�I know what you�re trying to do,� I yelled, trying to win a volume match with the Merle Haggard song my mother was blaring.

Momma would look at me, smile, and sing along with the chorus: �Momma tried to raise me better. But her pleading I denied. That leaves only me to blame �cause Momma tried� All this did was infuriate me more. She had a staple of old country songs she played over and over again, as if hearing Kenny Rogers croon �Son, you don�t have to fight to be a man,� would make me less volatile in school.

I used to fucking hate those songs.

She�d hold me then, rock me back and forth and tell me how much she loved me. I�d push her away � or at least try to back then. She was strong. A lot stronger than me. So she�d just hold me, tell me I need to calm down lest I end up like my father. His reemergence in my life later on, as well as just general maturity, went a long way in curbing the anger I had for the world. But I credit her with instilling in me an innate sense of justice and a strong willingness to try and do the right thing, fuck the consequences.

Now that I�m older, I often tease her about that when she brings up my reluctance to chase money and follow the path of least resistance. �But momma,� I say,� you always told me to do what I think is the right thing. I know everyone else is set back at school� but I kind of like having my soul in tact.�

�And I bet they like having a job,� she shoots back. It�s a fair � and so fucking accurate � point. These public interest jobs don�t really grow on trees and I�ve really got no idea how or what to do to secure one upon graduation. Shit would�ve been so much easier if I had just opted to interview with a few law firms, gotten a big payday gig, and live comfortably for a while.

Ah well.

I'm on Oahu, in Honolulu. Aren't you on Maui or something?

I'm glad my parents didn't blast country music all the time when I was growing up...
» randomjunk on 2012-07-22 04:07:00

Oh those lyrics are so cheese.

It's admirable you're doing what you want and not chasing after money. You're helping out people. You're challenging yourself too right? I know art isn't going to make me rich and stable but it's what I friggin want to do dammit.

Your capitalized rant made my laugh. I agree he's a bozo...

Well sounds like you just aren't comfortable with opening up. It takes time and effort... and someone who understands. I'll help you... here's a personal question: how many showers do you take in a day?


» dont-see on 2012-07-22 08:58:46

Yeah right. I bet you're a never nude. Jean cut offs and all. It's ok.
» dont-see on 2012-07-22 10:16:03

haha fantastic billboard.

http://www.facebook.com/crindys
I accept your request.

my facebook has an old painting I did nothing more. I feel like a weirdo when I show off art on facebook.
» dont-see on 2012-07-22 11:07:40

My mother blasted Carpenters and she still does... among other things. I guess sometimes money ain't everything
» Nuttz on 2012-07-23 09:56:14

RE:
That's pretty much what happens anytime I make it.

» BelleoftheBlues on 2012-07-24 04:21:13

Gotta love mommas, I bet she's really proud of you even if you aren't rolling in the dough.
» BelleoftheBlues on 2012-07-24 04:23:45

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