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One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with.

Ogden Nash
Delirium Tremens
Tuesday. 3.21.06 12:06 am
Dinner at the Belgian Beer Cafe.

I try not to look too worried as I contemplate the tasting tray sitting before me. Everyone else has already ordered their favourites and they’re all watching me expectantly. I scan the bottles already on the table – a couple of Chimays, a Leffe, and three different Hoegaardens.

Is this a test? I can’t help but feel that any future invitations will hang on my beer choice. Will they think less of me if I choose a Chimay White over Blue? And what if I pick an utterly pretentious beer? Will that reflect my innate brand-whorism?

I try to fish for hints.

“Hmm, why don’t you try one first and tell me what you think?”

“No thanks, darling, I’ve got mine. Just pick one. It’s really your own taste.”

So much for that. Until tonight, my taste tended to gravitate towards whatever was on special at the bottleshop. Sigh. This would be so much easier if they hadn’t detached the little bits of paper naming and describing the beers first.

Right, here goes. The first two are immediately rejected. Too big, too heavy. The third’s a bit iffy. It’s alright, but it’s also boring. It doesn’t taste like it has any personality. If the last one doesn’t go down well either, I’m stuck between three beers that I don’t like and one that says that I watch golf.

I pick up the last glass. And the first sip takes me by surprise because it starts off unexpectedly tingly, almost bitey. It’s very smooth though, and subtle. I like it. A lot. It tastes like it belongs in a club/lounge as opposed to the first two which have seem more pubbish. Refined. Sophisticated. Like me.

Someone passes me the bit of paper that came with it. “Delirium Tremens”. Good name (haha) even if it does sound a bit cocktail-y. 9% alc. vol. (phwoar, put that next to a Heineken’s 5%).

I place my order and smirk with self-satisfaction. Until my bottle arrives.

Pink elephants.

     

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28 Comments.


funky. although; ty kronenbourgh 1664 blanc and kronenbourg 1664 cru. both are good beers. better on tap, than in a bottle. massively different. try it out soon! p/s - hoegaarden ftw!
» bUttsH4k3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-03-20 02:37:21

Ugh, I hate Hoegaarden. It's like drinking perfume. Not that I've ever drunk perfume. But I imagine that if I did drink perfume it would be like drinking Hoegaarden.
» (62.253.64.16) on 2006-03-20 05:41:21

bUttsH4k3r: Thanks for the tip!

Person whom I suspect is Katy (YOU CANNOT HIDE!): Really? All of them? Cuz I've always wanted to try a Forbidden Fruit, which I imagine would be the most likely to taste like perfume.
» theZEBRA on 2006-03-20 07:03:08

Oh my GAWD, every single post you've put up since you arrived in Oz has been alcohol-based! Intervention! Intervention!
» Jay (83.146.56.226) on 2006-03-20 07:31:34

*offtopic*
hey jamesie, frus here. I heard youre in Oz now?
» Frus (220.245.179.132) on 2006-03-20 07:39:33

let me know as soon as you try them, you alcoholic, you!
» bUttsH4k3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-03-20 07:54:24

Yes, it was me. Dammit, there is nowhere to run to. Not even on the Web.
» Katy Newton (62.253.64.16) on 2006-03-21 01:17:49

Jay: You exaggerate! It's not every single one, just...most. But if you like, you can still come down here for an intervention. That way, your mom will have a place to stay in London. :D

Frus: Heya frus! Yep, I'm in Perth. Who'd you hear it from?

bUttsH4k3r: Not you too! I resent being called an alcoholic! I can stop any time I want to. Really. Err.

Katy: Resistance is futile.
» theZEBRA on 2006-03-21 03:04:15

Delirium tremens? Glad the makers of the beer had a sense of humour :) Yeah, hate to be all big brother here - like Jay koko - but yo, babe, intervention. Paul
» Paul (60.48.208.77) on 2006-03-21 03:50:11

Yeesh. With packaging like that, you'd expect the product slogan to go: 'The preferred alcohol of kindergartens nationwide.'
» Laynie (219.95.249.54) on 2006-03-21 07:43:21

Paul: Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny too. Ok, Paul kor kor, I won't get drunk till saturday (no helping that, I've got another 21st b'day party to attend). But damn, with no pissed-idiotic antics from now till then, what CAN I post about?

Laynie: I think it's more of a friendly warning of what you'll start seeing if you drink too many of those. But don't worry, I didn't see any pink elephants apart from the ones on the label and the one running across the courtyard.
» theZEBRA on 2006-03-21 11:10:28

Alright, when you get back, I'm going to show you some pictures of alcohol wasted livers.
» KE (219.94.117.95) on 2006-03-21 04:33:36

And then I'll torture you with a lecture on the complications. It's worse than it seems, I've been told I would make the most boring lecturer . . . ever.
» KE (219.94.117.95) on 2006-03-21 04:38:37

so this is what you were telling me about on the phone la? it's amazing you're not dead yet. how can you compare 5% to 9% la?! it's nothing compared to 24.3% or more kay... lousy la you! you're like a broken bottle leaking vomit instead of the beverage!
» jase (130.220.79.98) on 2006-03-21 07:31:11

Beer
You need to try bitter it has much better names like Bishop's Finger and things.
» US (62.254.128.6) on 2006-03-22 12:56:10

Haven't been visiting here for quite a bit. With all the alcohol you've been having, I think I can safely say you're having a swell time in Aust. ;P
» derek (203.106.28.194) on 2006-03-22 02:49:34

The real test of a good beer is, how it feels oozing down your shirt when you are too drunk to drink from the bottle properly. Really!
» AJ (219.93.73.114) on 2006-03-22 03:04:46

KE: So I had better drink all I can before I see those pics!!!

jase: It's BEER, not freaking port. AndIt makes a diff when you start seeing dancing koalas twice as fast.

US: How about a Big Sky Moose Drool Brown Ale?

derek: The trick is remembering those swell times in the morning. Btw, great to see you here again!

AJ: Not how it feels oozing down your socks? :D
» theZEBRA on 2006-03-22 03:36:40

Pink elephants! they're making you hallucinate even before the alcohol really kicks in
» Yurisan (219.95.167.138) on 2006-03-22 03:37:36

they have a beer cafe? omg, i'm so coming to perth. i wouldn't have encouraged you drinking so much,(esp since you're drinking way more than you should!) but i need you to go and try all the beer there and find out which has a sweet taste so that I can drink it w/o having to "test-drive". muahaahhahaha. btw, did you keep the bottle? hehehe
» Qian (60.48.114.222) on 2006-03-22 09:38:40

Yurisan: Don't forget the strutting crocodiles and circus dragons!

Qian: We've got beer cafes back in KL too, you know. Try Deutsches Bierhaus. it's more of a pub/restaurant, but that amounts to the same thing anyway. There's one in Plaza Mont Kiara. You've got to try their pork knuckles!
» theZEBRA on 2006-03-22 12:04:26

bah.. nonsense, and here I am thinking that you could do better than mindy in a drinking game!
» jase (130.220.79.99) on 2006-03-23 01:54:59

hey... I'm not THAT bad. I'm pretty certain that i can handle at least 5ml of alcohol without starting to giggle
» Min (130.220.79.98) on 2006-03-23 02:15:46

hey alkie, been partying much lately? must be. you went missing again.
» bUttsH4k3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-03-24 04:27:25

bUttsH4k3r: I'm not an alkie! And I didn't go missing, I just ran out of alcohol-fuelled antics to post about since I didn't drink for the rest of the week.
» theZEBRA on 2006-03-26 03:09:24

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