SPIDER!!

I just saw a great scuttly beast scuttling in my room!! I immediately dived for my Thong of Destruction (Footwear, Not Underwear) to murderise it, but when I turned back, it was gone! AARGHHH!!!

I now have a cursed spider lurking in my room. When I saw it, it was very close to my bed. So I can't ignore it. Must! Kill! Before it kills me! I’m not normally this jumpy around spiders, but here in Australia, everything’s out to get you. Fucking Aussie wildlife.

Forget it, says the Aussie housemate. It’s probably not poisonous. ’Probably’. ‘Probably’ isn’t good enough, mate! ‘Probably’ means that there’s still a chance that it’ll bite me in my sleep and turn my insides to mush before I can struggle out of a fantastically hot dream.

I hate this waiting! I don’t want to wake up with eight scuttly legs on my face! Why won’t it just come out into the open where I can use my ToD (f., n. u.) on it? In fact, how did it disappear so quickly? Spiders aren’t conventionally known for their amazing speed, but this one must’ve practically scorched toes diving for cover like that.

It’s wily, this one. But I’m wilier. And I’ll be there when it finally picks up the courage to poke a hairy toe out. With my trusty ToD (f., n. u.) in hand.

Categories: Misc [t]

What have I told you about killing innocent animals silly?

You've gotta find other ways to release your anger Jamie! Aah well, just a week till our gunshooting course =), saaay, you've signed up right?
» (134.7.248.137) on 2007-03-19 11:15:49

Vegard: NOT YET!! Oh no! I'll sign up tomorrow. And I bet you're the reason the spider's gone. You probably zipped in when my back was turned, rescued it and zipped out again. I'LL TRACK IT DOWN!!
» theZEBRA on 2007-03-19 11:51:31

Oh my, you must've killed a lot with your ToD since you're in Aussie.. Aren't you afraid that you'll be "visited" by other spiders after you killed this one?
» Nuttz on 2007-03-19 12:25:29

Spider also scared meh? If its a redback then I'll fly there and help you, since its not.. Ji Ki Ku Ji Ki laaa! hahahahaha
» jase (60.53.3.111) on 2007-03-19 11:19:53

It can't be pleasant once you realise that you've moved to a country that's home to a lotta lotta dangerous, poisonous creatures, both big and small.

Brush up on your thwacking skills (with and/or without thongs) so you can moider da bums with ease in the future.
» Shan (60.52.45.241) on 2007-03-20 10:28:25

Can't you kill it more humanely with an *actual* thong instead of footwear? For example, you could hire me to prance around in front of it in a shiny gold thong, in which case it'd probably die of shock. Right?
» LittleBrit on 2007-03-20 05:22:26

My man thong would be shock-ier
but less humane. Spiders love me, ahaha.

Too bad I don't love them back. >:0
» middaymoon on 2007-03-20 06:37:06

Nuttz: Will kill those too!

jase: Eurkhh! So cruel!! Not a redback, but might still be poisonous!! What's the point of being my mom if you don't care?! T-T

Shan: I have a heart attack every time a bug here so much as skitters towards me.

LittleBrit: Or I could strangle it to death!

middaymoon: Foul beasts like spiders are incapable of love
» theZEBRA (134.7.248.129) on 2007-03-21 04:11:18

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