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One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with.

Ogden Nash
Westralian Mishaps
Wednesday. 2.8.06 1:10 pm
I was told that I would be bored to tears in Perth. The Melburnians said so and the Sydneysiders said so. And when even the Adelaidians looked at me with pity in their eyes, I resigned myself to a year of Sudoku and Futurama videos.

But I seem to have been worried over nothing. If the past couple of days were anything to go by, Perth promises to be quite an eventful village city. In this short period of time, I’ve already managed to:
  • Lock myself out of the house
    The front door is equipped with one of those secure locks – the sort that can only be opened by a coded metal tag – to keep out the plebs. Unfortunately, there’s also a trick to opening it, and I was somewhat distracted (i.e. too caught up admiring my reflection in the glass) when the lock mechanism was explained to me. It took a good half hour of running around with a threateningly full bladder before I finally found someone to let me into the house (and the loo).

  • Trap myself in the computer lab
    I was exploring the campus and thought I’d try out one of the computers. The thing is, I needed to swipe a student card to get in and I didn’t have one yet. Nothing to worry about as I simply slipped in after someone else. But what I didn’t know was that I needed to swipe out as well. When I finally got up to leave, the only other person in the lab had already disappeared (inconsiderate little shit). I had to hammer on the glass window till some guy noticed me from the outside. I just hope he’s not a Psych student too.

  • Set fire to my first self-cooked dinner
    How was I to know that fried steak’s so flammable? Lucky it happened in Wombat’s kitchen and not mine, since there’s a $300 fine for setting off the smoke alarm in my house. Note to self: blowing on a flaming pan only makes it worse.

  • Be groped by some perv on a bicycle
    In hindsight, “Dammit, he's ugly” should probably not have been my initial reaction.

Categories: ,


but i've never set my food on fire, before. and i have a green thumb. i grow most of my groceries - ginger, onions, potatoes, garlic. or it looks that way, somehow.
» bUttsH4k3r ( on 2006-02-08 01:15:30

Damn, sheila. Get your fine booty down to Sydney.
» Paul ( on 2006-02-08 01:42:58

Was it at least an expensive looking bicycle?
» Jay ( on 2006-02-08 03:42:27

» KE ( on 2006-02-08 04:54:27

buttsH4k3r: I glare at your smugness.

Paul: Not you too!

Jay: Sadly, no. I might have felt better about it if it was though. Just like I'd rather be hit by a Z4 than a Kancil.

KE: You laugh at sexual harrassment?! *Mutters* You think you'd know someone after ten years...
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-08 08:59:05

Wat next? 4-way orgy in the said Kancil?
» Beer Brat ( on 2006-02-08 10:06:53

Did he really grope you or was it more of a brush? I brushed by accident a few times and I felt horrible about it. It is better to be knocked down by a Z4 and I'll tell you why. If you jump high enough and the car goes fast enough, you'll clear the car completely . . . if you don't clear it however, the shape of the Z4 allows for safer rolling, whereas a Kancil would break into a kazillion pieces and shower you with glass and whatnot. =) Oh yeah, it looks better as well. Nice to know that Perth keeps you busy =)
» KE ( on 2006-02-08 09:34:03

Groped? Sounds kinda kinky.
» JJ ( on 2006-02-08 10:20:37

maybe it's the uncle that did the xray for u..he followed you to perv...perth.. =P
» kinkmaster ( on 2006-02-08 11:15:41

forget about the steak. Try soup....... soup is not flammable ......and blowing definitely helps. ask souplad to give u some ideas. on a second tot, perhaps have some soup simmering while u doing steak, just in case the steak starts to flame, extinguish it with the soup.
» souplad ( on 2006-02-09 02:54:14

Oh no. Once you get your student card, buy a fire extinguisher for the kitchen, and rent a port-a-loo for your lawn, life will just turn dull, dull dull!!!
» Laynie ( on 2006-02-09 07:22:56

Beer Brat: I'll have to find a Kancil here first.

KE: I think I'd know the difference between a brush and an ass-grab. And considering you're the only one I know who drives a Z4, are you sure you'd really like to risk denting your car on me? :D

JJ: If he wasn't so dead ugly, yes, it might've been kinky. And I can't access The Churning!!! My dickleshit uni connection's blocked it due to inappropriate/objectionable content! I'm suspect it might be the Santa pic that did it...

kinkmaster: Now that you mention it...

souplad: Soup...sounds a bit dangerous that. I'll probably scald myself so badly they'll have to amputate my arm. Btw, your link doesn't work.

Laynie: Thank god for the pervy cyclists then.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-09 07:54:42

Ass grab? . . I would have hurled stones at him as he cycled away, about the car . . . good point.
» KE ( on 2006-02-09 06:24:40

KE: Hmm, yes. I shall make a mental note to keep stones in my pocket for that very reason. Unfortunately, cyclists are required by law to wear helmets here, so I won't be able to do much damage. Maybe the Swiss Army knife?
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