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Someones_Muse
Age. 36
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. A European Medley!
Location Radomyshl, Ukraine
School. Seattle Pacific Univ
» More info.
A Tweeting Twitter Twit, I am.
Cal-y


April 2024

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I just thought you should know...
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When it comes to being lucky he's cursed
Friday. 8.29.03 10:35 pm
I'm listening to Rod Stewart, and you know what that means! Yes, I am feeling optimistically heartbroken. Kind of an oxymoron, but it's how I feel.

I saw an ex love today, for the first time in a long while. Maybe thats not the most appropriate term... he was more of a friend with benefits I held a little candle for. In short- candle burned out when I realized I could do a whole lot better. I suppose knew I was going to have to face him at some point... (small suburbs do have the nasty habit of keeping you close to those you'd rather escape) but I didn't think things would go the way they did. We were both calm... which for me is completely unnerving because I am ALWAYS dramatic about everything.

Anyway, the whole occurance really made me realize how horribly wrong for each other we were, and still are. I had hoped we'd be able to go back to being friends, but I don't think he'd notice if I let it die... which makes me wary... bastard



NEVER AGAIN

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Here I go again...
Wednesday. 9.10.03 10:59 pm
I'm listening to ABBA, and you know what that means! There can be no dispute as to the moods you must be in to listen to -and enjoy- ABBA. One must be-

A) on a large dose of cold medication
B) giddy... beyond all recognition
C) on a large dose of LSD
or
D) all of the above

As it's not quite cold season, and I'm properly scared of all things propagandized against, one can infer that I am giddy. The dangerous result of too much calculus homework.

Yes, I am a high school sophmore in calculus.

No, I do not have a life.

Anyway, I have things to knit.

See ya

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Superfly Superfly...
Saturday. 9.27.03 12:29 pm
I'm listening to the Vengaboys, and you know what that means! I'm feeling unstoppable. Unstoppably lazy. Well, it's Saturday! Looong awaited Saturday... The week seems to just keep getting longer and longer... Not that I don't absolutely love being back at school, but a girl does need to sleep on occasion... oi Nothing of great import has been happening lately, except that I shall be attending another funeral today ::sigh:: second one this month... Funerals always make me feel guilty, because I seem to be incapable of mourning. Being the only one with dry eyes can be bloody uncomfortable. But I suppose it could be worse... I could be the only one crying... ::ponder::

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I'll never run away... I'll never tell you lies...
Monday. 10.27.03 9:58 pm
I'm listening to Robby Rivera, and not feeling cheery enough to go on with my usual bit. Far too depressed... My dear one can't make it back to WA for the holidays, which pretty much means I have no reason to go on living.

Don't worry, I'm too dumb to do anything stupid... It's just... I feel like all I want to do is cry and puke until Halloween- when i will put on a happy face for the little kids before going back to the whole misery lifestyle for a few more weeks.

Damn it... if only I had the courage to just hop on a Greyhound to Pennsylvania. I need to see a friendly face, that I do...

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Sunday Bloody Sunday
Sunday. 11.9.03 3:42 pm
n_n I just finished reading The Catcher in the Rye, nd ya know what I found out? I'm a lot like the main chracter, Holden Caulfield. So, for the benefit of those who have not read the book (and the amusement of those who have), I shall write todays entry as if I am Holden! ...with slightly better grammar of course... ::ahem:: here goes-

Sunday is the worst day of the week. No kidding, I really hate Sundays. Sunday's the kind of day that makes you feel completely worthless, like you'll never be happy again. Weekend's all spent, and everything's quiet, all day. No kidding, no goddam person says a word all day. I can't help but think about everything I don't like to, because there's nothing else to do.

My parents make me go to this church with them, way the hell out in Des Moines. Boy it's a terrible place, really, I can't stand it at all. It's not that I'm not religious, because I am, really. But the whole place is filled with the worst phonies. There's all these ladies in stylish dresses and hats that act all pious while they gossip about so-and-so's problems with her son. Goddam it's terrible. Phonies like that just drive me up the wall.

Then every second Sunday of the month (like today) I have to work in the 3-year-old's nursery. Don't get me wrong, I love little kids to death, I really do, that's why I volunteered. But it's just depressing after a while, all these little girls whose mum's don't bother to iron their little dresses right and don't brush their cowlicks all out. Boy it's shit, no kidding. And these are the same mum's who've got these perfectly polished boots on and act phony with the other dames.

Today was even more depressing, because I had to tell the really tired lady who runs all this stuff that I can't work in the nursury anymore. My parents want to move us to a new church, seeing as they're beginning to catch on about all the phonies and stuff. Now that it comes time, I don't really want to go. It's like, I know everything about the place, and there's no where better. Same amount of phonies at every damn Cristian church.

Goddam, I need a drink


So thats it, thats me hating Sundays... like Holden... I should write a book...

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I've come undone...
Thursday. 10.28.04 6:50 pm
I'm sort of hating myself right now... I've now missed my appointment with the Speech coach for the second time. The first time I completely forgot... this time I was on time, even a bit early, BUT ON THE WRONG FUCKING DAY... she wasn't even there! This woman must think I'm a damn airhead (which I'm not). This sucks because I'm like the hugest punctuality freak and it's kind of hypocritical of me to miss all this stuff. Now I know what you're saying to yourself... Why doesn't the dumb blonde use a planner? The answer: I never remember to write things in them. I want to disappear. Someone shoot me.

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