theZEBRA's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

(Piratey) Arr, I'm back. After I finally remembered the network key to my connection.

So what have I been up to for the past week (besides collecting ang pows and gorging myself silly on Chinese New Year cookies)?

//Btw, Happy (Belated) Chinese New Year!//

I've been agonising over a lump on Pukeyface. It's not really all that big, but on a Pukeyface-sized dog, it’s worrying enough. Because it's fugly and it might be a tumour.

But mainly because it's fugly.

So it was off to the vet again. (Speaking of which, I honestly don't understand the dog. The only reason she ever gets a car ride is for a trip to the vet. And yet she constantly just about dribbles herself with sheer excitement when I open the car door for her. But I suppose allowances have to be made – after all, there can only be so much brain in that tiny a head.)

Back to the vet. Who took cell samples from the lump with a massive needle and analysed it while I entertained myself with the uber-cool weighing scale out front. Very fun things those, just like the ones at the airport’s baggage check-in counter. Though I have to say, airport personnel aren’t as nice as they used to be. When I was a kid, no one ever told me off for hopping onto a conveyer belt.

But yes, Pukeyface’s lump. Well, the vet thinks that it might not be a tumour after all. In fact, it’s most likely a Fat Lump. Which is just as disgusting as it sounds. It’s not in the least bit dangerous, but it will never disappear.

My dog will be hideous forever.

If it was just a tumour, at least I could have it surgically-removed. But the vet doesn’t advise putting her through surgery just for cosmetic reasons.

“Hah.” I muttered later. “She's not the one who has to go to sleep every night knowing that there’s a Fat Lump barely five inches away from her.” But I suppose she’s right. I’d look a real bitch if I let my dog die on an operating table just so I can sleep better.

Besides really, I love my Pukeyface, Fat Lump and all.

Just as long as the FL doesn’t grow any bigger.

Categories: Family Matters [t]

get your dog in a robe and cart her off for shipping! or something.
» bUttsH4k3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-01-31 03:43:55

I'm not a fan of sleeping with fat lumps either. That's why I had to dump my last boyfriend. Well, that and the fact that he's a dick. I suppose giving your dog away and getting a new, non-deformed one is outta the question? It's, you know, worth considering.
» Jay (82.69.108.126) on 2006-02-01 12:00:37

buttsH3k3r: Shipping where?! Who would poke her paws in my stomach in the middle of the night then?

Jay: We're looking for a new dachshund as we speak. But a boyfriend might work too. A non fat lumpy one, that is.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-01 08:44:06

Aww so pukeyface as an extra lump - just means there's more of her to lurve :D
» Shan (60.48.96.121) on 2006-02-01 08:20:51

My cousin has a fatlump on his face too, Too bad he removed it before i could see it. Does it look ANYTHING like a horn?
» ephez (218.208.210.155) on 2006-02-02 04:06:35

Shan: If that Lump gets any bigger, I'll run out of love. :D

ephez:If your cousin's Fat Lump looked anything like a horn, you should be crying tears of gratitude that you didn't get to see it. And no, my hound does not look in the least bit demonic.
» theZEBRA on 2006-02-02 09:04:43

Quite right! It is good idea. I support you.
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» Jon (222.47.26.12) on 2010-09-06 09:38:12

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