In my 25 years of life, if there's one thing I learned, it's what can happen may happen. Conversely, what cannot happen may not happen. Now, if you're not already fully convinced that this entry here will be one of immense enlightenment and non-obvious statements, then go suck on a foot corn.

In any case, my music collection is about to reach a milestone: the 200th album. Observe:
http://dave.allrespect.com/collection/
By the time the first person clicks on that link (18+ days later), I hope to have already surpassed this historical milestone. And, of course, by person, I surely mean googlebot. And, surely, by googlebot, I of course mean myself.

Last night, I had the grand pleasure of watching the latest Futurama flick: The Beast of a Billion Backs! What an insanely powerful cinematic masterpiece! What a mind numbing, ball busting experience! What a nonlinear combination of science fiction, romance, religion, action, and horror!

Observe with erotic attention and an intragnizent vallure:


I just realized. There is probably only a 15 foot distance between my apartment and a neighboring apartment complex. If my neighbor-of-another-complex were to open his blinds, I would be able to see everything inside his domicile. Now, the twist: his blinds are never open, but mine always are, displaying, in full glory, my barely furnished studio and myself, in poor shape and loose boxers. I wonder if that's why he always keeps his blinds closed.

So, I just copied over all the random, grainy pics I took with my 0.2 nanopixel cell phone camera to my laptop. Here's one I took in London Heathrow Airport (I think?). It's this sushi place where the sushi comes out in small plastic bowls on a conveyer belt.



Let me know if these pics are of any interest. If so, I can upload some more in a later entry. Remember... what can happen may happen.

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After hours of relentless and highly addictive research, I bring to you the Top 5 Bad Ass Guitar Solos of Youtube (in reverse order).

5. Buckethead - Nightrain Solo
At number five, we have the legendary Buckethead. Not only is this solo a difficult blend of melody and blazing speed, he's also playing with a mask over his head (i.e. can't see) and the continous stench of deep fried KFC chicken (i.e. can't think). How bad ass.


4. Brazilian Dude
At number four, we have an anonymous and overweight gentleman from Brazil whose physique seems more befitting a bassist than a killer guitar soloist. Nonetheless, this solo is incredibly bad ass, as he seemingly touches every single note on the guitar with great seduction.


3. Matt - Canon Rock cover (original by JerryC)
At number three, we have Matt AKA MattRach, who is shown below playing the best cover of JerryC's Canon Rock I've ever seen. I even contest it to be greater than the original. (You can watch the original JerryC Canon Rock here http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=by8oyJztzwo.) I would've ranked this guy higher if it didn't look like he had a can of Red Bull that explodes up his ass (time of explosion at 1:41 in video).


2. Oziel Filho - Cross
At number two, we have yet another Brazilian. What a bad ass country. It would appear that growing up listening to bad ass guitar solos, young girls grow up into supermodels of Victoria's Secret. I must do more research. Anyway, in the filming of this video, this young fellow broke every bone in his hand, yet still continued to play with such bad ass grace.


1. JerryC - Rock On
At number one, we have the legendary online guitar video superstar, JerryC. Here's Rock On, my fave of his originals. The first bad ass guitar video I ever saw online was JerryC's Canon Rock (linked earlier). Since then, my life, and consequently the world, has changed forever.


Runner Up
Zakk Wylde - Farewell Ballad
This is an awesome melodic solo. If the melodic-to-bad-ass ratio were not too high, it may have made the top 5. It may have, but no guarantees.


And now, let me close with a random award of zero prestige: Best Fake Guitar Solo Synchronization with Facial Expressions. View at your own discretion: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uZM0EGBdHOw

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Well, maybe I'm jumping the gun here.

I started playing this new game online (courtesy of Techcrunch, you evil piece of shit) called XSketch. For some reason, it won't load on IE for me anymore. I need to use firedawg.

Anyway, the game is like a childhood favourite game of mine... Win, Lose, or Draw. Check it out if you're bored* and want to kill some time.



* Clearly, you are bored if you're reading this blog, which, ironically, is likely to further increase your level of boredom.

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I chat with a lot of my colleagues online. In recent conversations, I've asked many of them: "Yea, but what if management remains intragnizent?"

For the most part, the conservation either ends or is changed. What is up with that? Why are my coworkers so intragnizent?



Marching to a different intragnizence, have you ever yearned to eat face?

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Need I say more?

In other news, Boston Dynamics, the leading provider of human simulation software, tools, and solutions, has developed the most advanced quadruped robot on Earth, codenamed BigDog. As the name suggests, it's the size of a large dog, measuring 1 meter long, 0.7 meters tall, and 75 kg weight. In separate trials, BigDog runs at 4 mph, climbs slopes up to 35 degrees, walks across rubble, and carries a 340 lb load. Needless to say, this advanced robot is both to be awed (and eventually feared as it learns to think for itself). Videos of BigDog have been released on youtube, and they truly are impressive. Observe:



The engineering team has certainly made massive improvements since the initial release of BigDog Beta. Observe and compare:

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I am so sleepy. It would appear that I got screwed over. In an attempt to get some much needed sleep, I went to bed at 9PM, only to awaken at 10PM in a world of extreme tire, but clear-minded state.

And thus, strapping this tire to the wheel of my car, I took a journey to what may at first appear to the be the most delicious destination in this world -- Seafood Island. This is a land so magical, so fantastic, your deepest, carnal desires of hunger come to you (in droves of millions). This is a land where you can (but it very unlikely that you would) go to bed hungry and alone, but awaken with a stomach full of seafood and a room filled with shelled demons from the deepest depths of the sea. (Unfortunately, that did not happen to me when I awoke a couple hours ago.) This is a land where you, and all your neighbors, will have bad cases of crabs without ever leaving the comfort of our home. Observe a wonderment so wonderful, it will make your mouth water with tears and your eyes light up with lemon juice. It will make your feet tingle with fungus, and your ears deafen with mayhem. It may even--no! it will--make your belly button giggle in resonance with the heartbeat of your soul mate and your groin growl with impotence.



And it was here where I met a little girl girl so big and powerful, she would lure pedophiles into her domicile and eat them alive. Observe this giant girl. Her name is Giant Girl, or GiGi for short.



And, as well are know, a blog post beginning with a video of delicious seafood must also end with one. To satisfy your hunger, here you go:



And finally, I leave you with a NuTang exclusive. A good college buddy of mine, a man of no mercy, has created a social networking community around video games. If you like to waste time playing video games and waste time online, then, my friend, this is the site for you: http://mygamemug.com. Upon registration, you can use the invite code 'nutang' to obtain exclusive membership. Let the games begin.

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