Sometimes I'm convinced that people need chaos to exist. As in, without it, we become bored. There's no such thing as fantastic without terrible, you know how it all goes.

But it seemed to sink in tonight.

As I stood at the end of my driveway moments ago, ready to finish my cigarette, I noticed two of the "middle-aged, typical-yuppie-housewife" type women walking their dogs together. (I guess that's the best way I can describe most of my neighbors...) They were having one of those, "brenda this, broke up with so and so, blah blah alimony" conversations.

It kinda struck me as odd that these women (who have the happy marriage with 2 kids, an SUV and a sedan, and a big enough backyard, in a nice homogeneous subdivision; living completely stable but apparently- uninteresting lives) were talking about drama that 20 year-old's experience before they ever thought about settling down.

Why should they care about that kind of stuff? They've already been through it before. They talk about it like it was hell; but the truth? They miss it. They miss having things to agonize over and things to celebrate. People want extreme ups and downs. I think that's why we have so many problems in life.

Maybe this is why humans are always fucking up the world in general, or maybe that's why mankind has marked so many achievements.

I know it affects me personally. The cigarette I put out was a perfect example.

I stride to get back into shape and keep my body active, especially now that I spend most of my time sitting on my ass in a cube farm, calling people about their mortgages. I've even started a nightly "workout" to try and fill in some of my lanky-ness.

But at the same time, I knowingly do wrong to my lungs. What's worse is that I really don't want to quit just yet, I'm still in the phase where it's enjoyable, and not a huge expense. But I know I should quit, and save myself from all the health risks. I've already had 7 surgeries (mostly cosmestic stuff after I lost my eye), and it looks like I'm going to need another one soon for a cyst (eeew, I know.).

The fact that I've had so many surgeries, a lacerated liver, and god knows what else under my belt, really makes me want to quit smoking to avoid all the long-term nastiness.

But hey, I guess we all need chaos, right?

I figure things will happen with time.

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It's been so beautiful here in cincinnati the past few days.

I took my girlfriend on a nice picnic. We threw around the frisbee a little bit. It was all pretty nice.

I left the frisbee in my trunk and ended up using it before work today while I stopped in at the coffee shop.

Later on in the day, i ended up playing frisbee with my manager and a few co-workers on a smoke break.

I've been really happy lately, and it's not just because I love frisbee

I'm comfortable, now I just have to keep myself interested.

By the way, playing a new quest in ANY zelda is a big life decision. It's a full time job. And an epic one at that; the newest game in the series is rather excellent.


Spread love, people.

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I was thinking about how much I hated peta on the drive home today when browsing my ipod on the highway and coming across rise against.

Much to my amazement, one of my favorite webcomics decided to rip on them today!

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/032508/motorcycle-chase.gif

yayy for bashing on "non-profit" organizations.

Don't let me rant, please.



In other news, I've finally moved into my permanent department at 5/3 bank. I'm now officially a full time late stage mortgage collections representative... which means I have the ability to help people avoid getting their house foreclosed on. It also means I'm on the phone in a cubicle all day long, but fuck if it doesn't pay well.

Enjoy yourself folks!

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Or maybe, just a somewhat organized set of observations and arguments.

This might get touchy for some people, so please don't be offended because I will fairly play both sides of the argument... I am a reasonable person.

Ready for this one? Religion... in specifics, the hypocrisy of the upper-class christians.

A key point in my career with god occured when I was 11 years old and too fidgety too sit still in catholic mass, in which I had spent most Sundays since birth. I was moved to the ever so exciting world of being an altar boy. Before everyone goes cracking the "did the priest touch you here" jokes, no my priest was a nice guy. I mostly just carried big heavy candles and bibles and got to move around while everyone else was either sitting, standing, or kneeling.

The unfortunate thing, however, is that I started actually reading the bible. The more I read and gathered, the more aggravated I became with this "god" figure I had feared and revered for so long. This Jesus guy that still didn't make sense. By the time I was 14, I was convinced this was just a well written fairy-tale, and that's when I started reading up on the history of christianity and it's followers... The horrendous crimes and actions taken filled me with pure and utter disgust.

Since then, I've given up the whole 'faith' thing, but kept my respect for those with the blind ambition and willingness to follow something so passionately. The ISSUE, however, is when a militant christian comes forward to me at a line in a wendy's (true story...) to tell me how awesome her church is and how much I would love it. Can you believe the audacity of this? A complete stranger getting some crappy chili at a burger joint, telling me what I would love? But that's besides the point.

The point is that churches are becoming a trend... a business. Take your typical young-yuppie-ran-non-denominational-whoohooweloveevreyone-we'll accept you! kind of church. They advertise their openness and their devotion to one cause... Jesus. "no no, you don't have to donate! new people, get some coffee, talk to people, make friends. We're just going to set this donation basket here, right next to you though. and you... and you too."

The problem is that these churches are being run like a business, and the middle to upper-class SUV-driving yuppies are buying into them at full force.

I've begrudgingly attended several of these with my mother to appease her on holidays, and It makes me happy to know that I'm not spending every sunday with so many two faced hypocrites. Don't get me wrong... some people are there for the right reason... the message, the community.

But other people are there because they feel like if they don't show up every sunday, they'll go to hell, they guess. They preach their undying love to jesus and the well being of fellow christians and proceed to cut you off in the parking lot after the service and give you the finger. This extends far beyond that of course... It's like desperate housewives only with a few more WWJD bracelets (right next to their livestrong!) thrown in.

It's thursday night, and my mother is hosting couples night. There are currently 8 suv's parked outside my house and in the living room, there is a woman praying to god that people see the evils in their materialism... I guess she won't mind if I set fire to her $3000 gucci handbag and closet full of expensive high heels that she wears in the hopes of young guys checking out her ass at the office.

Don't get me wrong... A very close friend of mine attended the very same church as my mother and faith did miracles for his life... It got him off of heroin, pills, along with a score of other life-damaging things.

I used to participate in their youth group by playing guitar with one of the youth leaders there. I did this simply because he was an excellent guy open to my views, and could provide logical arguments and deep discussions without the ultimate goal of converting me. He accepted my views and respected them but was even moreso thrilled that I stayed for the sessions to discuss with the other kids there. Feeling accepted at a youth group and being a known agnostic was an enlightening experience.

Paraphrased... There are a lot of great christians out there that I have deep sympathy for, because there are some real assholes out there ruining it for you guys. I'm sorry.


While on topic, I actually read a christian person's argument against legalizing marijuana the other day. Quoted, "We see it as a temptation that we must resist, and therefore it is considered a sin."

Also quoted,
Genesis 1:11 "And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so."
Genesis 3:18 "... thou shalt eat the herb of the field."
Proverbs 15:17 "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."[1]
Psalms 104:14 "He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man."

I just found that amusing. As it says in genesis, god put plants on earth, and they are good. Now if only we could convince every bible thumping conservative.... ha.


If you took the time to read that all, Thanks.

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I just got word from grand rapids that my sister is officially a week pregnant! I'm going to be an uncle!!

I think this means I need to grow a mustache...?

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I just arrived in grand rapids, michigan with my girlfriend. We made the drive from the nati in about 6 hours

We're at my sisters



Pretty cool stuff, guys.

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