Dear Red Bull,

Students all over the world have sung your name in praise. Shrines have been built to honour you, dissertations have been prefaced with pages pouring gratitude to you, and epic poems have been written to glorify you. Truly, you are a friend to the procrastinating university student.

But not to this one.

Red Bull, I hate you.

No, that doesn’t look right. Let me try it again.

Red Bull, I HATE YOU.

I try to stay away from you because god knows, I love my sleep. But sneaky bastard drink that you are, you worm your way in anyway via a glorious marriage with vodka. Vodka Red Bull, tastes so good and is yet so evil. Drink enough of them (without puking after), and you DESTROY any chance of sleep.

I went to bed at 3am. And stared at my ceiling in sick fascination till 7am. It’s now 10am. I’ve abandoned all hope of ever falling asleep. Ever. I had the entire shitty experience of drinking too much without the comfort of falling unconscious and sleeping through the hangover. I am literally trembling. Buzzing. I would go out for a run and work it off, if not for the fact that I would break my face on the first tree or parked car I come across. Because I am too lightheaded from exhaustion to process anything but my hatred for you, such is its passionate strength.

Red Bull gives you wings? I want to dig a knife into my shoulder blades, rip them out and stuff the feathery fuckers down the throats of the people who created the cursed drink.

So Red Bull, dear Red Bull, trust that I really mean it when I say that I completely and utterly LOATHE you.

Sincerely,
Me

Categories: Booze [t]

i hardly doubt it was the red bull..
» jase (60.53.3.111) on 2007-03-24 10:08:04

I hate Red Bull because it tastes like shit.

I prefer my voddy straight up. :P
» ranor on 2007-03-24 10:10:40

Hahaha. Never tasted it, but would like to have wings. Did you mean that metaphorically or literally? Gimme yours. Not too bloody, please. ;)
» Silver-dot- on 2007-03-25 12:25:12

I wanna try it
Since you say it's nice... I think maybe just one.. So that I can sleep peacefully at night..
» Xboyz on 2007-03-25 01:58:17

haha, I've never had a Red Bull and I don't intend on doing so. I could go for some wings tho ...
» LostSoul13 on 2007-03-25 02:08:43

Lol! Never tried and will not try Red Bull, unless if I really really need to. Have you tried flying with your wings when you were an insomaniac?
» Nuttz on 2007-03-25 10:58:37

Red Bull is GROSS!!! I got a free can of it on campus one day, and I tried it, and it tasted like piss.

Like ranor, I prefer my vodka straight. Maybe some mandarin vodka with pomegranate tea, that's really tasty when you do it right.
» ikimashokie on 2007-03-26 11:22:57

I hate red bull too, they put stuff inside I'd rather not drink.
» KE (60.49.102.56) on 2007-03-26 09:45:28

Anyway, nice to see that the zebra is happy and intoxicated . . . don't overdo it, yeah?
» KE (60.49.102.56) on 2007-03-26 09:47:44

geez...
i've never had red bull before
» helloiloveyou on 2007-03-27 01:17:20

hmm, I've never had that problem with yager bombs...but perhaps that's because I usually have an excess of other alcoholic drinks as well. :)
» little-b on 2007-03-27 11:15:19

jase: Surely you're not suggesting that I spent the entire night thinking about a certain someone?! Cuz that would be ridiculous. And sappy. And ridiculous.

ranor: That's like drinking turpentine. O_o

Silver-dot-: Red Bull gives you wings. So grab a can today!

XBoyz: I'm not sure if the fizzy canned Red Bulls (which is what you mix with vodka) are available in M'sia. Cuz I only recall seeing the bottled non-fizzy ones. Make sure you get the right type!

LostSoul13: My mom's worried that I'll have to go to rehab to treat an addiction to Red Bull.

Nuttz: I'm not an insomniac. I was just cruelly fooled.

ikimashokie: Yes, I must admit that it does taste a little strange without vodka.

KE: WHAT STUFF?! WHAT STUFF?! Why do you keep telling me these things about the food/drinks I like?!

helloiloveyou: Easily rectified.

little-b: Mmmm, jagerbombs are the errr...bomb. I had one that night too. YUMMM!!
» theZEBRA on 2007-03-27 09:40:45

Red Bull Vodka, probably the best drink in the world.
» YK (60.52.65.24) on 2007-03-29 04:20:19

Never had anything alcoholic
being the minor that I am. I tried some wine, but didn't like it. Hopefully I'll just shirk the stuff.

I doubt it though. The same goes for Red Bull.
» middaymoon on 2007-03-29 07:08:28

YK: Well, I wouldn't go THAT far... It's still pretty good tho.

middaymoon: Miscommenting... Are you really sure you haven't been drinking? Hmm? LOL
» theZEBRA on 2007-03-29 11:11:17

*creeps up slowly...*

Pssssst... Whiskey Red Bull... One shot JD, one shot Red Bull.

*fades away*
» Laynie (219.95.171.146) on 2007-03-31 01:35:00

*Bleugh*
Can't stand the stuff. Wouldn't touch it with a 50ft dissinfected barge pole.

» LittleBrit on 2007-04-01 04:51:38

So you like Red Bull? Thats cool.
» Dilated on 2007-04-02 01:53:06

Kidding. I stayed up all night last night on Monster energy drink 'cause Red Bull doesn't do it for me.. so in a way, I hate it too?
» Dilated on 2007-04-02 01:53:28

Aiyoh! Why have you strayed into the realm of Red Bull? It will grow hair on your chest!

Stick to caffeine darlin.
» Paul (218.111.160.70) on 2007-04-02 11:13:11

You might be interested
in my newest blog.
» middaymoon on 2007-04-03 09:39:24

Laynie: Eurgh, JD. *Turns pale*

LittleBrit: More for me. :p

Dilated: Yes, it's a love letter to Red Bull.

Paul: *Looks down* So THAT'S what it was!

middaymoon: I like your mom. :(
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