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*The things that are written in my blog are full of feeling, emotions and ideas that aren't usually displayed by myself in reality. Some will be shocked and surprised at my expressiveness and may take it the wrong way. The only things that are said here are the truth and not meant to hurt anyone but to just get my feelings out there. Pls understand this is my way of speaking out my heart and I do not intend any hurt. Please leave now if you feel that I'm being unreasonable...but this is me...*

My sexy friends on a luxe night
from left: Jess, Jason & Mel


Age. 38
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. chinese
Location perth, Australia
School. Other
» More info.
Faye Wong

Eyes on Me

I never sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
I never said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You`d always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you`re never hurt
As if you`re never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you`re holding back
Or pain if that`s what it is
How can I let you know
I`m more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you`re not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you`re never hurt
As if you`re never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
Faye Wong -Eyes on me

Thank you ~ and goodbye...not foreva!
Tuesday. 11.9.04 4:48pm
mood: *sniff*

Thank you all to my furry friends for being so loyal and warm :) I have loved evey single one of your comments. It is now a sad time for me to leave murasaki*dream...but hey it won't be like I left cuz I have new blog up and going! hehehe!

I did try blogspot.com out for a bit, but just couldn't get used to the process there and liked it here where it is comfy. :) I really hope to hear from you guys again in my new blog. I will definitely drop by yours to comment every now and then.

Hope the next blog will be as much as a success, I hope I still got things to say...hehehe. It's a new chapter in my life. Thanks to Murasaki*dream I have remained sane and a huge thanks and I couldn't have kept blogging with out - Nutang ppl and friends. ^_^ ***HUGS*** Love u guys!!

If you wish to read on the new chap of my nutang please go to von-nation

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Friday. 11.5.04 9:53 pm
I have finished my last presentation for this yr! YES! I'm so glad becuz one thing I can't stand is group work when your members will not do SHIT all. Does anyone feel like you have to complete other ppl's task becuz they know that you care about it more than they do. SO ANNOYING!!! >_< One girl in my team met with the rest of us, an house before our presentation to wrap things up. OMG!!!

My other team mate had chosen pink/purple background for our powerpoint template when our topic was 'office admin - workplace design'. Our lecturer is a pompour idiot/Male-chauvanist pig...and we were wearing cute pinks tops for our speech. Hmmm...it worked surprisingly well...we thought that our feminity would cause our marks to go down...but whatdya know? The old fart is a sucker, a D.O.M (Dirty old man), we were the only group who didn't receive a hard question from him in the end. :p Cuz he prob thought us too "sweet" to ATTACK! But then again...I felt insulted...dish me one of your complex questions and I would have had a SURE answer for you. LOLx!

So this time I didn't try and lead the group...like I usually try and do...in a democractic fashion of course. :) I had a very nice flash, orange, modern powerpoint template for the modern office layout but yea... I gave up and pink was a winner. I realised I gotta stand back and take on other ppl's ideas sometimes, cuz it's not always right to make 'executive decisions'. By giving someone a go..and letting them participate in the leadership you are gaining respect from that person. I have been watching too much of 'The Apprentice'. Hehehe... I would never wanna work for MR. Trump, esp. on that show...the girls r such bitches!!

Friday night, I just finished viewing baby photos with my parents. Hehehe it is nice to sit with them and talk about memories.My dad can't believe the baby in the photo is me. :p 20 yrs have past and OMG it will be our generation next!!! Damn scary! Babies!!! ARRRggghhhHHH!!! I still think of myself as a baby sometimes... hahaha...someone take care of me...feed me...play with me... J/K!

My cousins and uncle are coming tmz...crap. I know I should be excited. But not when there is 12 ppl in my HOUSE! urrrgrgghhhh...sleep = 0, study = 0. They wil be here for 2 weeks and my older bro is coming next weekend!!! CAN'T wait to see him though!!! Man...I just missed the big dood sooooooooo mucho! It'll be one big happy family!!! :p

I shall be changing the poll in the near future. But the current results are 3 prefer to be ladies in their next life, 1 male and 1 animal. Hmmm...I guess it's GREAT to be a girl hey? Hehehe...animal...hmmm...what animal I wonder? I would wanna be a polarbear...so warm and cuddly...get to maul ppl...yummy! Hahaha j/k..

Weekend ahead..that means work...yucks..then again, cousins..family, homestay students. Chatting to friends. Ahhhh just taking it easy. On monday it's full steam ahead on the exam cram. Take care ya''ll enjoy ur weekend. ^_^

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'Sex in the city' sessions/QAF4
Tuesday. 11.2.04 5.35 pm

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date.

But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?

It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky.

Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a
great closet of clothes, no matter what!

Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year...

Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You Most Like?
Take This Quiz Right Now!

Thanks Jac for this quiz...I have been looking everywhere for something like this! :) What did I tell ya ppl...a Carrie...


'Queer as folk' season 4, ep 1, did not fail to impress me :) Luv the new intro and the hot hairstyles the cast have got. I think Ben is still gorgeous for a gay guy...what a waste :( heehee... Debbie is still my fav character, Micheal's supportive gay mother. She is just so funny in a way - being the loving mother but then smackin anyone over the head who doesn't listen to her... I just passed the tape to Tiff and kinda missing it... *sobs* J/K! hehehe..

I woke up at 6.30 this morning to go to my mum's work place to take a few photos of her office for my presentation this coming thursday. It is my last assignment for this semester!!! And then I can fully concentrate on getting studies done.

Then I went into uni today to meet up with my group members but only one girl showed up! I dunnp how we are gonna get this done. But as I said before grp work sucks! Plus I am buggered..my legs are so painful from the pump class yesterday, especially when I'm cLimbing and descending stairs... *cries* No pain no gain...my instructor was like "it is meant to hurt, but it is good hurt". LOL! Hmmm...wondering if I will learn my lesson. :)

I saw Fernando last night and got the ball photos in print. I was so happy to see him becuz it has been a week an a half...and I had started to miss him. *sniff* But now I am happy. *grinz* Felt bad for leaving you boo to see my girls at Oriels...wanted to spend more time catching up. :) Hopefully next week isn't too hectic for the both of us...come study break week! YAY! And summer holidays - DOUBLE YAY!

Yea...I went to Oriels cafe around 10.30pm to meet up with Tiff, Yo and Vira. It was fun and great to see the girls and have our girly chats. :) Many of the other customers sitting around us were guys and were so "in-tuned" to what we had to say. Becuz they were staring at us and leaning in a lil to grasp "female chat" and it was hilarious. They were also waving to catch our attention at one pt! DUH! I guess they wanted to know how women converse, think, what they want and how they bond. I don't think men can ever be that 'chummy' because it just isn't their 'thing'. F, was saying that we girls are like the 'sex in the city' girls...hehehe I can see a character in each of us when we have our get togethers. We agreed on me being the 'Carrie Bradshaw' of the group...in a way I see a lil of her in me...being all tuned in on r'ships, finding Mr. Right and settling down with the right guy...oooo... I wish I had her wardrobe...and her shoes! Manolo Blahniks city!!!!! hehehehe. J/K! I also luv to write...maybe not a column, but my blog is good enough. :p

I only started watching 'sex in the city' recently, and wonder how could I have missed out on the entire series and now it is about to finish! Those girls are so funny and I'm going to miss them :) They have changed many womens' lives...I think they liberated this generation...making us proud to be women. Hell being a girl/woman is great - cuz girls just wanna have fun!!! ^_^

Hope u are all having a nice week! Stress less...and that way you can concentrate better...can't wait till the holidays to catch up with u guys! take care *hugs*

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Essays in Love- for the romantic :)
Saturday. 10.30.04 11:01 am

*I just wanted to share a few passages from this novel with you because I think it is true how we perceive love, in a philosophical way. It explains love so intrically. If you enjoy these passages, I shall post the rest I have selected in 'writings'. If you really want to read it for yourself...borrow the book from your local library!!*

We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone beautiful, intelligent and witty as we are ugly, stupid and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide that they will love us back? We can only be shocked - how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?
(Sweetie...that is y I continue to ask..."why u chose me?")

Perhaps it is true that the easiest ppl to fall in love with are those who tell us very little about themselves beyond what we can read from their face or voice. In fantasy, a person is endlessly, love-ably malleable.
(Somehow that is the case...y is that? curiosity?)

In the oasis complex, the thirsty man imagines he sees water, palm trees and shade not because he has evidence for the belief, but because he has a need for it. Desperate needs bring about the hallucination of their solution: thirsts hallucinates water, the need for love hallucinates the ideal man or woman.
(That's what falling in love tooo FAST means...)

Aware of the other's characteristics, we acquired a need to rename one another. Love finds us with a name it did not invent, a name given to us by parents at birth and formalized by passports and civl registers. Given the uniqueness the lover locates, is it not natural it should find expression in the name others do not use?The importance of these nicknames lay not in the particular name we had landed on...but in the fact we had chosen to relabel one another in the first place.
(awwww...my boo_bum lol!)

Everyone returns us to a different sense of ourselves, for we become a little of who they think we are.
(Hmmm...I wonder if I have changed myself to be alike you, F)

Romantic nostalgia decends when we are faced with those who might have been our lovers, but whom chance has decreed we will never know. The possibility of an alternative love life is a reminder that the life we are leading is only one of a myriad of possible lives: it is perhaps the impossibility of leading them all that plunges us into sadness.
(Have u eva felt this way anyone? The extreme step is - "cheating"!!! But it is normal, I think to feel that way sometimes...)

The tradgedy of love is that it does not escape the temporal dimensions. When one is with a current lover, there is a particular cruelty in the thought of one's indifference towards past loves. There is something appalling in the idea that the person for whom you would sacrifice anything for today might in a few months cause you to cross the road to avoid them.
(I wish this never has to happen...the "let's still be friends" pack between ex-lovers...does that ever work?)

And even if we are beautiful and rich, then we do not wish to be loved on account of these things, for they may fail us, and with them, love. I would prefer you to compliment me on my brain than on my face, but if you must, then I would rather you comment on my smile (motor and muscle control) than on my nose (static and tissue based).
(No one tell me I'm beautiful cuz it is just mockery to me...sorry..)

The desire is that I be loved even if I lost everything: leaving nothing but 'me', this mysterious 'me' taken to be the self at its weakest, most vunerable point. Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but Do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test. but Do you love me stripped of everything that might be lost, for only the things I will have for ever?
(I'm glad to have someone know my weaknesses and accept me regardless for them...)

*These are just a few phrases taken from the book...which is one of the best reads I think. This author really takes the time to examine the intricacies of love by dissecting or cross-sectionally view the emotion. Very moving stuff*

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Christmas Kindness
Thursday. 10.28.04 8.21am

When I had time the other day to sit down to an afternoon show of Oprah I was glad it was one of her 'spirit' shows because I'm getting a bit tired of those makeovers. But this one was particularly special and captured my heart because it was the 'Christmas kindness' segment. I have never cried so much over a talk show before. I felt it embarassing for anyone to come into the room to see me like that!

The purpose of the 'Christmas Kindness' segment was to reach out to everyone out there watching that show to give to those people in South Africa, especially those kids who have no parents. That area of Africa at least 1/3 adults and children have aids. The average age is prob 30. They have no medicines, no knowledge of HIV/AIDS, they are falling sick and thousands are dying. It seems that their population will soon be no more if this continues to happen and that AIDS continues to spread.

It was so heart wrenching to see those kids who have no shoes, no proper homes (built of cardboard), no pens/paper for education, not much food/water and no medical help. I saw babies who had HIV...so sad :( But when I saw Oprah visit them during Christmas season she brought gifts of food, stationary, new clothes, parties, medical help, etc...she is really my hero! :) For her to earn so much money and give so much back I think this is what everyone should be considering. Oprah put a smile on every single face, but instead she was crying herself cuz she felt sad for each of their stories.

It doesn't really take that much money to look after a human being. Than spending on the extras of your car, the diet books and gym fees. I feel so humbled by that show. Bringing someone that kind of joy would be the best feeling in the world! As Oprah said 'we are all human beings sharing this one planet, we should be helping one another'. I just wanna help now...when I eat my meal I think about those people around the world who wasn't born into such a fortunate life. I believe in being content...right now...i don't want anything else....I'm so glad I have my parents unlike other children.

Go to Christmas Kindness to see what it is all about. It doesn't take much time to take a look. :) Time is what we have, time is what they don't have.

Or 46664 - Nelson Mandela Foundation (I really support this one), fight against aids.

I hope this blog inspires u at least a lil to get involve in making this world a better place. :) Take care n Love u guys! *hugs*

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Approaching Freak-OUT stage!
Monday. 10.25.04 8.50 am
mood: Stressed over assignments! #_#

I can't believe how close the weeks are coming to the exams! I am in the midst of the busiest phase of this semester. Research report due this fri, Presentation today and a presentation next week. I don't really like feeling this way and also not confident about my studies at all. Cuz let's face it...the textbooks have not been touched. When I open the pages of the book it makes that 'snapping' noise as if it was opened for the first time! Hmmm...

This weekend was nice. I got to see Gail because she came back on Thurs night. She missed me and gave me a big hug when she saw me! I was shocked! Even though I missed her, I didn't know how much. We went out to Luxe bar (The ultimate hang out!!) with Jason, Jess, Mel and Fernando (came too). I hadn't seen F in like 2 weeks/1day and it was a breath of fresh air when he came to my house and gave me a big hug. I luv hugs! Aren't they just the nicest and least expensive way to show that you care? :) Friends are so important...even though they may not be there all the time, I luv it how we can easily get back into the comfortability of our friendship

Cum Saturday we went to northbridge to take a look at the PRIDE PARADE. I didn't get to see much cuz I was late from work. I was tired..but I still wanted to see it with my friends. Jason and the girls were all dressed in pink when I saw them! I felt so outta place with my yellow top! hehehe! The atmosphere of the parade running through the streets just made me so "high" and "happy" in a way...everyone was so exuberant and friendly. :) Colours everywhere! Fireworks in the sky, confetti falling and streamers. It was excellent! Gail, Mel and I went to Metrocity afterz cuz we left Jason at The court for him to scope out his guyfriends. :) Metros wasn't as good as last week cuz of the DJ but alright. Was attacked by hayfever! And didn't have a nice night. No drinks again...I'm doing good! Hehehe. Only late nights...staying up and losing my body clock.

The hair is being a shit and reverting back to my bleached streaks. :/ The purple is fading! I wish I could natural grow purple streaks amongst my black hair! That would be so cooll!!! Hahaha saves all the time and trouble of styling! I may have to do an operation-hair styling today! Cuz I got an interview this thurs. Dunno how...but my hair is still alive and healthy from all this colouring! hahaha!

I hope u guys are all having fun in uni, work or etc etc. I want to watch 'Friends' tonight! And 'Sex in the City' too...it's the last few eps! So sad!!! The good ones are all finishing their final season! :/ Have a nice week everyone! *HUGS*

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