Just 15 mins ago I picked up a phone call from Ipoh house in M'sia. The news was not good. It was from my mother's swallowed tears voice, her calmess, her sadness, with the familiar chanting of buddhist monks in the background (which is played infinitely on a recorded tape). My dear pohpoh died at 2am this morning... and I can't seem to stop crying when my mother told me over the phone. It just brings back such sad memories...it is exactly 2 years since my grandfather has passed...and as I recall it, it is the same time too.

Is this all coincidence? Why isn't any of us with my mum right now? I'm working without leave, my little bro starts uni in a week, my father cannot get leave from work, my older bro is in Sydney. My older bro just called me and I scared him by crying...I could tell his voice was breaking when he tried to comfort me, and be the 'strong' one. And what was weirder was that my younger bro just called and he asked me "did you miss-call me?". I said "no..I swear I didn't". Then he goes "Oh it was from 6pm"... but it was weird he didn't see that until just after the phone call with mum. So I had to tell him the news I got.

My head hurts...I don't feel like going to work tomorrow. I feel like curling up in bed...or just flying back to m'sia to pay my respects. I really hope my mum got home in time. My eyes have never hurt so much from crying, my head hurts, my forehead is heavy. I wish I was with my mother comforting her...cuz if it was anything like last time...she will need the support. Death is just sooo sad and depressing...it is inevitable. I just think of me being at the age of my mother and how I will see her pass...I can't bare the thought of that! Why is life so cruel..

I'm going to try and sleep now..if I can...

I like it too =) Hecc yess, purple rox. LOL, i used kodak.. its a software that came w/my digital cam. yeah.. lol.
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