mood: misunderstood

I don't know why but I get very anxious when it comes to my parents and them finding out about F and I being together. It shouldn't be that way, cuz we are boyfriend, girlfriend...and they are already openly aware we are going out. I think it is 'child guilt'...you know when you think you are doing something wrong in your parent's eyes...being disobedient and unloved for doing wrong.

I may have had that complex my whole life, being the middle child...I imagined myself to be independent, not dependent on my parent's love. But it isn't true cuz the middle child often yearns for attention that the older and younger sibling receive. I have maintained my ability to be the 'good child'...filial and obedient. And when I am seen as a someone who has not done favourable by their standards I feel I am let down. But I am slowly learning that a child must break away from their parent's acceptance and filial love to accept themselves and know what one is doing is right. :)

As long as someone else understands me, it will be ok. I think parents should trust their children to do what is right by the way they taught them. They have done all they could to bring me and my brothers up...now it is up to us as adults to decide our lives. Is that a selfish thing to say? Or do parents still have a say once you are 21?

I think...
that YOUR parents have a "say" because they're on your mind even when your saying that as an adult you want to decide what's right for youself in life. The way I see it, we become who we are largely from our parents. So in a way, we really never break away from our parents.
» DeeVeuS on 2005-09-19 11:02:54

Middle child love
I don't think that's selfish.. I kind'a feel that once you're mature enough to think that you're not mature, you're ready to leave your parents wing.
» Dilated on 2005-09-19 06:48:21

hello von-ooshka!
I love your cow thing. I used to have that as my buddy icon x3 About the parent's acceptance I can kind of relate. The career choices my dad has counted on me to do. But I realize I guess he counted on me being a doctor because he saw I liked to help at a early age but in the end its what I want to do with my life and not theirs. That goes for dating too. It's who you love and if you can't help that then they need to get over it. Maybe thats a "disobediant" thinking but if you completely see where they're coming from and they are making no sense whatsoever . Follow your heart because I don't think you could ever go wrong trusting your heart to make your mistakes no matter how foolish they were because I think not doing something and sometimes doing with your mind forms the bigger regrets. As for the music, do you mean the music links or the songs themselves? Take care!-xo
» Phoid_hearted on 2005-09-22 09:33:03

thanks guys for your comments, I really appreciate you taking the time to send me something and giving me your opinion. :) I hope you come back more often..even though my entries have been minimal...
» von-nation on 2005-09-23 07:54:36

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