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A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness." ~ D.H. Lawrence "Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?" "Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost." ~ Seneca "People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect." ~ Daydream Nation "All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death." ~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes "The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road." ~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." ~ William Blake Think about it Musicalities! Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics Web Comics and Such A Distant Soil (Some nudity) The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff) Aquapunk Axe Cop Basic Instructions Bear Nuts Beeserker Blue Milk Special Bug Buttersafe ChannelATE Cigarro & Cerveja Crunchy Bunches Curia Regis Cyanide and Happiness dead winter (has some explicit stuff) Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?) Diesel Sweeties DUBBLEBABY Eat That Toast! E-merl.com The End Evil Diva Evil Inc. Existential Comics The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon For Lack of a Better Comic Forming (Explicit) Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?) Mirror The Last Halloween Last Train to Old Town L.A.W.L.S. The League of Evil Genius Legend of Bill Living With Insanity (some nudity) Love Me Nice Married to the Sea Meaty Yogurt Medium Large The Meek Metacarpolis Monsterhood Monsterkind The Moon Prince Moth (Some nudity) Mr. Lovenstein Muddlers Beat Natalie Dee Nedroid The Non-Adventures of Wonderella Optipess Out There Owen's Uncles Phuzzy Comics Political Cartoonists Index Poorly Drawn Lines Powernap The Property of Hate Red Meat Rice Boy Robbie and Bobby Rosscott, Inc. Safely Endangered Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Savage Chickens Scary Go Round Scenes from a Multiverse The Secret Knots Serenity Rose Stand Still. Stay Silent Stinking Hellebore Strong Female Protagonist Subnormality Tales of Pylea Three Word Phrase (some nudity) Tiny Kitten Teeth Toothpaste for Dinner Trying Human (Some nudity) Two Guys and Guy Wilde Life Witchy xkcd Yellow Peril (PG-13) Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics The Abominable Charles Christopher The Adventures of Dr. McNinja The Adventures of Ellie Connelly American Hell Bag of Toast Bear in Mind Bobwhite The Book of Biff Brat-halla Brightest Broodhollow Bullfinch Camp Weedonwantcha Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff) Chainsawsuit Conspiracy Friends! Daisy is Dead Distillum Dream Life Dumm Comics Ectopiary (Some nudity) Edemia Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life A Fine Example Finn and Charlie are HITCHED Floodmud Freaks! Green Wake Gun Show Hark! A Vagrant Head Doctor Productions Hello with Cheese Helpful Figures Hollow Mountain IDK Comics Inscribing Ardi Intragalactic The Intrepid Girlbot JBabb Comics Kyle & Atticus Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space Letters to a Wild Boar Lovecraft is Missing Manta-man Meat and Plastic Minimalism Sucks Mis- Moe Moon Town The Nerds of Paradise Nimona No Reason Comics Odd-Fish One Swoop Fell Patches Pictures for Sad Children Raymondo Person A Redtail's Dream Riotfish Roy's Boys (PG 13?) Run Freak Run Saint's Way Shortpacked! Sin Titulo Snowflakes Split Lip Spooky Doofus SubCulture Super Buzzkill The Super Fogeys The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston Thermohalia Troubletown Mirror Ugly Girl YU + ME 2815 Monument Pure Flash Awesomeness Aardvardkbutter.com Angry Alien Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry The Frown Hoogerbrugge Other Bogleech Clients from Hell Brian Despain Creatures in My Head Damn You Auto Correct! Jhonen Vasquez's site Overheard in New York Passive Aggressive Notes Submarinechannel.com Superdickery UHpinions Whirled | Ow Saturday, December 17, 2016 I keep getting random feelings like I'm being stabbed by needles in isolated places. Comment! (0) | Recommend! Some pictures I've taken since I got home Friday, December 16, 2016 Meat... substance. I don't feel like anything I say will contribute to this picture. I got some new shoes that are supposed to be water-repellent. They are a little cumbersome to put on (can't just slip them on like my other shoes, I have to actually undo all the laces and loosen them the whole way down), but I like them a lot. The past few days, I haven't had much of an appetite. I ate... a cookie, a pear, a piece of bread, and four small pickles today. Kind of need to lose weight after pigging out so much at school, though. I kept getting dessert just because it was there. >_> Really bad habit. Comment! (1) | Recommend! Wow... Tuesday, December 13, 2016 I got a C on one of my final assignments for class... My final grade for that class ended up being a B+, which I guess is... sort of... well... almost acceptable. I don't know if "acceptable" is even the right word. It feels so mild. I feel like I need something that conveys more of a vibe of "I'm on the edge of sanity right now but I'm balanced very carefully on that cliff and I don't think this is necessarily going to be the single thing that pushes me over." Surprisingly I got a 96% on the other final assignment for the class, even though I was far more worried about that one. I don't know, I don't feel like I have it in me to care that much. I haven't had a B+ in seven years and it doesn't even feel real. But... I know I didn't do well this quarter. This was the worst school quarter I've had in memory. At least at St. John's the work was just dumb and easy. My problems there didn't have much to do with my assignments. In brighter news, I got an A on one of my finals for a different class... So that was a relief. The B+ class is the one I hated, anyway. Considering I pretty much had lost the motivation to try, I guess I didn't do badly. This came up on Spotify, and I tend to skip this song a lot, but it seems better tonight. "Comedown" by Bush. There is no blame, only shame When you beg you just complain The more I come, the more I try All police are paranoid So am I, so's the future So are you, be a creature What do you say, do you do, when it all comes down? Comment! (2) | Recommend! I can't make up my mind about my hair :( [2P] Sunday, December 11, 2016 Comment! (0) | Recommend! Hoooooome Wednesday, December 7, 2016 The quarter is finally over. Now I get a few weeks to rest, and then I have to go back and suffer through another ~10 weeks of school before the next break... I got a ride from a girl in my cohort because she lives in the Bay Area too, and we drove here over the course of two days. There was snow in the mountains for about half of the drive. I took some pictures of it when we were driving by, but I'm not sure how well they came out. I'm also too tired to upload them at the moment. It feels really nice to be home, but I also feel kind of weird and spacey, that sort of slightly groggy surreal feeling I used to get all the time after taking a very late nap. I am listening to this and I feel like it fits my mood. "Chameleon" by Trentem�ller. Boyfriend didn't come with me, and he's sad and misses me. :( I'm sad that he's sad. I hope he feels better soon. I asked him tonight if he wanted to Skype or talk on the phone, but he never replied... I dunno, I guess maybe he fell asleep or something. I've been pretty bad at keeping up with blogging recently, but I think it's nicer when I do write on a more frequent basis. Maybe I'll have more energy to write tomorrow. Comment! (0) | Recommend! Blogging as an excuse to avoid writing papers Saturday, December 3, 2016 "Someone Great" by LCD Soundsystem. The worst is all the lovely weather I'm stunned it's not raining The coffee isn't even bitter Because what's the difference? I think these lines do a good job of capturing that feeling of incredulity at the indifference of the environment when something that feels life-shattering happens. It seems senseless that everything else could go on as normal, that the sun could still be shining, that people could be smiling and laughing as if nothing had changed. Of course, nothing changed for them, and of course, you can tell yourself that in rational terms, but it doesn't resolve that emotional feeling of utter injustice at how little notice the world takes of you. Anyway, that isn't something I feel is particularly relevant to me right now. Just something I've felt in the past that this song reminded me of. The quarter is almost over... I just need to do three more papers and a presentation and it's done. I can't wait for it to end, I just want to go home and not be here. Not that being here is utterly intolerable... it helps to have my boyfriend as company... but I miss home a lot. Everything feels less comfortable here. Last night several people were messaging me, so I was managing a few different conversations at once. Boyfriend wanted to watch a show together before going to sleep (he has work today), and it seemed like there was some kind of tension there, because I was dividing up my attention instead of being there with just him. We did end up watching the show after I wrapped up the conversations I was having, but it left me wondering what can be done to resolve that. It's important to me to keep in touch with people, but I'm not always sure how to balance that with romantic relationships. I remember that when my third ex used to come over, I'd often be chatting with people, and would ask him to wait a bit for me to finish. At the time, those people online were the only people I really thought of as my friends, because I didn't have people to hang out with other than my third ex. Maybe I just have social needs that can't be fulfilled by my romantic partner. That doesn't seem abnormal, though... I know some people kind of detach themselves from their friendships when they have a partner, and they just spend all their time with the partner, but I don't think I can do that. I always want to know what the other people in my life are up to. Maybe it's just curiosity, I don't really know. A girl I went to middle school with recently posted a screenshot saying we should have middle school reunions, and she tagged me in it. I barely know any of the other people she tagged in it anymore, although we were all friends back in eighth grade, but I wouldn't mind getting together and catching up. Just curious to see what everyone is up to, and how things have changed. There's never enough time to get to know other people, though. Too many responsibilities and things in the way. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just nosy, but that concept is fairly foreign to my experience. I know what it means in theory, but it's not really something that I've encountered, I guess. Most of what I remember from growing up was that everyone was a bit distant and didn't care to know too much about anyone else. It has generally been very surprising to me when someone shows interest in someone else's life. I'm just procrastinating by writing this, so I'm going to try to work on my stuff now. Comment! (2) | Recommend! Burnout.. Wednesday, November 30, 2016 From a social learning theory (Rotter, 1954) point of view, burnout might be conceptualized as the state in which one's minimal goals are too high and are not changed in response to feedback. Well, this strikes a chord. What do I do about it, though? Comment! (2) | Recommend! Thanksgiving at home Thursday, November 24, 2016 I had a really nice Thanksgiving, with no sensory overload this time. Only had to make two dishes this year, because my mom wanted to experiment with the mashed potatoes, so she and my cousin handled that. I just made mac and cheese and spinach kale ricotta pie, which my boyfriend helped with. He'd never made pie crust before, but he picked it up quickly. :) After we finished cooking, boyfriend and I hung out in my room a bit while he set up a game on his laptop, and then we went out for a walk. We went to my elementary school and walked around the playground. It was clear and sunny outside, and a bit brisk, but not too cold. The weather was comforting. Fro called me while we were out and asked if my parents drank wine, because she wasn't sure what to get them as a host gift, but I told her not to worry about it because she was already bringing a pie and ice cream anyway. She said she'd be over in fifteen minutes, so boyfriend and I walked back home. Then... Fro and Mike came over, and we hung out in my room for awhile, until dinner was ready and the rest of my family came over. My mom asked everyone to write something they were thankful on an index card anonymously, so that we could later shuffle the cards and everyone would read someone else's. I wrote that I was thankful for "good listeners who don't interrupt you in the middle of what you're saying." We made wayyyyyyyyyy too much food for everyone to eat, even though we had seventeen people. When the leftovers were gathered on the table, it looked like we hadn't even eaten yet. >.> It was good, though. I didn't stuff myself like Mike or my boyfriend, so I didn't get too bad a food coma, but I still felt fairly sleepy. Mike and Fro and boyfriend and I had our own little table to sit around, and we chatted through dinner and for a few hours afterwards, until they went home. It felt really pleasant. Since I hadn't overeaten, I nibbled on things while we talked. Four tangerines and a bit of apple cranberry crumble... Definitely unnecessary after dinner, but they still tasted good. It also just felt really good to talk, and we laughed pretty hard a few times. I'm pretty sleepy now, but boyfriend fell asleep on my bed and I'm not allowed to sleep in the same bed with him at my parents' house, so I have to wait for him to go out to the living room before I can go to sleep in my room. Things feel so much better at home. Comment! (1) | Recommend! 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