I had an x-ray done today. I've been x-rayed before, but today was the first time in my entire life that I was confronted with one of the more terrifying aspects of the medical world.

The hospital gown.

A deceptively simple garment. Loose enough to be a one-size-fits-most, yet without the potential embarrassment of poking your head through a sleeve that usually accompanies other clothes of this fit.

It started off well enough:

      Take clothes off. Check

      Take bits of metal jewellery off. Check

      Stuff everything into little basket. Check

      Admire self in mirror. Check

      Choose a (prettier-coloured) gown. Check

      Poke arm through sleeve. Check

      Poke other arm through other sleeve. Check

      And finally, tie...hang on a minute...tie...ummm...TIE...

WTF? And then I realised that the stupid ties for the gown had been strategically placed right down the spine, where I'd have to dislocate shoulders, elbows, and fingers just to lace them up. Knotting the first pair itself took me a good ten minutes of protesting muscles and agonising contorting. But with a lot of painful stretching and impatient encouraging door-hammering from the radiologist, I finally managed to get everything done up.

Right. To the x-ray machine.

      Open door and smile apologetically. Check

      Pick up basket with belongings inside. Check

      Walk ahead of radiologist. Check

      Accidentally let necklace fall out of basket. Check

      Bend over to pick it up. Check

And that was when I discovered that the knots weren't quite as secure as I had thought.

Categories: Facepalm Moments [t]

I never knew that you get to pick the colour of the gown, and that you get to bring the basket of clothing out with you. But I sure avoided bending over in all circumstances. Haha.
» Princess Poo Poo (203.54.78.250) on 2006-01-23 09:53:15

Why tie the gown? Don't bother lah. It's a short procedure. Paul
» Paul (219.95.228.167) on 2006-01-23 10:12:33

You forgot the "over-the-shoulder bedroom eyes look" after bending over. And the "radiologist falls in love with patient, he then dates patient, later marries her, and lives happily ever after". But... whatever.
» DeeVeuS on 2006-01-23 10:16:07

OMG! *slaps forehead*
» pelf (60.48.71.115) on 2006-01-23 10:51:29

I absolutely agree with DeeVeus. You wasted a brilliant opportunity there. Now if you put ME in a gown...
» Jay (217.37.171.17) on 2006-01-23 12:31:14

you know, i've always imagined hospital robes as butt baring clothes thingies. was your butt bare-naked?
» bUttsHAk3r (62.252.224.16) on 2006-01-23 02:18:17

Yeah right - you did it on purpose admit it.
» US (62.254.128.6) on 2006-01-23 02:48:12

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Guess we won't be needing that x-ray anymore.
» Laynie (219.95.155.237) on 2006-01-23 04:25:18

Princess Poo Poo: It was a choice between naked molerat and a pooish yellow/brown.

Paul: Is that what you tell all your hot patients? Then again, once you knock them out, you could have your wicked way with them (if you don't mind an audience, that is).

DeeVeuS: Lovely story. Just one minor detail - radiologist was grand-dad-like and had v scary facial hair.

pelf: Oh yes. *Facewall*

Jay: ...you'd rip a hole in front as well. :D

buttsHAk3r: I'm not going back there again in a hurry. I did feel like a bit of an idiot after he told me that all I actually had to take off was my top and bra.

Fingers: You got me. :) It's not a good day if I don't get to give granddaddish doctors heart attacks.

Laynie: I was half-afraid that he'd call me back in for another one cuz the first one hadn't come out properly. When he didn't, I was just offended.
» theZEBRA on 2006-01-23 07:13:15

Nice. I hate those gowns, too. They're dresses.. or atleast, thats what I call 'em. The last time I had to wear one was about a week before I stopped playing football. Bad memories.
» Dilated on 2006-01-23 10:13:19

There is: 'Put gown on back to front.' *coughs*
» greavsie (86.142.226.90) on 2006-01-24 02:24:48

They should get someone to help to tie those knots... *looking up with rolling eyes* BTW I am good at knots...butterfly knots, fisherman's knot, chinese knots ........ knotty knotty.
» souplad (198.16.9.11) on 2006-01-24 06:29:28

Is this a happy ending? I suppose it all depends on how the radiologist felt about it, really.
» Katy Newton (62.253.64.16) on 2006-01-24 07:17:19

Dilated: I'm sorry for evoking those memories then. This will hopefully be my one and only gown post.

Greavsie: And expose (haha) myself as a noob?

souplad: You volunteering?

Katy: It might be if he ever recovers his eyesight.
» theZEBRA on 2006-01-25 05:10:54

r u sure that uncle is using an xray machine? sure it's not an xray video camera? lol...i'll laugh my gown off if i see ur image or video surface on voyeur websites..*oops*
» kinkmaster (203.106.114.11) on 2006-01-25 08:29:34

Have done the tag as instructed :D Interesting moonie - am sure the radiologist secretly got a kick outta it ;)
» Shan (60.52.22.84) on 2006-01-26 10:56:19

kinkmaster: Busted!

Shan: Excellent! Yes, I'm sure this is exactly the reason why he picked his profession.
» theZEBRA on 2006-01-31 04:13:43

Yes, all is logical
What remarkable question tramadol pills Excellent topic alprazolam online I consider, that you are mistaken. buy valium Remarkable idea and it is duly ultram online There was a mistake adipex no prescription 1988d6
» Aurelio (202.108.50.72) on 2010-09-03 04:15:35

And how it to paraphrase?
Curiously, and the analogue is? cheap xanax online Prompt, where I can find it? buy ultram It no more than reserve buy alprazolam There are also other lacks buy xanax bars Thanks for a lovely society. xanax xr 2mg 610c64
» Robin (124.195.2.46) on 2011-06-07 04:55:42

You have kept away from conversation
Useful piece cheap tramadol It agree, it is a remarkable phrase buy soma Where you so for a long time were gone? buy cheap ambien Yes, in due time to answer, it is important glucophage side effects It does not approach me. buy propecia 10c642f
» Nolan (200.125.243.122) on 2011-07-08 11:35:34

Name.

URL.

[to enter your email, use "mailto:[email protected]"]
Subject.

Comment.

Word verification.

Copy the first 4 characters only.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.