything and see all my family and some of my dearest friends. While we were down there we got Miles a bassett hound the same age as him lol. His name is Simon and he's probably the cutest thing ever aside from Miles himself. On another note... We finally reserved our condo for vacation this year!! Whoot! We're going with 2 of our dear friends to Surf City, NC and staying in an oceanfront fabulous condo for a week this summer. I am stoked! Unfortunately that also means it time for Operation Bikini Bod for me. I have a set amount of weight I want to lose, I want to get everything toned up and get a good tan before I go. I know I'm going to have to excercise because I already eat healthy lol. I hate excercise. Maybe sometime soon I'll be able to vent out about my "drama" but right now the wound is too fresh and I want to move past it a little further before I allow myself to really think about it.

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I got my new camera! I went with apoint and shoot but it had more than twice the megapixels of my old one and so far I'm madly in love with it. I haven't had time ot play with it much though because my son has been acting like a little demon the past few days and today has definately been the worst. I can only hope and pray that it's his molars coming in because I can't fathom him behaving worse than this or what else could cause him being this bad given his normal sweet demeanor. I literally just sat down by his crib and cried while begging him to take his nap..parenting at it's finest right? On another note, I have fallen in love with bluegrass musician Dale Ann Bradley. I heard a cover of "Say you love me" by her, looked her up and have since been listening to her a ton. I wish I could find the cover song but I can't find it anywhere, barely even a mention of it. It's such a wondeful version too so I don't know why, I've emailed her people on her site though. Luckily, I did find her cover of "I can't stand the rain" and it's been holding me over lol. She has a lot of songs that aren't covers and I like them as well but it's just rare to find bluegrass covers of popular songs so I've been all about them lately. If I knew how to post videos I'd share some of my favorites but alas, I don't.

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And I still have no answers. Every test came back fine so I have one month to get my anxiety under control and see if it fixes it or I go on an everyday medication for older people. Great.

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