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undecided
Peace
Saturday. 4.16.11 11:01 am
This evening is one of those precious times where I am at peace with a great many things. I'm not sure if this is the lull before the storm or just a temporary break in the frustration and emotional fatigue that I have been going through this month. I'm not even sure if this is me in my deepest deep freeze mode or I'm just numb from having too many people wanting a piece of me without bothering to give back. I love to be able to hear the sound of crickets, even though it is crisscrossed with the sound of moving vehicles from the highway just outside my housing area.

Finally for the past few hours things have really peaceful and tranquil. I finally got to be home alone for a few hours doing nothing but finishing a book that I've been reading for the past month or so. It is very soothing because there is no one blasting the TV downstairs or people calling me from downstairs and asking what am I doing in my room as if be holing up in my room is NOT a norm. My class started and I have assignments to do and so what if it is Friday night, why can't I just stay in my room? What's your problem? Sometimes I even get ridiculously stupid questions like "I had a lot of socks, how am I going to wash them?". Like totally WTF?

And like all through this month I have to "entertain" this friend of mine who usually disappears after he has a girlfriend. Only that it's been a while since he had a girlfriend and this girl of his is very confusing. Because of that, I get bombarded with relationship questions almost everyday of the week and it often revolves around the same issue. I mean honestly, dude, STOP FUCKING ASKING ME! I'm not her, how the fuck should I know what is going through her head? And the best part was, just yesterday, he texted saying that he misses me. He never did that before. Ever. Even when we were hanging out every other day. I will bet all the money I have that he said that because his love interest aint giving him the attention he needs and he is using the attention that I am grudgingly giving him as a substitute. And you know what's the best part about this is? If I am ever in his position, he will never do the freaking same. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call a classic black hole.

I don't really want to talk to anyone right now except say a couple of friends but mostly would rather it if they were to tell me everything while I just prompt them to go on with little emotion or thought. I guess I'm happy for not needing to think for anyone else but me for a change.
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