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The Invitation- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
What you need to know
Name: Meggyo
Status: in a relationship
Occupation: student at Slippery Rock Unviersity
Majors: exercise science and enlgish lit
Location: Hershey PA for now
Who I am: a ridiculous short girl who is trying to live the most now while looking so eagerly foward to the rest of her life
Where I wish I was: in his arms
Current question: should I stop wishing for things to go back to how they used to be?
Song of the day: ps. if this is austin by Brad Paisley
The Dance- OMD
I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.
to live
Friday. 5.18.07 4:37 pm
Whoever said that there is not some biological clock ticking inside of each and every one of us for when we are ready for life to occur has never opened themselves up enough to really live. There are things we feel that we can always ignore, justify as to why the timing is not right, or just try to shove off onto some other cause. If we try hard enough we can do these things to everything and anything we feel. If we try hard enough, sooner or later it will all come tumbling down to remind us from what we are running away.. because like I said, it's inevitable. Someone has had a bigger plan from day one, we just choose to ignore it.

For all the reasons I could list and for all of those same reasons it will never happen, motherhood is not in the cards for my life quite yet... according to society, and according to life plans and according to the simple fact that this is not the time in one's life to even think of settling down and doing the mommy thing, there seems to be no fooling mother nature.

Something in women tells them when it's time to be a mother, but in our culture we dress this feeling up as wanting a pet, as being preoccupied in a career oriented goal, as wrestless leg syndrome, anything! not our hidden wish to have something to love us back, to take care of, to do what species do-- procreate. According to everything anyone taught us women in society, settling down does not happen until school is over with, career is in place and house is bought. Unfortunately that does not happen until one hits the prime age of 30 these days, and sometimes none of those things ever happen.

So when exactly IS the right time? When do we stop living our lives according to plans that people in general feel are the most appropriate for the calculated predictive success and start living according to how we FEEL? I doubt those days will ever see the sunlight.

There are so many things that I wish I could just step away from my life right now and go do. I want to have a dog that I go rescue people with, I want a job working with kids in the hospital, I want to teach adolescents how to protect themselves from STIs and believe in themselves to have better than they think is possible, I want to teach senior citizens the importance of eating well and getting exercise, I want to be a house parent at some private school until I can afford to get my own place.

I want drive freely without fear, I want to live each moment to the fullest and not continually feel like I will look back on these days and think, "woman, you wasted life right there"., I want to give and yet there is no one willing to take, I want to thrive, and life... circumstances... rules... are just getting in the way of that.

That's what I've been feeling lately, mostly because I have time to think about it, and time to feel how useless I am right now. People tell me over and over that I should enjoy the down time, that I will be looking back wishing I embraced it more when in a few months I will be tearing my hair out with classes and training and eating and meetings and work. But in reality, none of that is comforting, because I LIKE being busy. I FEEl like a useful person. I NEED to be doing SOMETHING and not just sitting around on MY ass all day serving no one, doing absolutely nothing! I am not bettering the world, or my family or my friends by any stretch. I am contributing absolutely zero to the betterment of society or to anyone's sanity. This is who I am. I have tried to change that person many times, I have tried to embrace moments that others would do many ridiculous things for, but I just can't. I know exactly who I am, and I am someone who needs people, who needs to learn, who needs to feel useful, and who absolutely crumbles when she isn't allowed to be that person.
2 Comments.


Yeah there may be that biological clock ticking away, but I'm choosing to ignore mine as well. I'm not ready to be a mom yet either.
» Southern on 2007-05-18 07:19:57

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» Wilbert (190.128.169.122) on 2011-07-08 01:56:09

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