Ok so its been years since I properly updated the layout to my nuTang. I guess this is somewhat of a start. I've forgotten how to do all that html and flash banner stuff that looked so magical years ago so yeah. Pardon my ever-going construction of my blog.

Anyway, I start school tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to it. A new chapter of my life begins on Monday and I expect only the best from myself and then some. I've worked way too hard to get as far as I have and there is definitely no turning back now. UCSD, here I come.

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I like to play with my Nintendo Wii and newly acquired Nintendo DS Lite… so what? There’s absolutely nothing with that. I’ve gone through more mobile phones than many people I know… and? YES, I have more than one car. Who cares? There are so many things that are on repeat in my mind that it’s almost become routine. For one, I will always - no matter how much I try or what I do - be stigmatized for being an only child. Uno. Solitary. Nagiisa. Whatever. Yet, that does not prevent me from living my life and fighting the stereotype. Like I said to some co-workers this past Friday, I worked my ass off for a lot of the things I have, yet there are things that will come easier for me, because I am an only child.

Enough with that rant though. To sum it up, I can act arrogant and selfish, but don’t let that be your only perception of who I am if you’ve never met me (or if you have) because as with anyone, everybody has multiple facets to their personality, and I just so happened to come off more conceited and self-centered than many are comfortable with. I admit that and I know that for a fact. Oftentimes my biggest enemy is myself; My mind likes to throw things at me that cause insecurity and thus has me reeling from the mental and emotional pain I cause myself.

A lot of my current battles are struggles with image and intellect. “If you don’t do it Marc, someone else will” is what I always tell myself every time I’m on the verge of failure (giving up). My co-worker Mary told me that you should never compare yourself to anyone else, because it’s not going to get you anywhere; Everyone has their own sets of strengths and weaknesses but everyone is also equally prone to themselves. That is why I’m only working against myself now. Before, I tried too hard and looked to others as I set my own goals, which to a point is not bad, but when it comes down to it, I never looked at myself to see where I was heading.

To be honest with you, I think I’m more vulnerable now then I was maybe two or three years ago, but I’ve developed a belief and confidence in myself now that it is that much more secure; I can actually walk down a busy downtown sidewalk on my way to work now without worrying what those people around me think. Seriously, I had major image issues. Maybe it is an only child thing.

Now I’m off to do a mini workout session before getting down with some Theme Park on the DS lite.

Zoom.

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