It’s a well-known fact that rock stars are a sexually active lot. One might argue that this shagathonic tendency of theirs is simply nature’s way of increasing musical talent in the human gene pool. If this be the case, it’s no wonder that where a rock god such as one David Eric Grohl is concerned, thousands of groupies are lining up for copulation privileges.

But for every tumble that Grohl lands, there is always the possibility that something unplanned for might occur. Something that only makes an appearance nine months later. That something is a Grohlaby. Brought into this world through special circumstances (e.g. drunken orgies, faulty rubbers), a Grohlaby is a miniature rocker-to-be with Grohlic talent hidden somewhere deep beneath its folds of baby fat. Sadly though, this unique breed is in danger. Lacking a father in their lives, these love children may never discover the immense well of talent lurking inside just waiting to be released. Of course, this is through no fault of their biological father. Such a glorious god as Dave Grohl cannot be expected to be tied down to one mate, thus limiting the spawning of his seed.

And so, the G.R.O.S.S. was born.



We here at G.R.O.S.S. aim to protect and care for these gems which have been gifted to us. This is achieved by providing the best possible environment for a Grohlaby to grow up in, one with the proper care and guidance that befits such a child. As soon as the birth of one of these is detected, the Grohlaby is tracked down and tagged. A radio collar is also attached to the child so that its progress can be recorded. Later, at suitable intervals in the Grohlaby’s life, certain elements will be introduced to aid the molding of a rock god. These elements can include various factors like an idol/father figure, bandmates, an angsty childhood, and other such influences. In some cases, the Grohlaby is even retrieved and raised in captivity. Only when conditions improve to become more suitable is the Grohlaby released back to its natural surroundings.

Evidently, the costs of our efforts are quite substantial. As a non-profit organisation, we rely solely on donations from the public to help us fund our operations. So do your part and be a friend of the G.R.O.S.S. today.

Both cash and cheque donations accepted.

Categories: Misc [t]

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