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Speak to My Finger
Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Family, r we?
Monday, January 30, 2012
I'm impressed with my mum.

She read me well.

She nailed that I won't bother having reunion dinner with her siblings.

I asked her how did she deduce that answer.

Simple. She replied that I have labeled them as trash.

I believe in the goodness of people, but there are times I am harsh. I have sharp tongue, but I'm no longer afraid to speak out.

My uncle and auntie invited my family for a reunion dinner on the last day of Chinese New Year. I don't look forward, but for the sake of kinship, I will bite the bullet and sail through the morbid atmosphere dinner like every other year.

The news came to a shock this evening, because they demanded my family to pay for the reunion dinner given they have been paying for the past two years.

My response was "FCUK THEM."

I was surprised with my slippery tongue. I have never used such words in front of my mum. I don't even use them to begin with except in scrabble.

I never expected my uncle to be that low. The Chinese always say we have to be magnanimous. And this is a scary sign of decay in family relationship.

My mum is the most disappointed one. She spent her youth to support her two siblings and this is how her younger brother and sister treat her. I have no words to console her. I have no such medicine to stop the bleeding from a knife wound. My uncle is now a successful man in his career. What is wrong with paying back the kindness you were once given?

My sister replied she can't afford to pay the reunion dinner. My auntie was lucky to not have me answering the call, for my reply will be the four letter word. Uncle and auntie can spread the news how ill-mannered I am, but God knows me better. Have you not heard of the golden thumb rule?

I sometimes ponder why people change for the worse. I don't remember my uncle being such a bitter person. I used to admire him. He used to be my favourite relative. He and my auntie used to shower my sister and I with gifts. When did the distance between us began to sprout?

Yes, the moment he politely said I was too stupid to get a scholarship. The moment she said I should listen to my father to decline the scholarship, perhaps it was a scam. Why would a college offer a scholarship to a stupid person like me?

I often ponder deeply. What is family for when you have such type of people?

My family is indeed a small unit to begin with. And with many more relatives dropping like flies. It makes me feel more of a stranger in my family tree.

This year, my mum and I decided to totally close doors to all relatives for Chinese New Year. It is a disheartening decision for it's a time to reunite and exchange stories with family members from far away. It is a time to be happy and forget all the worrisome bottling in us. Yet, for my family, we do not have the luxury to have such joyful moments.

I would not have the chance to experience the cheerful atmosphere like my Chinese friends always do ...

We learn to forgive, but we won't forget what they had done to us.

"To be happy is to be forgetful"


We will try to give way to store new happy memories ... because they are not worth even a miniscule storage space in our mind.
1 Comments.


i totally get where you are coming from.
people say blood is thicker than water.
but in reality, I feel that those who are truly part of your family love, support and have faith in you.

anyways, that is a similar situation my family is in. No gratitude towards my parents, who sacrificed everything to keep my relatives from losing their house. Ugh, it's really annoying to think about family problems.
» dannixfresh on 2012-01-30 02:52:23

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