my dad always told me "money doesn't buy you happiness, but it helps."

i think he was right.

i don't like living the life of a lower class citizen. i hate having to pay every month towards property that i don't own. it sucks. i want to own a house, and fill it with my things. then at least my money will be going towards something i actually own.

i also feel like i'm getting slightly left behind by my friends. they all seem to do and like doing things that i don't now. it's not like they are not my friends anymore, but it's just that they do things without me. and it's not for lack of trying; they ask me to do these things with them. but because i'm poor... or because i physically am unable due to past injuries... i can't go hanging around in bars or joining softball or bowling leagues.

one of my best friends used to hang out with me and play music on mondays. that was one of his days off of work, and an evening where i was free. but now all of my friends decided that monday would be the perfect day to start up a softball league. so now i've got no one to play music with on mondays. my friends who aren't playing softball live too far away to hang out with on a regular basis.

so i've got no money, and dwindling friends. oh, and i am not a huge fan of my job. i'm tired of waiting on customers, and i'm tired of barely being able to pay bills each month.

our rent is going up in june by $130. what a ridiculous increase. now there's no way i'm going to be able to save any money. and if i move, well that's a huge pain, and if i want to live in a cheaper apartment, then i risk getting bugs, mice, shot, or stabbed.

so what the hell am i supposed to do? i feel so helpless.

sorry that this entry isn't amusing or funny, guys. i'll make it up to you.

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