Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Memores acti prudentes futuri


I want to be wrong, but
no one here wants to fight me
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
"You're not my type"
Thursday, November 2, 2017
Ran 1.5 miles and did Turbo Kick today. Think I need to give my legs a rest. They feel a bit... stiff. Could also be that I'm not eating enough, though. On a good day I manage two meals, plus a protein bar and a green smoothie... It's hard to eat more than that. I know I need to in order to get stronger, but the motivation to force myself to eat isn't there. Plus we don't have a kitchen right now, which adds a layer of difficulty to my appetite problems.

---

I was looking at someone's Facebook page tonight, and it struck me, as it has before, that I'm tethered to this one body, to this one perspective. Not 'perspective' as in opinion, but like, I can only see out of these eyes, only feel with this skin, only hear with these ears, and so on. It feels... so confining.

It's weird to feel so unfamiliar with that confinement. You'd think I'd be used to it, given that it's the only thing I've ever really experienced for most of my waking hours. I say "most" and not "all" because there were some times during... traumatic... events where I was pretty strongly depersonalized and felt like I was watching myself in the third person. I don't really know how to explain it to a general audience though... And things are rarely in first person in my dreams. I guess it's like a video game, where you can shift between first person and third person perspectives, except that in my dreams, often there just isn't a "me" anymore. No body, no presence. Just watching things that other people are doing, and occasionally becoming them.

Tonight while I was videochatting with Sean I decided to purge my Facebook friends list again. I cut five people, which I guess was... 8.3% of my total? Considering cutting more soon. There is limited social space in my life and I don't want to keep a line open to anybody who isn't worthwhile.

---

We are remodeling parts of my house, and my dad finds the contractor we're working with very irritating, because the man is imprecise. My dad told me that the quickest way to make an engineer angry is to approximate and bullshit about stuff you don't know, and this contractor does that a lot. The man has been late by several hours and seemed barely familiar with the contract that my dad drew up, plus he said the electrical stuff was "ready for inspection" even though not everything is connected yet. I don't know if I've ever seen my dad get this annoyed at anybody before. I've only even seen him get angry a few times in my life, maybe three if this contractor stuff counts.

It made me think about how being the daughter of an engineer has influenced me. I have a strong aversion to ambiguity and like things to be laid out clearly and precisely. Vagueness and noncommittal answers are annoying. People who aren't on time are annoying. Inconsistency is annoying. That overly relaxed "go with the flow" attitude is annoying. I mean, none of this is annoying to the point where I'd actually get enraged with people, but I do notice it, and I don't like it. When I'm making plans I like to have the exact date, time, location, etc. figured out ahead of time as much as possible.

Now on the other hand, my mom is an art teacher... so she's a strange contrast to my dad. She isn't thorough, composed, exact, or consistent. Not saying I'm all of those things either, but I definitely lean more to that side than to my mom's side. She embodies a lot of the traits that annoy me, which is why I've learned that I have to keep a certain distance from her to avoid being extremely frustrated all the time. Then again, she does have a lot of social skills, so I guess there's balance there.

I'm somewhere between my mom and my dad, and I don't know what kind of person would complement me...

---

This scene from Happiness keeps replaying in my head.

This isn't working.
0 Comments.

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.

randomjunk's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.116seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.