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Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Independent
Friday, November 20, 2009
What does independent mean to you?

It means I do everything on my own; with my brain, fingers and even toes. But it doesn't exclude of not asking help. If you think my definition of independent is too selfish.

It struck me yesterday that my mother dislike my independency. We were at our usual coconut water stall getting our coconute supply. And the seller had a usual visitor who likes to rape his ears about his woes on his family like why does my student son keep asking me for money? Ridiculous. That's because the son is not working yet!!

And so .. that woe-woe guy commented to my mum "How nice to have daughters. Can talk like sisters..." My mum shot back "Yea right. This daughter (referring to me) is not nice to talk to. You ask her things she tell you to shut up. This girl is too independent. My other daughter is much better to talk to."

My reaction? Nothing. Not stun. Just plain nothing. Because I know all along that she doesn't really like me.

The woeful guy and the seller replied "Isn't it good to have an independent daughter. You can have less worries."

My mother sneered. She replied "Yea right. Too independent is not good."

I think I really felt like replying " *BEEP* OFF." No wonder I got scolded for not letting her take my blazer to the laundry.

The reason I want to curse is I have been scolded for all my life ever since I was born that I was good for nothing and she has to work her ass off to take care of the family. And in return... she got nothing... Because of all this scolding, I was dying to be independent ever since I was back in primary school. And now I could say I'm happy to live independently in the way I want. I hate to be scolded for something it is/was not my fault. It's synonym to cursing my existence in this world. You wanted kids. And here I am. So shut up and deal with it.

And I hated bitchy aunties and girlfriends telling me "Guys don't like girls to be so independent." So *BEEP* Off. I won't die if I don't have a husband or a boyfriend. I will die if I don't have money.

I never knew being independent could hurt someone. It's not I don't want to be a "burden" to other people but it's just I ought to take care of myself? And you can't blame me when I grew up in an environment that forced me to grow up.

So for my mother ... sorry I can't help her. I can't change who I am to suit her personality and thinking. And I won't change or degrade myself just because I'm not 'align' with society's norm. I will only improve to be better. Screw you.

So do you like yourself to be independent? Or you just want to be everyone's post-it-note sticker board?
7 Comments.


hello
dont worry that ur mom scold u for nothing...in her heart she love u one....last time when me small kid...always kena rotan by my mom one...say me not smart lah and lazy lah...sometimes they wanna play low profile and dunwan to show off to others...
» via (116.197.36.196) on 2009-11-20 11:19:52

I like being independent. It feels awesome!
» Nuttz on 2009-11-21 07:06:34

I like your metaphor of "Or you just want to be everyone's post-it-note sticker board?". Well said! In fact i like to be independent ever since i can start to make decision on my own and it even become obvious when i started to drive on my own. Being independent no doubt is a good thing, but i guess that is harmless if you listen to some good advices sometimes.
» sdovelly.wordpress.com (203.115.246.37) on 2009-11-22 10:10:37

I enjoy being independent :).

But guess some moms just think a female should be more dependent and that we should marry a guy and be a housewife...
» (60.50.82.237) on 2009-11-23 11:22:45

Wow my name went missin ginthe previous post haha.
» ladyviral (60.50.82.237) on 2009-11-23 11:23:24

Hey renaye no new post for some time dy, busy?
» sdovelly.wordpress.com (203.115.246.37) on 2009-12-02 12:32:21

It is remarkable, this amusing opinion
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» Gerry (60.217.232.45) on 2010-09-03 01:54:03

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