Now to Think of Something...

watching: NCIS
mood: bittersweet

So, I've lost 11.5 lbs so far on the diet.

But I spend most of my time like this guy:

, which is fine, because I actually love exercise (who'd've thunk?).

But Asher ran away this morning. I'm really worried. I can't go looking for him on foot because I live in a suburban maze with "the most confusing and retarded layout ever", according to a friend who was trying to find my place a few weeks ago. So I have to wait until Kelly gets home with her car, and I'm absolutely terrified that I'm going to find my dog on the side of the road. Not only is he my favourite person in the whole house, but my mother left me in charge of the dogs when she left for the week. Admittedly, I didn't stand much chance of stopping a 150 lb. great dane and an 80 lb. black lab from getting out once the door was open, if they really wanted to go, but... I still feel like it was my fault. Actually, it was. I could've told them to stay before I opened the door. I guess I figured they already knew the drill.

Also, I went for a job interview on Saturday. I'm really hoping I get it. I thought I did well. I thought I seemed confident and charming, but I haven't heard anything yet.

7 months and 2 days, and it's still surreal. I didn't expect to miss him that much. I mean, he's my dad, and I knew I would miss him, but... I thought I was tough, right? lol

My step-dad keeps sending me conservative propaganda via e-mail. I don't even know how he got my e-mail, and I wish I could tell him to stop, but I'm too much of a coward to stand up to the man even through the internet. Weird, being afraid of a man I haven't seen in 3 years, but justified, maybe.

*sigh*

I'm rambling on all different topics today. Truth be told, I'm more writing a blog because it'd been awhile since I posted than because I had something to say. Putting quantity over quality? Or making sure I don't give it up, as I am prone to do? That's me, I guess. The girl who puts her whole heart into things until she finds something new. Interesting quirk or devastating flaw?

Sometimes I just wanna get a hug and be told everything will be alright, and I don't care if I'm being cliche. God, I could use a boyfriend.

Speaking of boys and (hopefully) future boyfriends, Will got a job. He also passed his exams, which means he can finish his degree. I'm really happy for him.

Even if it does mean he's gon' be too busy to talk to me as often.

'Cause, hey, he feels productive, and happy, and like a real man, and that's important to him. And I can deal with only talking to him two or three days a month if that's all he can manage, cause I know he will make time for me, because he cares about me. Because I am pretty and sweet and funny and smart and excellent at overusing "and". And, surprisingly, none of what I just said was bullshit. Wow.

My confidence really HAS gotten way better. Two years ago, I was the type of insecure that needed compliments from two or three different men to feel even ok about myself. Now, I know I'm ok. Most days. But it's an improvement. Still... it'd be nice to actually meet in person this man I like so much. Stupid ephin' ocean.

So... just for the record... all the things I've improved about myself in the last few months: I quit smoking. I quit biting my nails. My confidence is way better. I clean (most of the time) when I'm supposed to. I'm losing weight and getting all in shape and muscled. *flexes* OK, so I'm not exactly Schwarzenegger, but I don't wanna look like I've OD'd on testosterone, anyway. I just wanna stop jiggling and be healthy.

I'm going to stop rambling now. I'm only doing it to distract myself, anyway. *sigh* Where IS that dumbshit dog?

Congrats on the weight loss!!
» Mockiller on 2009-09-24 12:16:21

yeah, congrats!

also, that dog is awesome.
» thaitanic on 2009-09-24 12:13:40

Did you find Asher?
» Steve (84.66.17.218) on 2009-09-24 05:46:11

We found him.
The pads on all of his paws are shredded from walking through brambles and such, but he's just fine otherwise. I, however, am outrageously sunburnt from canvassing the neighbourhood and putting up flyers. But it's worth it.
» squid on 2009-09-25 10:52:23

i'm glad you found him.

btw, you love emoticons.
» thaitanic on 2009-09-25 11:09:49

I'm glad you found Asher. Saw your fb today. :]
» zana on 2009-09-25 03:35:44

I sometimes love emoticons, and sometimes not. lol

I find that it's difficult to just use one in a post. It's like Pringles. Once you pop 'em, you just can't stop 'em. Or something like that.
» squid on 2009-10-03 09:29:15

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