ESSAYS IN LOVE ~ BY ALAIN DE BOTTEN


*I just wanted to share a few passages from this novel with you because I think it is true how we perceive love, in a philosophical way. It explains love so intrically. If you enjoy these passages, I shall post the rest I have selected in 'writings'. If you really want to read it for yourself...borrow the book from your local library!!*

We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone beautiful, intelligent and witty as we are ugly, stupid and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide that they will love us back? We can only be shocked - how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?
(Sweetie...that is y I continue to ask..."why u chose me?")

Perhaps it is true that the easiest ppl to fall in love with are those who tell us very little about themselves beyond what we can read from their face or voice. In fantasy, a person is endlessly, love-ably malleable.
(Somehow that is the case...y is that? curiosity?)

In the oasis complex, the thirsty man imagines he sees water, palm trees and shade not because he has evidence for the belief, but because he has a need for it. Desperate needs bring about the hallucination of their solution: thirsts hallucinates water, the need for love hallucinates the ideal man or woman.
(That's what falling in love tooo FAST means...)

Aware of the other's characteristics, we acquired a need to rename one another. Love finds us with a name it did not invent, a name given to us by parents at birth and formalized by passports and civl registers. Given the uniqueness the lover locates, is it not natural it should find expression in the name others do not use?The importance of these nicknames lay not in the particular name we had landed on...but in the fact we had chosen to relabel one another in the first place.
(awwww...my boo_bum lol!)

Everyone returns us to a different sense of ourselves, for we become a little of who they think we are.
(Hmmm...I wonder if I have changed myself to be alike you, F)

Romantic nostalgia decends when we are faced with those who might have been our lovers, but whom chance has decreed we will never know. The possibility of an alternative love life is a reminder that the life we are leading is only one of a myriad of possible lives: it is perhaps the impossibility of leading them all that plunges us into sadness.
(Have u eva felt this way anyone? The extreme step is - "cheating"!!! But it is normal, I think to feel that way sometimes...)

The tradgedy of love is that it does not escape the temporal dimensions. When one is with a current lover, there is a particular cruelty in the thought of one's indifference towards past loves. There is something appalling in the idea that the person for whom you would sacrifice anything for today might in a few months cause you to cross the road to avoid them.
(I wish this never has to happen...the "let's still be friends" pack between ex-lovers...does that ever work?)

And even if we are beautiful and rich, then we do not wish to be loved on account of these things, for they may fail us, and with them, love. I would prefer you to compliment me on my brain than on my face, but if you must, then I would rather you comment on my smile (motor and muscle control) than on my nose (static and tissue based).
(No one tell me I'm beautiful cuz it is just mockery to me...sorry..)

The desire is that I be loved even if I lost everything: leaving nothing but 'me', this mysterious 'me' taken to be the self at its weakest, most vunerable point. Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but Do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test. but Do you love me stripped of everything that might be lost, for only the things I will have for ever?
(I'm glad to have someone know my weaknesses and accept me regardless for them...)

*These are just a few phrases taken from the book...which is one of the best reads I think. This author really takes the time to examine the intricacies of love by dissecting or cross-sectionally view the emotion. Very moving stuff*

thannks giirl~~
i loove your entries! >>especially this one. T_T veriii moving stuffff
» kawaiiHiroii on 2004-10-30 02:06:20

so hard to put feelings into words
» Koban on 2004-10-30 10:10:41

those passages r reali meaningful! some jus express wad i felt after goin thru de ups n down in r/s! sigh..i guess we nv get a right answer yea? it all lies within us?
» xinyi0121 on 2004-10-31 08:15:23

Kawaiihiroii~ I'm glad u liked this entry :) I thought it was something meaningful that everyone could relate to.
» murasaki*dream on 2004-10-31 06:15:13

Koban and xinyi0121~ yes it is hard to put feelings into words that's y when i read this book i was so impressed by the way the author could translate such an emotion. We can never really get the right answers...but I chose these phrases becuz they applied "somewhat" to my r'ships with ppl. If u read the book maybe u can find some understanding for yourself and it will put ur heart at ease :) take care all!!!!
» murasaki*dream on 2004-10-31 06:17:56

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