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One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with.

Ogden Nash
Warm Me Up
Thursday. 2.2.06 11:23 pm
"Darling!" My father called out as he stepped through the front door. "I got you a going-away gift!"

I ran to fling myself into his arms. He bought it! After weeks of wheedling and Daddy-pleeeeeeeeease!ing, he finally bought my Stella McCartney Running Trail Fleece with handwarmers!

"Err, no. Not the jacket. It's something a bit more practical."

I skidded to a halt, confused. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE PRACTICAL THAN HANDWARMERS?!


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17 Comments.


i admit - i laughed real hard. heh, heh, heh.
» bUttsH4k3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-02-02 09:22:07

LoL. Oh my god. Well, I quess you can use it to cut down a tree and use the magnifying glass to start a fire....

Don't you just feel bad when your parents buy you a gift you didn't really want, and you have to act happy so you don't hurt their feelings? That's one reason I hate christmas.
» DeeVeuS on 2006-02-02 10:31:51

bUttsh4k3r: Glad you were amused. I cut my thumb trying to get everything open (and failed with two of 'em). There's a bloody saw in there!

DeeVeus: No, no. I like it. It's good to know that I won't be stuck if I need to scale fish or strip a wire or disgorge a hook.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-02 10:45:50

i hope them thumbs are fine! looks sweet though. i can't imagine lugging it around though. unless of couse, i had a handbag i sppose.
» bUttsH4k3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-02-02 02:44:00

It'll probably come in handy when you've been captured by Cuban drug runners and you're tied up in a shack in the middle of the jungle with a ticking nuclear bomb strapped to your ass. Wait I forgot - you're NOT McGyver. Oh well, at least it's got a wine corkscrew. And yeah, those blades are SHARP. I accidentally touched one lightly once and bled like a bastard everywhere.
» Jay (217.37.171.17) on 2006-02-02 04:34:48

Oh my! I recently bought one for my dad at the 199 (it usually costs 355 or sumthing). It also comes with a miniature (which I carry around to snip the spaghetti straps of bitchy queens). Rest assured you could can start a forest fire, write home, pick your teeth & cut your fingers all at the same time. Mine is an elegant ivory white & and its most used as the can opener ;oP
» AJ (219.95.242.164) on 2006-02-02 06:31:23

bUttsH4k3r: Thumb is still ouchy, thanks. You'd think that these things would come with a bandaid dispenser.

Jay: I live in mortal fear of catching one of my fingers under a blade as I snap it down.

AJ: You actually know how to use the can opener? O_o I can only work the snap 'n twist sort. What were you, a boy scout? If I were stranded on a desert island with a crate of tinned food and this knife, I'd still starve.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-02 07:45:41

Oh hey Owww... The can opener's kinda sharp too.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-02 07:48:47

haha!! u cant beat practicality!! btw, u and I have the same thing goin on to comment... "spank me" and are u from Taylors SAM Year 03? i swear I've seen you around!!
» Shan (219.94.61.127) on 2006-02-03 12:08:31

That jacket over a thousand swiss army knives. Anytime. The jacket is gorgeous. And I hate Swiss-army knives.
» Laynie (219.95.155.237) on 2006-02-03 04:46:03

Shan: So we do. Well, we know what'll happen if we ever meet. *Wicked grin* And yes actually, I was in SAM that year. Bloody hard work that. The only thing I miss about those days was the food around Taylors. I take it that you were in SAM too?

Laynie: It's actually about three swiss army knives. Which means that I can't trade it in. Ah well. I did want a SA knife...when I was nine. Still, at least he did remember that I wanted one once.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-03 08:07:23

Hey, I have a Victorinox swiss army too and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Well, maybe for Barry :) Paul
» Paul (219.95.230.3) on 2006-02-03 10:15:54

Paul: Who would need a Swiss Army saw to cut through a branch trapping your leg when you can have a Big Bicep Barry, capable of snapping it (branch, not leg) in half with his bare hands?
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-03 10:11:01

There are about 5 SA knives in my household. Including one I own but have never used for anything other than once as an emergency nail file (first and last time, baby).
» Laynie (219.95.155.237) on 2006-02-04 01:23:13

Laynie: What you need is one that comes with all sorts of cookie-baking utensils - mini cookie cutter, piping thing, little spatula for shoveling the baked cookies off the tray...you get the idea.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-04 12:20:05

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