I take another glass of champagne from the tray being held out to me. Then I liberate a canapé from another proffered tray. Both hands occupied, I turn my attention back to my companions. They are animatedly discussing whether or not the star-shaped light hanging above our heads would look as good on their patio.

I look up and examine the object of their attention critically. It is quite pretty, even if the points do resemble nipples from certain angles. It does look dreadfully impractical though. Most of the pieces showcased at tonight’s opening don’t look like they would survive a drunken party. Then again, most of the people milling about the room don’t look like they would attend, much less host, a drunken party. A garden party, more likely, with tinkling laughter, polite conversation and smiling waiters gliding around with trays of canapés.

Mmm, canapés. I snag another one from a passing waiter.

I nudge a light globe experimentally with a curious foot. It rolls away slowly then stops short, restrained by a power cord. I can just imagine what would happen if I brought one home:

“Now we can play football in the dark!!” someone would excitedly suggest. And like drunken lemmings, everyone else would think it the greatest idea ever. A black marker would then be magically produced and the traditional black patches would be added onto the light globe. Never mind the fact that it would be tethered to the nearest power socket. After the first kick, all hell would break loose and that would be the end of $200 worth of Italian-made “enlightened use of light”.
The other pieces look much the same. Plastic, hardy enough to withstand the odd knock, but certainly not a well-aimed kick. Of course, if I bought one for those labelled prices, I’d chop off any potentially threatening foot that so much as twitched in the wrong direction. Actually, I’m not as impressed as I had expected to be. They’re basic designs which, though admittedly do look good, aren’t likely to incite awestruck gasps. They’re just, well, lighted furnishings.

Except the penguins. Adorable, lighted penguins in a little decorative huddle. There’s something about them however. They remind me of something, but I can’t figure out what that it is. I stare at the penguins as I try to work it out.

My friend notices my concentration and turns to look at the penguins. “Oh, haha!” He nudges my other friend and points them out. “Don’t you think they look like…,” he trails off, waiting expectantly.

“Dildos!” I triumphantly exclaim.

The conversation around us abruptly halts.

Categories: Facepalm Moments [t]

One of those things that's ten times funnier when it's not you. :P
» randomjunk on 2007-05-26 03:17:12

I totally agree with random. Sounds like one of those moments where you pray for the power of invisibility.
» Southern on 2007-05-26 07:40:06

That happened to me.
Mimicking my (female) friend's "Oh, fatigue!" in line for a roller coaster, and everyone stopped and stared at me. "Heh, AJ, check it out. Everyone's staring at us."
» middaymoon on 2007-05-27 05:54:36

You gals go to the best parties!
» Paul (202.75.36.222) on 2007-05-28 08:03:43

Dildos? *flips the dictionary* Oh.. LOL! I bet they think the same but couldn't believe you said it out loud.
» Nuttz on 2007-05-29 12:32:55

randomjunk: Yes, I live to amuse. :p

Southern: Or just really thick skin...

middaymoon: Attention-seeker. Lol.

Paul: Aha, but I didn't go with girls. Both times I went with your FAVOURITE judo boy! :p

Nuttz: Haha, I blame it on the champagne.
» theZEBRA on 2007-05-29 10:37:42

*Snigger*
» LittleBrit on 2007-05-29 03:47:25

Naw...
I'm just better at handling the bad PR than the good. It helps that I'll never see those people again.
» middaymoon on 2007-05-29 05:21:35

Aww... that puppy is sooo cute!!
» kKaMa67 on 2007-06-04 01:38:43

Well,somethings are better kept inside and never said out loud... For example, this case of "Dildos!" HAhhHHAhHAHa
» Xboyz on 2007-06-11 02:54:07

Hey how are you?? Just dropping by to see what's new.
» kKaMa67 on 2007-06-12 09:56:25

I'd like a canapé right now.


Also, next time I'm at a fancy party I'll probably snort drink out my nose because I'll be reminded of this special, special dildo story.
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