So the Australian Open is going on and I loves me some tennis. I can't play for shit, but I like watching it on TV. I also love listening to the players scream like they're trying to shoot something out of their orifices with incredible force every time they hit the ball.

In all of my tennis experience (which is to say, all of my third-hand tennis experience from watching it on the telly), I have noticed that the best players move the ball around like it's nobody's business. You don't want to become uber-predictable and hit the ball at the same place all the time, right? Well, if living were tennis, the best player would be Life Itself, because when it hits those tennis balls at you, you never know where they're going to go. Another big part of tennis, then, is trying to anticipate where your opponent is going to hit the ball. When playing against Life, it can be a bit disorienting trying to pre-empt it, but as you get older and more experienced, you get better at that (or at least try your hardest to do so).

Sometimes it feels like a losing situation and after two and a half hours of play, you might not feel like even playing anymore and just want to give up. You're worn down and can barely lift the damn racquet and have no desire whatsoever to run back and forth, much less to hit the damn ball, and you can think of nothing but just retiring the match. And some people might just do that, saying that it's better to admit when you're defeated and just walk away to play another day. But I'd much rather keep going at it, even if I know I'm going to lose, because playing the game gives you experience, gives you practice, and even when you know you'll lose, the upshot is that you will learn something from the experience. (Hopefully.) Besides, along the way, you might score a point or two against Life, which never feels bad and just feeds the fire inside.

And no matter how good Life is, it's still not as difficult to play against as a wall. Just ask Mitch Hedberg: "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, you'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once; it's fucking relentless." So whenever you get beat down by Life on the courts, just keep telling yourself that it can eventually be beaten if you just keep at it. This is not the case playing against a fucking wall.

I've heard my teachers piss... it's just awkward.
» ikimashokie on 2007-01-22 06:14:27

orifices, huh?
hahahaha...

That's great. I LOVE tennis. I used to play tennis often, but I'm starting to suck for lack of practice. Thing is I have no one to practice with. The last few people I've had to "practice" with are people who can hardly even HIT the ball.
Still love tennis, though.

And he's right. That stupid wall wins every time. I hate it.
» elessar257 on 2007-01-22 08:04:21

I was thinking of mitch through the first part of the entry, I'm glad you put him in there. I was also thinking that Pringles originally sold tennis balls, but one day a large shipment of potatoes showed up. Now Pringles was a pretty laid-back company, so they were like, "Fuck it. Cut 'em up!"

That being said, Mario Tennis is the way to go.

That being said, keep on playing, my brother.
» Zanzibar on 2007-01-22 08:27:22

I like tennis but I can't play very well. Watching others play is much better. I've played against the wall before and what you say is really true.. I lose all the time. The way you make life as a game of tennis, is nice, I never thought of that before.
» Nuttz on 2007-01-22 08:59:27

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