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theZEBRA Is Chewing On  Creation Gore Vidal Listening to:  Everything in Transit Jack's Mannequin Lick Those Stripes! I Be Gallopin' After Ye The Herd Zebra Poo Black Stripes, White Stripes Songs of the Plains
Family Court One would be in less danger From the wiles of a stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with. Ogden Nash | Pukeyface Sunday. 11.20.05 12:23 am haaAACKgurglegurgleHACKKKK! My dog has just hacked up on my rug. Not only will it stink up my room and leave a stain, it is also the sixth puddle of brown mess I have had to clean up. In the space of half an hour. I am annoyed. Because she puked on my rug, instead of hers. Because I've never had to approach a pool of vomit with newspapers in hand before tonight. And because I am also starting to worry. If I'd wanted to worry over puke puddles, I would have got myself pregnant instead. When I paid for the yipping, hyperactive runt seven years ago, I definitely didn't sign up for this. Dogs are for cuddling in bed (incidentally, so are guys...one of the few things they're good for, haha) and for eating unwanted veggies. And speaking of veggies, I suddenly remember that I had sneaked Pukeyface my celery sticks at dinner. Could it be the celery (which can certainly be puke-inducing)? Surely not, cuz that would mean that I’m to blame for the mess on my rug. And dammit, blame’s meant to be placed on other people/life-forms. Still, unless I want to sleep in a dirty bed tonight, perhaps it’s time for a visit to the vet. So I bundle Pukeyface into the car along with plastic bags, newspapers and a bucket. As I drive around looking for a vet, I realise that my dog might be really sick. I tell her, “Shit, I hope you’re not gonna But the clinics are all closed! WHAT A BUNCH OF ‘CKING SLACKERS! Then it occurs to me that it’s now past ten pm. And this means that: a. All vets (except one) are probably home in bed, cuddling up to their non-pukey dogs. But still, SLACKERS! b. The only vet not in bed is a good 45 minutes’ drive away. c. My dog has lousy timing. Three wrong turns and five false alarms later, we finally pull up in front of the animal hospital. It’s in one of the dodgier areas and there’s a massive grill blocking the entrance. I ring the bell and wait. And wait. No one buzzes me in. I’m starting to feel a little nervous. If someone mugs me right now, there’s no one else (apart from other muggers) around. And with Pukeyface in her current state, the worst she can do is to give the mugger soggy shoes. Bzzz! Thank god. We scurry inside. In the bright lights of the reception area, I notice something else. Pukeyface now has a swollen rear end and has broken out in smaller, but equally swollen spots everywhere else. OHMYGOD! I just had her in my arms and what if she’s contagious and I break out in spots and is it bird flu and did she give it to me?!!! And just then, my phone rings. It’s my dad. “We just found a bee near Pukeyface’s rug. She probably got stung.” Is that it? The vet agrees. Definitely a bee sting. Not stings, mind you. Sting. I roll my eyes at Pukeyface. What an attention-seeker. Three jabs later and it’s all over. The bloody dog doesn’t even stay awake to keep me company on the drive home. But yeah yeah, I have to confess that I’m very relieved that she’s gonna be fine. But she’s definitely not sleeping in my bed tonight. Categories: Family Matters [t] 14 Comments. Bee sting? How does a dog get a bee sting. Ouch! paul » Paul (219.95.185.198) on 2005-11-19 07:22:49 So kesian!!! (Both you and the dog. you for having to clean up her puke). you let your dog sleep in your bed? wow....the only thing that sleeps in my bed are my pillows. and my handphone. crap. i just realized how very pathetic that sounds. I should get a dog. » Qian (203.121.0.19) on 2005-11-20 01:13:00 Aww poor Pukeyface. Hope it's feeling better now. I got stung by a bee on my foot last month and while it didn't hurt too bad (cos I was wearing thick socks), my chest started to hurt and I was wheezing for about 5 minutes. Scary. Again, hope Pukeyface is fine now. I can relate. » Shan (218.208.233.176) on 2005-11-20 08:02:25 Paul: By considering anything moving and smaller than she is as food. Qian: Yes, you should. Or a guy. But you have one of those already.
Shan: O_o, that IS scary. You should go around in a beekeeper's outfit from now on. And pukeyface is fine now, thanks for asking. I'd like to say that she's learnt her lesson, but I found a half-eaten roach outside just this morning.
Jay: A dog after my own heart...the anti-kids part, not the beheading.
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